radioflyer Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 The nerve of my Ex-wife, who cheated on me, left me for him, got pregnant with his baby (now 6 months) and still wanted to work things out!! I get a call from my friend today to say "what in the hell is this that i`m hearing" and stated that in the local paper, was her name applying for a marriage license with him. Now, it wouldn`t be so bad, but she had the nerve to disrespect my family name and use MY LAST NAME!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say, I called her and completely went off the deep end. I had my final words with her. Her defense was that the doctor pulled her out of work and put her on bedrest, causing her to lose her insurance. Therefore, marrying him (in the military) would get her insurance back. As she proclaimed her love for me and how she wanted to work things out, she had no other choice..blahblahblahblah............................... My final words were to not ever talk to me or try and contact me again. I just sold my house and will hopefully be out of here within a month! Thanks for listening and I just can`t believe that my last name was posted in the paper for a marriage license. EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! Marc Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinTX Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Sounds like a cheater who only looks out for themself Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 That pisses me off too. A few months ago, TBXW said that she feels bad every time she sees my name come up on her call display, because it's a reminder of me and what she did to me. Which doesn't jibe with the fact that she's KEEPING my last name, as though she deserves to be part of my family. Every time she's introduced to somebody, every time she gives out her business cards, etc., there's a big fat reminder of the husband and family she betrayed and deceived for years. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 it sounds like there were bigger problems than being so outraged about the use of your name. she probably didn't have any choice if she took your name legally, and no time to legally change it back. this one seems to work too quickly to keep up with herself. granted, she treated you like shi*t, be glad to be rid of her. let her have the name for now, who cares? it won't be for long. those who know you and matter to you that would have seen it in the paper know your situation and that she's not wrapped too tight. those who don't, well who cares what a bunch of strangers think? screw them. you obviously have bigger things to worry about. not to mention better things to move on to... Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 That pisses me off too. A few months ago, TBXW said that she feels bad every time she sees my name come up on her call display, because it's a reminder of me and what she did to me. Which doesn't jibe with the fact that she's KEEPING my last name, as though she deserves to be part of my family. Every time she's introduced to somebody, every time she gives out her business cards, etc., there's a big fat reminder of the husband and family she betrayed and deceived for years. now see that would irk me too. she's not moving onto something right away and does have to time to do something about it... i wonder why she insists on keeping it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author radioflyer Posted January 31, 2005 Author Share Posted January 31, 2005 Thank you for the quick replies and very good advice! My father was saying the same thing. Let her have the name for now and YES my friends truly do know the situation. It`s not worth my emotions anymore and i realized that today. Perhaps it is a final closure for me! Thanks again. Marc Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by radioflyer Thank you for the quick replies and very good advice! My father was saying the same thing. Let her have the name for now and YES my friends truly do know the situation. It`s not worth my emotions anymore and i realized that today. Perhaps it is a final closure for me! Thanks again. Marc good for you. she may very temporarily have the name, but she's not getting the permanent good guy that it really belongs to. my my my, what a long and unhappy life that girl is going to have. (hide your smile, we're supposed to be thinking, feeling, kind and mature adults!!!) Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Hey, just make sure she is married before teh dang baby is born so she doesn't try to pin it on you somehow. And if she's married she can't try to spousal support, etc. It's just a transitional name Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by michelangelo Hey, just make sure she is married before teh dang baby is born so she doesn't try to pin it on you somehow. And if she's married she can't try to spousal support, etc. It's just a transitional name well not to defend the whor*re's actions, but there's no reason to say "dang baby"--it's not the baby's fault. and in some places, the law doesn't care who you're married to, the actual father of the child could still be expected to pay for what is half his, unless the mother and father sign papers agreeing he has no rights to the child, in which case no payments would need to be made or expected. but this isn't radioflyer's child, so he has nothing to worry about. and if there is a possibilty, then radioflyer, i am sure, will have it ruled out before proceeding! Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by GirlDown but this isn't radioflyer's child, so he has nothing to worry about. Not exactly true. If they're already divorced officially then no he probably doesn't but she might otherwise pull some shenanigans. In CA and other states, the non-bio father, sometimes a guy who had never met the mother has gotten hit for child support. Hang in there RF. It sucks but its not that big of a deal. She'll have a new name soon anyway as others have said. Be thankful you're not the one married to her anymore. The new sucker is going to have to realize she cheated once (and got pregnant)..she could do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by Fritz Not exactly true. If they're already divorced officially then no he probably doesn't but she might otherwise pull some shenanigans. In CA and other states, the non-bio father, sometimes a guy who had never met the mother has gotten hit for child support. Hang in there RF. It sucks but its not that big of a deal. She'll have a new name soon anyway as others have said. Be thankful you're not the one married to her anymore. The new sucker is going to have to realize she cheated once (and got pregnant)..she could do it again. yes, thank you, i am aware of this, or i would not have added that if he wasn't sure, he would find out for sure. *please read netire posts before replying. it saves a lot of back-tracking. Link to post Share on other sites
tigerskye Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by GirlDown those who know you and matter to you that would have seen it in the paper know your situation and that she's not wrapped too tight. those who don't, well who cares what a bunch of strangers think? screw them. you obviously have bigger things to worry about. not to mention better things to move on to... That is true. I don't know really know exactly but it seems like when you get a marriage license or anything legal like that you would have to use your legal name. If you have not be divorced too long it is easier for her to her legal name she had when married to you or if she ever thought she would get back with you, it would be pointless to go change it. It is really hard to change your name, because once you do it you have to change everything that has your name on it! Veyr long process...I am not defending her just stating Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Ok, the baby is not "dang baby" but dang! Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 It doesn't sound like its an issue here, but there are some states where the husband is conclusively presumed to be the father of a married woman's child, and there is little that can be done to force her to admit otherwise (such as not being able to require genetic testing) Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 California is like that. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by michelangelo California is like that. wow. california is a bullshi*t state, then. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 It's reflection on just how many women get pregnant by someone other than their husbands. California doesn't want to be bothered with any more paternity issues than it has to. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by michelangelo It's reflection on just how many women get pregnant by someone other than their husbands. California doesn't want to be bothered with any more paternity issues than it has to. Well its a mix of old common law tradition (any child born in a marriage is considered a product of that marriage) and bs child support laws that favor a state run money making system off that support (its a billion dollar industry, states get fed kickbacks when going after "deadbeat dads"). When a man has to go through state court and the state appeals court JUST to get a support order overturned because a state agency made a mistake in claiming him as a father of some kid you know the system is corrupt, especially when the guy proved via DNA testing the kid wasn't his. CA state agencies send these summons via regular mail and one has a 30 day limit to respond. Its insane and one reason why I'd never live in CA again. I'd find a link to that CA case but I'm lazy at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 it's still a bullsh*it state in my book. it's a wonder any men even live there. i am a female, and that decision to me is absolute crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Just a thought here- sometimes the X wants to keep the last name because there are children of the marriage by that last name, makes it easier. That is my case. Link to post Share on other sites
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