T0324 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Hi, I am new here and will try to keep this short and sweet. My husband and I have been together for 9 years with 2 boys ages 6 and 3. We have had a pretty good relationship with our fair share of arguments but nothing that he has ever walked out over (stayed the night away once at a friends). 7 weeks ago he never came home from work. Didn't tell me his plans. He had just made valentines reservations for us days before he never came home. He said that he was unhappy and just wanted to take a couple days to clear his head. I acted out crying saying I wanted him home would do anything. Things I wish I could take back but I was so shocked. Days turned into I need more time I don't want to make a rash decision. After 2 weeks we still hadn't met or anything and he agreed to counseling. In counseling he said he just didn't know and saw us going 2 separate ways and brought up a lot of issues but the counselor said she could help us towards divorce and I was stunned. I thought we were at marriage counseling. After that meeting we hugged and went our separate ways. He decided he didn't want to go to counseling anymore and wanted to go alone to work on himself. He continued to go alone but still wouldn't meet with me. He ended up texting me he wanted a divorce. I have, as advised by my counselor, not talked to him much except regarding the kids and bills and when he says divorce I just reply that it is not something I want. Fast forwRd to now. We finally met the other night but only to talk about making a schedule for our boys. That morning of the day we met he made sure to send me a text saying he was filing for divorce with his lawyer a week ago. I did my normal response that I wasn't ready to give up and we still ended up meeting but only to talk about the boys. We had a couple drinks and just had fun and talked about life. When I asked him about making a schedule he said we would take it week by week. I then said I don't want to be served with papers. He said I would have to respect his decision if that's what happened. He hugged me at the end more than once and said I have been doing a lot of thinking and still have a lot of thinking to do. I haven't been talking to anyone but you because I need to make this decision alone. He sent me a text as soon as we parted ways saying he knows how hard this is and he's sorry. Well the next day I find out he's telling people still he's getting a divorce. He came over tonight and was back to not even making eye contact with me. I am so confused. I don't know what to do anymore I'm so over hurting. I don't get why he met with me finally after 7 weeks to just talk and not even make the schedule why say we will take it week by week but then not even make eye contact 2 days later. I'm sorry for rambling. Thank you for reading Link to post Share on other sites
Movingforward2 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 You aren't alone. Don't apologize. Many of us have been through the same things. Read the 180, take care of those boys, and work on yourself. I know it's hard to hear and realize, but your life may be taking some changes. Changes you never saw coming, but keep posting, reading, exercising, and praying. Link to post Share on other sites
thedude1974 Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 Hi, I am new here and will try to keep this short and sweet. My husband and I have been together for 9 years with 2 boys ages 6 and 3. We have had a pretty good relationship with our fair share of arguments but nothing that he has ever walked out over (stayed the night away once at a friends). 7 weeks ago he never came home from work. Didn't tell me his plans. He had just made valentines reservations for us days before he never came home. He said that he was unhappy and just wanted to take a couple days to clear his head. I acted out crying saying I wanted him home would do anything. Things I wish I could take back but I was so shocked. Days turned into I need more time I don't want to make a rash decision. After 2 weeks we still hadn't met or anything and he agreed to counseling. In counseling he said he just didn't know and saw us going 2 separate ways and brought up a lot of issues but the counselor said she could help us towards divorce and I was stunned. I thought we were at marriage counseling. After that meeting we hugged and went our separate ways. He decided he didn't want to go to counseling anymore and wanted to go alone to work on himself. He continued to go alone but still wouldn't meet with me. He ended up texting me he wanted a divorce. I have, as advised by my counselor, not talked to him much except regarding the kids and bills and when he says divorce I just reply that it is not something I want. Fast forwRd to now. We finally met the other night but only to talk about making a schedule for our boys. That morning of the day we met he made sure to send me a text saying he was filing for divorce with his lawyer a week ago. I did my normal response that I wasn't ready to give up and we still ended up meeting but only to talk about the boys. We had a couple drinks and just had fun and talked about life. When I asked him about making a schedule he said we would take it week by week. I then said I don't want to be served with papers. He said I would have to respect his decision if that's what happened. He hugged me at the end more than once and said I have been doing a lot of thinking and still have a lot of thinking to do. I haven't been talking to anyone but you because I need to make this decision alone. He sent me a text as soon as we parted ways saying he knows how hard this is and he's sorry. Well the next day I find out he's telling people still he's getting a divorce. He came over tonight and was back to not even making eye contact with me. I am so confused. I don't know what to do anymore I'm so over hurting. I don't get why he met with me finally after 7 weeks to just talk and not even make the schedule why say we will take it week by week but then not even make eye contact 2 days later. I'm sorry for rambling. Thank you for reading Textbook cheater script. Find out who the other woman is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author T0324 Posted April 7, 2014 Author Share Posted April 7, 2014 Thank you for the replies. I'm just wondering where I go from here? I still have hope but his behavior is so up and down. Link to post Share on other sites
Movingforward2 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Read the 180. 1.) Get to a counselor 2.) Get to a doctor 3.) Get a support group of friends 4.) Get physical exercise You got to get going. It's going to be a hard road. Take care of yourself and take care of your boys. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 There's not much you can do if he won't engage you. And yes, it's quite possible he was/is cheating. Anything wrong lately in the marriage ?; anything unusual he was up to, anyone unusual he mentioned ? Link to post Share on other sites
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