stephwill Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 We've been dating for 2.5 years and I've been on vacation with him and his mom, twice. She does not like me at all anymore and i'll give a list of reasons why. She just started to really dislike me actually. It's so off and on with her. Sometimes she'll like me and the other times she just doesn't want me around, but now its to the extreme and I haven't done ANYTHING TO HER. Reason below: 1.) She doesn't even want me in her house anymore. She asked her son to not have me over 2.) She says that i'm rude to her because when i say hi to her its like pulling teeth, but she's not very welcoming at all, and i've tried for months now. Even tried having conversations with her but she still turns on me 3.) She wishes her son would get back with his ex or date someone like her. 4.) She doesn't like that i'm not the same religion as her and her son although i believe in the same thing. 5.) She overall wants nothing to do with me and talks very bad about me to her son and daughter. Should i still text her for her birthday or just leave it alone?
mtber75 Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 I would just leave it alone for now. Go through your boyfriend on how best to deal with her? Also tell him to make her stop disrespecting you. Unless you want to take this relationship to another level (marriage), than its better to let your boyfriend deal with her.
ja123 Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 You might be damned if you do, and damned if you don't; but, I'd say a quick text/email is the safer bet, all things considered. Good Luck!
pickflicker Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 We've been dating for 2.5 years and I've been on vacation with him and his mom, twice. She does not like me at all anymore and i'll give a list of reasons why. She just started to really dislike me actually. It's so off and on with her. Sometimes she'll like me and the other times she just doesn't want me around, but now its to the extreme and I haven't done ANYTHING TO HER. Reason below: 1.) She doesn't even want me in her house anymore. She asked her son to not have me over 2.) She says that i'm rude to her because when i say hi to her its like pulling teeth, but she's not very welcoming at all, and i've tried for months now. Even tried having conversations with her but she still turns on me 3.) She wishes her son would get back with his ex or date someone like her. 4.) She doesn't like that i'm not the same religion as her and her son although i believe in the same thing. 5.) She overall wants nothing to do with me and talks very bad about me to her son and daughter. Should i still text her for her birthday or just leave it alone? And your boyfriend lets her. You know what you could do? DUMP HIM.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 No I would not. She sounds like a horrible person and she doesn't deserve your kindness. 2
Phoe Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Maybe send a e-card? I dunno, I feel like texting someone is more personal because usually people get a text instantly (or at least pretty quickly) and there's a sort of obligation to reply. If she received an e-card in her email, she'd find it at her leisure.
veggirl Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 I wouldn't. She won't care, it's not like a happy bday text will win her over or anything. And if she bitches that you didn't, well who cares, let her add that to her pathetic list. Personally I avoid associating in any way with people who are a-holes to me.
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2014 Posted April 9, 2014 Do you want to win her over? you have to kill her with kindness. At the very least send her a snail mail card. If you have the funds & really want to go for it, have flowers delivered. I am assuming she is at least my age (mid 40s) A text will not go over well, nor will a FB post. That's no effort at all. It's almost worse than doing nothing. Yes, I know she is not nice to you. But you need to lead by example. 1
nescafe1982 Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 Donnivain's post has convinced me to send a birthday card to my SO's mom later this week. OP, I think if you are committed to this guy for the long haul: 1) It doesn't matter much what she thinks of you, but 2) It's important that you are always extending nice gestures. Why? Your boyfriend needs to see it. Now, if this woman is badmouthing you to your boyfriend and he's either 1) listening to it without compliant or 2) telling you about it, that's a bigger red flag in my mind. Mothers in Law are so often threatened by the women their sons choose to date; it sucks, but it happens. What is less acceptable is you boyfriend's role in this (if he is indeed doing either/both of the above things). 1
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