lonely_tx Posted April 7, 2014 Share Posted April 7, 2014 Hey everyone. I just needed somewhere to vent about my marriage, so I apologize in advance if this is long winded. My husband and I got married in October of 2010 after dating a year. Dating him was great. He was supportive and we did a lot of things together. Since then, we've become basically roommates. It's been 2.5 years since we had sex or any sort of intimate contact further than a peck on the lips, he sleeps on the sofa by choice and we do nothing together anymore, other than see an occasional movie or go to a restaurant. He's been working a lot recently (It's their busy time of year) and is understandably grouchy... but I just can't deal anymore. I'm getting nothing out of our relationship... and, other than having someone to wash his laundry and handle the finances, I cannot see what he's getting out of it. I've tried talking to him numerous times but nothing changes. Yet he's talking about buying a house now. We just... have nothing in common. He smokes, I like craft beer. He likes doing really nerdy things, I like the outdoors. I like hockey, he hates sports. I'm a romance author, he works in the oilfield. So, I'm throwing in the towel. This will be my second divorce. The first one ended after my first husband cheated on me. Anyway, that's my story. I don't want to be divorced, yet again, because I'm the sort of person that believes in happy endings and finding that one person you're meant to be with.. but, yeah. Not happening. Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Sorry for your situation, OP. Doesn't sound like a bad guy, just not very compatible. Doesn't sound like he's using you. I think you owe each other a really serious "His needs, her needs" conversation before you throw in the towel. One of the complaints we men have about women is the expectation of mind reading : you need to first decide what your needs are, what you thought his needs are, before having that conversation. Good luck OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hurts1968 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Talk...Talk....Talk You need to talk and find out if there is anything worth saving, he maybe the man you describe but maybe not think that he is! I had the end of my marriage dropped on me, no taking, no nothing...that is horrible. I say again, talk...at least then you will both know! Hope it all works out for the best! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Al King Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 So sorry to hear that you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lonely_tx Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 Hey everyone and thanks for the notes. I've tried talking to him a thousand times it seems (might be only 23 times in reality). I don't want to leave him because when we do actually do things together, we have a great time. But, those times are too few and far between. I cannot live in a passionless, sexless marriage. Life is too damned short. This morning, I asked him if he was still happy being married to me. He said, "yes. If I wasn't, I'd leave." Anyway, I did tell him I wanted to talk to him about us the next time that he is off. He responded, "ok... Are you going to divorce me now that your books are doing good and you can afford to?" I just don't get it. What man would be happy with a marriage like ours? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lonely_tx Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 I just found the phrase "walk-away wife syndrome" in another thread... jeez. Fits my story to a T: The Walkaway Wife Syndrome | divorcenet.com Link to post Share on other sites
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