beach Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I hinted to him that I'm aware of him being on Craigslist. I didn't go into details and explain thoroughly in what I know. However, just by me hinting he went ballistic stating he never heard of anything like that" he doesn't even know how it works" LIES LIES LIES. The day after I hinted he cancelled the secret email. HOWEVER, I screen shot ALL THE POST before the cancellation! Even with the email cancellation notice being sent to he's legit email address. I screen shot that also. I'm tired of hinting! And being indirect!!! Honestly I was fearful, and embarrassed to say "I went through your computer that's how I found the secret email" but realizing my safety is what's more important! I'm a bit in Denial and devastated. I'm feeling low! HOW DO I PRESENT THIS TO HIM! How? Try this - "it's completely OVER"! You can even do it by phone - I don't think you even owe it to him to see him in person ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 11, 2014 Author Share Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) He is away on business since this week Monday and will back tomorrow afternoon, I haven't said anything to him yet. HOWEVER, I .have pack all my belongings and moved all my stuff out of the house. As of tonight I will be blocking his number. Copy's of the craglist post will be left by the front door upon his arrival. A part of me wants to know why but honestly I don't think I will ever know! This 6 year chapter of my life is closed. I recently had a dr appt back in February and everything was fine. (Thank you God) However, just made another one this coming Wedensday! My prayer is that this never happen to anyone! The pain it's causing is unbearable, I haven't shed a tear not once and that's unuasual for me. I feel as if I'm num. I hope I don't break down and won't be able to pick myself up. I need strength and courage to moved foward. I don't want feelings of hate to live in me but it's hard not feel that way. Now I'm crying while sending this Edited April 11, 2014 by Blessed30 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 11, 2014 Share Posted April 11, 2014 I hope I don't break down and won't be able to pick myself up. You will break down but that is okay. Just surround yourself with people who can be there for you during that time. And you WILL pick yourself back up! When I went through my divorce, it took me several years - and therapy! - to survive what I went through. And, honestly, it took me another 25 years to even reconsider marriage (I am recently married for a second time, at the age of 50). Are you leaving him any notes to not bother contacting you? Because you know he will try... Built a network of people that can help you block him. We are here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
StumpyNB Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 - Don't fight. - Hug him. - Tell him its over. - Tell him to be the real him and stop pretending to be someone he is not, and hopefully he can find true happiness. - Tell him your happiness lies elsewhere. - Leave - Cry - Seek help if needed - Find someone who is honest with you and themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
deni9 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 OMG!! THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME!!! not that he is gay, it was with women and transsexuals! I found out by his ipod and then later by his ipad. Listen, you need to run!! I promise you that is the right thing!! I didn't run like I should of and I deeply regret it. He has damage me so bad! So please I ask you to run! if you want to tell him that you know, go ahead, but just leave and remove him from your life!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 I have been taking this one day at a time but today has been far the WORST, I saw my ex face to face and I had rage, anger, hurt, deciet all in ONE. Things begin to become alittle heated, all he could do is DENY EVERYTHING! That begin to make things worst. I begin to yell and scream and asking how you could have done this to me. He replied that isn't true I don't know anything about that! I kept saying you are on the DL your gay just admit....He begin to become extremely MAD by saying " I better not say that again" while approaching me. He became very mad..... I then left, my eyes are puffy from crying I can't take this really I can't. This pain is unbearable. After all hearing him say that it isn't true I begin to think ( did I really see what I saw) i believe it's called whistleblowing... I have to stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 I was curious what happened to you since you last posted. How was it that you saw your Ex? Did you move out? We are here for you and I'm sorry he was so nasty with you. Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Following the post Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 28, 2014 Author Share Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) I meant to use the term "gas lighting " not "whistle blowing" my mistake... Also he came to my job stating he needed to talk and it escalated from there. Yes I moved out and staying with a relative until I could find my own place. Feeling lost Edited April 28, 2014 by Blessed30 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted April 28, 2014 Share Posted April 28, 2014 Call security right away if he visits your employment. It doesn't matter if he comes to you. You can still refuse to engage him in conversation. Do not agree to speak with him no matter what. Contact the authorities if he begins harassing you. And of course he'll deny everything, become enraged with the possibility of being outed as gay, and purposefully confront you. He's a closeted homosexual. What happened is about power and control. He was trying to regain a sense of power by speaking with you and beginning the blame-shift, doubts, and accusations of being mistaken. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Call security right away if he visits your employment. It doesn't matter if he comes to you. You can still refuse to engage him in conversation. Do not agree to speak with him no matter what. Contact the authorities if he begins harassing you. And of course he'll deny everything, become enraged with the possibility of being outed as gay, and purposefully confront you. He's a closeted homosexual. What happened is about power and control. He was trying to regain a sense of power by speaking with you and beginning the blame-shift, doubts, and accusations of being mistaken. At this point, it doesn't matter his intentions. What DOES matter is that he isn't who he said he was, and he mislead you, and you need to exit that situation. Immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Share Posted April 29, 2014 I made my job aware of him not being able to contact me nor visit and to call security if he's on the premises. I shouldn't have engaged in conversing with him but my emotions and seeing him at that moment outweighed everything. I didnt feel any better then I did initially it just spark a side in me that was emotionally hurt and scarred. I feel disgusted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 You could just tell him that you have screen shots of his emails with other guys, and that you talked to one of the guys he met and confirmed they were together. And that if he doesn't leave you alone and never talk to you again, you'll send the screen shots to his church. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Share Posted April 29, 2014 You could just tell him that you have screen shots of his emails with other guys, and that you talked to one of the guys he met and confirmed they were together. And that if he doesn't leave you alone and never talk to you again, you'll send the screen shots to his church. He knows I have the proof STILL DENYS IT! States he doesn't know what I'm talking about. But yet he was full of pure rage when I called him gay and being on the DL. The sad thing about it is I have the proof and all the information far as secret email account on his laptop, all the post with men, the post with the # I called, when I initially told him HE IMMEDIATLY DELETED THE EMAIL ACCOUNT! But he sent the email removal information to his regular account which I screen shot also that states he delete the secret email and he still DENY IT! Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 You're confused about what? I can't think of much more than this to be a relationship ending offence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blessed30 Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 You're confused about what? I can't think of much more than this to be a relationship ending offence. I take it your responding to my initial post April 7th... Their were many mix feelings I had confusing of why & how this was happening, hurt, sad, devasted, etc... No longer confused and the relationship has ended! However the feelings of hurt, being sad and yes it devastated me are still here! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Womaneyezer Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 What in the WORLD is there to be confused about? He's gay! Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I take it your responding to my initial post April 7th... Their were many mix feelings I had confusing of why & how this was happening, hurt, sad, devasted, etc... No longer confused and the relationship has ended! However the feelings of hurt, being sad and yes it devastated me are still here! BRAVO!!! You were very brave and did the right thing. Don't let that sway you in any way. Yes, this is going to hurt like a son-of-a-b*tch for some time but it's not the end of the world. I promise you. Make sure you go NC with this flaming a**hole and then allow yourself the time and room to mourn the relationship and all that he did to ruin it. It's okay to feel devastated and angry and lost. It's all part of the mourning process. Also, be sure to surround yourself with people who care about you and support you. You will need them if only to cry on their shoulders. Eventually, the cloud will pass and you will recover from this heartbreak. This experience will only make you stronger not weaker. You already proved how strong of a woman you are for heaven't sake! It takes a ton of guts and courage to stand up to this guy and even more to leave. Celebrate THAT and count your blessings you didn't invest another 2, 5 or 10 years with this guy. Hugs to you Link to post Share on other sites
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