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feel totally lost and alone


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I apologise for the long post but I desperately need help. I am a male who has become very close to a female co-worker over the last 5 years. I came to develop very strong feelings for her and we have been intimate on half a dozen occasions but she is basically a drunken party girl and all of the times were clearly just another drunken Saturday romp for her, the fact it was with her best friend is irrelevant.

 

We had a custom of having drinks at her place after work on a Friday and there were a number of people present which included whoever she was banging that month which of course was very difficult for me but aside from my attraction to her I am closer to her than my own family and she can be very considerate when sober.

 

She recently moved interstate for work and we had been staying in contact each week when because of her schedule the agreement was for her to contact me each Saturday but after only a month yesterday she blows me off and doesn't bother calling at all.

 

I have known more pain and confusion during those 5 years than the rest of my life and I think I know what I should do but I can't bring myself to cut ties with the only person I am close with. It is killing me, please what would you do in this situation

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