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Can I text the dumper to let her know that I will always be there for her?

Ordinaryday

By Ordinaryday,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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hoping2heal

hoping2heal

Posted
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Everybody reading this thread needs to realize that he just wants to get revenge on her.

 

Look over his previous posts.

 

He basically wants to trick her into asking him for help when she really needs it so he can tell her to F off.

 

Hopefully that's just the anger talking.

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DontBreakEven

DontBreakEven

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well I was thinking it would be nice to reach out to her and tell her that I will always care about her, always be there for her, she will always be special to me and that if she ever needs ANYTHING she can give me a call...

 

that way when she is at a low point in her life in a few months or years time and she remembers what I said, she will reach out to me. then I will tell her "are you effing serious? you need me to help you after what you did to me? piss off and dont ever contact me again"

 

that would be nice.

 

This is the most childish thing I have ever heard in my life. Please do not reach out to her to let her know you care. You do not.

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Ordinaryday

Ordinaryday

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This is the most childish thing I have ever heard in my life. Please do not reach out to her to let her know you care. You do not.

 

yeah but to be fair, she said the same thing to me. "I care, I love you" and obviously she didnt mean it.

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bluegreen

bluegreen

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yeah she dumped me, but she was going through a really tough time and we suffered as a result. she was near suicidal and had to take anti-depressant medication.

 

anyway, yeah she dumped me but it just feels so final, someone you shared everything with is for all intents and purposes dead, hence the expression "she is dead to me".

 

she had so many problems she was trying to work through, emotional, financial, family, depression, etc.

 

I was at a much more stable place in life than she is, and I often helped her out.

 

can I text her to let her know that I will always be there for her if she needs me, and that even though she dumped me if she ever needs anything she can call me and I will be there for her?

 

is this a good idea? :o:lmao::D:p:rolleyes::cool:

 

 

 

You could not be more sweet if you tried and I so appreciate that.

Unfortunately she did not nor will and saying this to her would be equal to saying : OK am willing to be treated and looked upon like puppy if you feel like it you can kick me or from time to time throw me a bone or scrap of food.

That's OK I'll still be around and like you for it.

 

So is that enough of an answer for you ?

Use that good heart to pay it forward in a places and with people who will appreciate it ....

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melell

melell

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yeah but to be fair, she said the same thing to me. "I care, I love you" and obviously she didnt mean it.

 

Op, I am 100% sure you wouldn't be sending the message to get revenge on her.

 

You obviously still care.

 

To be honest, if you want to be a caring person, and genuinely would only want to offer support at a platonic level, then go ahead and message her.

 

If your agenda is anything more than offering support-no strings attached- then it will end up hurting you.

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Simon Phoenix

Simon Phoenix

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yeah but to be fair, she said the same thing to me. "I care, I love you" and obviously she didnt mean it.

 

So your brilliant solution is lower yourself to her level or below? Laps dude, starting running them.

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hoping2heal

hoping2heal

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yeah but to be fair, she said the same thing to me. "I care, I love you" and obviously she didnt mean it.

 

 

Well, I guess you didn't mean it either. Now you're both even. Congrats on the big score card in life.

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redbaron005

redbaron005

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IMHO you would be best served investing all this time you are ploting to seek revenge and to do others wrong by taking a long, hard look at why you feel the need to do this. I read your past posts, and am disheartened by the attitude you're bringing to the table. You are defined in this life by what you give to others. Think about that.

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Ordinaryday

Ordinaryday

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IMHO you would be best served investing all this time you are ploting to seek revenge and to do others wrong by taking a long, hard look at why you feel the need to do this. I read your past posts, and am disheartened by the attitude you're bringing to the table. You are defined in this life by what you give to others. Think about that.

 

I think if you read through the majority of posts here, most people have a similar attitude. if they didnt they wouldnt be here.

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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I think if you read through the majority of posts here, most people have a similar attitude. if they didnt they wouldnt be here.

 

You and Sugarkane should date lol. You guys could sit around all day long and waste time plotting revenge on your ex's.

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Simon Phoenix

Simon Phoenix

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I think if you read through the majority of posts here, most people have a similar attitude. if they didnt they wouldnt be here.

 

I can confidently say that most people on this site are not trying to plot revenge on their exes.

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somedude81

somedude81

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I am still extremely angry at my ex for dumping me, but I've never thought about trying to get revenge on her or trick her in some way.

 

Just leave the bitch alone.

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Ordinaryday

Ordinaryday

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I have no desire to 'get revenge' on my ex. however, having said that, after how she hurt me and broke my heart and tore it into pieces, if she ever reaches out to me.... yeah it is not going to be pretty.

 

but she will have to make that move, I wont.

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ConfusedHumanBeing

ConfusedHumanBeing

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I have no desire to 'get revenge' on my ex. however, having said that, after how she hurt me and broke my heart and tore it into pieces, if she ever reaches out to me.... yeah it is not going to be pretty.

 

but she will have to make that move, I wont.

 

It will still be a stupid move

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Lifegoezon

Lifegoezon

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I have no desire to 'get revenge' on my ex. however, having said that, after how she hurt me and broke my heart and tore it into pieces, if she ever reaches out to me.... yeah it is not going to be pretty.

 

but she will have to make that move, I wont.

 

Except you are making that move by sending the text you propose in your OP

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David87

David87

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I am a doormat and I'm proud of it. I've just translated your title op.

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Ordinaryday

Ordinaryday

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Except you are making that move by sending the text you propose in your OP

 

well I haven't sent the text yet!

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organizedchaos

organizedchaos

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So your brilliant solution is lower yourself to her level or below? Laps dude, starting running them.

 

Followed up by 20 push-ups.

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smileforelena

smileforelena

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If you "love" her, and genuinely do love her, then yes. I believe you should. So long as you realise she may never come back to you. So long as you're prepared to accept that, and you really just mean that you'll always be there for her which doesn't necessarily mean a romantic relationship, but you'll be there as a friend through all of her ups and downs. Then tell her.

 

If you're saying only with the motivation that you expect one day she may want you back because of you being there for her, then please don't. Walk away. Never look back for your own sake.

Do not give yourself an excuse to have false hope. That would hurt more trust me. The only thing you can control is your reaction. You can assume all you want how she would react to a message like that but at the end of the day that is not helping you move forward.

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redbaron005

redbaron005

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if they didnt they wouldnt be here.

 

I disagree. Many people are here to help you learn to help yourself. This process of helping yourself often counter-intuitively involves being selfless.

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sooshi

sooshi

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Posted

Don't do it. You're not always going to be there for her. It just probably felt that way when you created this thread. Especially don't do it because you want her to reach out to you at some point and then intentionally not be there for her.

 

Just say nothing.

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AtTheStart

AtTheStart

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Posted

Look dude...10% of life is what happens to you. The other 90% is how you react to it.

 

I know it sucks that she broke you heart but seriously? You're just itching that bad to shove it back in her face? Wow. Breakups happen...it's terrible but true. I don't ever want to see mine again, at all. But Im not out to cause her grief.

 

Try a little empathy, what if you were her...had to deal with the strife of falling out of love and having to break that to someone you cared deeply for?

 

So you've got two options? You can either start doing push ups and get your head right...or....just sit idly by waiting for her (possibly never) return for you to throw it back in her face when you could be having sex with blondes.

 

Bottom line is this girl was never relationship material. Sure she might be a good f*ck buddy or friend with benefits in the future but that's the best we can all hope for her now. She disqualified herself from ever being considered having integrity, loyalty, and deserving of your attention when she left!

 

Peace on your journey!

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