nescafe1982 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 There's seven pages telling me to move out which has nothing to do with this thread Perhaps it will help things if you can explain how your family is bullying you? What do they do, exactly? What is making home life feel so hostile to you? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Perhaps it will help things if you can explain how your family is bullying you? What do they do, exactly? What is making home life feel so hostile to you? I'm not of the belief that she's being bullied. Her overreaction, suggesting that people are "insulting" her on here, says to me that her family is probably expressing frustration that she is not doing more with herself. If she is being bullied, there's very little that she can do except grin and bear it, or move out. If she doesn't want to live with roommates or by herself, then she must be waiting for a man to live with him. If that's the case, the continued obsession with her ex must be about what he represented - an escape. But waiting for a man is not the answer. She has to stand on her own two feet first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 You're wrong xD that's certainly not a reason for them to do so since its been going on for years. The physical abuse mostly stopped without me moving out which means that if you stop wasting my time on here, someone can perhaps give me a useful advice on this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 You're wrong xD that's certainly not a reason for them to do so since its been going on for years. The physical abuse mostly stopped without me moving out which means that if you stop wasting my time on here, someone can perhaps give me a useful advice on this situation. The advice is not useless. To solve the problem of an abusive situation, you must leave it. I encourage anyone on here to say differently - if they have a solution, I'm all ears. But there isn't another one. You stay and get abused. You leave and don't get abused. It's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 well, leaving is not an option since that would cost me my life. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 well, leaving is not an option since that would cost me my life. Why? Seems to me that staying there is going to cost you your life. You seemed so willing to insist that suicide was such a good option. Clearly you want to live, as evidenced by this reply, so if you value your life so much, why stay with your mum? Take a chance and move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 i can't move out :s it'd kill me, and i dont plan to move out for another 4 years and i have permission to live at home so why would i? only need a psychological tool to block them out of my head, if you can't give me one, please stop wasting my time . Link to post Share on other sites
Soursoupz Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hmm, i dont know how real your story is because some people love to trow everything on "they hate me". While it may be just family issues etc. We dont know your whole home situation but if its so you should move out. Be successful have a great friends group. And you need to change your mentality about i cant do anything im stuck. It sounds the same as "my family hates me". You need to step up and stop hanging in the victim mode. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 i can't move out :s it'd kill me, and i dont plan to move out for another 4 years and i have permission to live at home so why would i? only need a psychological tool to block them out of my head, if you can't give me one, please stop wasting my time . You're only wasting your own time. Why would moving out kill you? What makes the difference between now and 4 years away? Link to post Share on other sites
Soursoupz Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Talk to your school counsellor if things are that bad and you dont want to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 1. there's no school counselor, i'm not in high school. 2. i'm not stuck in a victim mode, i really can't do anything because I'm too ill to work at all. 3. it'd kill me because of my illness that won't get any better until i've finished uni in four years. and if i move out, i can't afford going to uni at all. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 1. there's no school counselor, i'm not in high school. 2. i'm not stuck in a victim mode, i really can't do anything because I'm too ill to work at all. 3. it'd kill me because of my illness that won't get any better until i've finished uni in four years. and if i move out, i can't afford going to uni at all. You're not going to get magically better come 4 years of uni. What are you studying? Generally, you need some decent work experience to get a good job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 of course i'll get magically better in four years when 90% of my mental health is strongly connected to my performance anxiety concerning my grades at school -.- High school courses. Work experience at a grocery store wont give me a good job as a professor. -.- it only takes away time from studying. And i can't work at all when i cna't study, please get that into your head, it's annoying to keep repeating myself when no one seems to listen Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 of course i'll get magically better in four years when 90% of my mental health is strongly connected to my performance anxiety concerning my grades at school -.- High school courses. Work experience at a grocery store wont give me a good job as a professor. -.- it only takes away time from studying. And i can't work at all when i cna't study, please get that into your head, it's annoying to keep repeating myself when no one seems to listen A professor in what? You're 20, and doing high school courses? What happens after that? Generally, you'll have to do a 3 year degree, then probably some post graduate work, possibly a doctorate - how are you going to be done in 4 years? You're not getting good marks now, right? How do you plan to turn that around? