which_way_is_up Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Hi all, I've been separated for about a month. I left him - in part to take a job out-of-state but also to give both of us space. My husband supported my leaving. I'm getting mixed messages from him - he says he wants to work things out yet he has already joined Match and is dating. Which BTW, he didn't tell me about Match...I had this feeling he had done it and went and found the profile. I am really hurt by this (and have let him know) but he is adamant about doing it. I just don't understand how he can simultaneously work on our relationship while dating others. And personally I just have no clue how he can even be interested in dating....I am such a mixed-up mess right now - dating is furthest thing from my mind. I just feel like I am a backup plan at this point...which I may very well be. Others out there experienced this? Any advice on how to deal with my feelings of jealousy? Thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Get the address of his new girlfriend and send her a sympathy card, she'll need it. My point is that even in your case OP, you left him, you are a mess like you said in your post. I tried dating too soon after I left my XW for having several affairs and failed miserably, he more than likely will as well. The problem when we come out of a bad relationship is that we tend to bring the baggage into the new one if we enter into another relationship too soon. JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 "I don't know how he can work on our relationship while simultaneously dating"... Well, he can't. And the fact he hid it means he knows it's unacceptable. If he was serious about the marriage, he wouldn't be shopping elsewhere. I just left my verbally abusive H. And even though he can be an idiot, he's doing everything in his power to change. If he wasn't the marriage would be over. So I can understand where you're coming from. ((((hugs)))) Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 "I don't know how he can work on our relationship while simultaneously dating"... Well, he can't. And the fact he hid it means he knows it's unacceptable. If he was serious about the marriage, he wouldn't be shopping elsewhere. I just left my verbally abusive H. And even though he can be an idiot, he's doing everything in his power to change. If he wasn't the marriage would be over. So I can understand where you're coming from. ((((hugs)))) Agreed. Also shows he cannot be alone and he is not thinking of you but his appendage. Link to post Share on other sites
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