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 no idea yet, either ancient history or geology (volcanos or earth quakes, since there will be plenty of jobs there) yes, i quit high school when i was 16 because i was too ill to continue. had hoped to finish 8 courses in 8 weeks now and then go to college next semester. I won't be done with my education in 4 years, but the grade pressure will be gone then. No, i'm getting terrible results, since I've gotten worse this semester I'm only on a C-level now when it comes to grades and i can't turn it around, at least i dont know how. i just want to finish them right now, getting a C on these courses combined with my previous A's gives me access and guarantees me a spot to more than 85% of all courses and programs on the colleges and universities in Sweden, even the very best ones. I'm just trying to find a way to finish these in time and then pay an extra fee next semester while trying to raise those C's to be able to access more programs since my dream is Oxford. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 no idea yet, either ancient history or geology (volcanos or earth quakes, since there will be plenty of jobs there) yes, i quit high school when i was 16 because i was too ill to continue. had hoped to finish 8 courses in 8 weeks now and then go to college next semester. I won't be done with my education in 4 years, but the grade pressure will be gone then. No, i'm getting terrible results, since I've gotten worse this semester I'm only on a C-level now when it comes to grades and i can't turn it around, at least i dont know how. i just want to finish them right now, getting a C on these courses combined with my previous A's gives me access and guarantees me a spot to more than 85% of all courses and programs on the colleges and universities in Sweden, even the very best ones. I'm just trying to find a way to finish these in time and then pay an extra fee next semester while trying to raise those C's to be able to access more programs since my dream is Oxford. Hire a tutor. If you can't pass on your own, you need a tutor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 A tutor? This is Sweden :s plus i can't afford one. A tutor won't make any difference at all. It's not that I can't reach an A on my own, I really am smarter than average, but my illness and fears make me too paralyzed to study as I used to at the Moment , Also why I created a thread of overcoming performance anxiety. A tutor can never fix that. Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I thought you said you make more money unemployed then a working person at MCDonalds. You saying a working man can't afford a tutor? Or you who seemingly makes more, can't? You should be able to, based on your tales. Your therapist should be fixing these problems, they are more experienced and better suited at this, than us. If you are open with them and tell them everything, i don't see why they could not. Tehnically, they should be better then what anyone here has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 I won't get that much money as long as I'm a student. A tutor can't help me with any of it. Well, 8 therapists and 3 doctors haven't been able to solve this problem.. I'm very open with them. But basically, they want me to temporary quit school because there's nothing they can do. After my ex and all I'm pretty broken. Both physically and mentally so all the professionals want me to do nothing but resting for at least a year. I'm 20 and already burned out. And I refuse to do that. I don't wanna waste another year on nothing so that's why I'm here, desperately trying to find a better solution than sleeping for a year. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 OP you've ignored my earnest attempts to assess the problem and help you. There's not much anyone can do if you refuse to engage them with anything other than excuses. Actually, I'm an historian and a professor. I can tell you a bit about norms for my profession... but I'm not really sure it's worth my time to type them out as you've ignored so many others here already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 I haven't ignored anyone. But telling me to move and get a job when I really can't because of my health are useless advice and doesn't help my situation at all. I've written more than once what my problem is but no one has given a useful advice to it Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I haven't ignored anyone. But telling me to move and get a job when I really can't because of my health are useless advice and doesn't help my situation at all. I've written more than once what my problem is but no one has given a useful advice to it Go back and read my last two posts. This is not what I said. I asked for clarification of the problem. Without that, no one here can make additional advice for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 OP you've ignored my earnest attempts to assess the problem and help you. There's not much anyone can do if you refuse to engage them with anything other than excuses. Actually, I'm an historian and a professor. I can tell you a bit about norms for my profession... but I'm not really sure it's worth my time to type them out as you've ignored so many others here already. It's not just a refusal to engage, it's also an agressive refusal, the tone of the posts is agressive, coupled with a constant 'no', and a lack of unification of the situation ... this is page 9 and all the information is separated on everyone of these pages. The longer the thread gets, the less ppl will post, and the more likely it will be that the posters who do posts, won't have read the former pages. There are also contradictions from page to page, that makes it a nightmare for anyone trying to follow this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted April 14, 2014 Author Share Posted April 14, 2014 and all pages contains the same useless advice: get a job and/or move out. People don't need to read more than the first post on this thread and if they know how to put up a mental blocking barrier then they can tell me or they can keep scrolling and give advice to others. There's nothing aggressive with that Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 and all pages contains the same useless advice: get a job and/or move out. People don't need to read more than the first post on this thread and if they know how to put up a mental blocking barrier then they can tell me or they can keep scrolling and give advice to others. There's nothing aggressive with that Good luck to you, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
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