lack of feelings

[DarkAngel87]

I know what I am doing is wrong. I'm just curious as to why I don't feel bad. If I feel anything, then it's remorse for not understanding. I've been with my SO for few years. I’m not promiscuous and I never cheated or had any kind of affair until now. What’s going on now is out of character for me. With all that being said I don’t feel really feel that guilty. I do love my SO and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him yet I don’t really guilty or that bad about it. Idk is it normal to feel this way, does anyone else here feel this way or felt. I’m kind of scared of my behavior right now it’s not like me at all

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Would it bother you at all if your SO were doing the same thing?

[Nattie]

Darkangel, I didn't feel an ounce of guilt for the first year. I have no idea why. Exactly one year into it I met up with MOM and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so bad I had a complete breakdown. I had LC with him for a while but eventually ended up going right back. I also never had any previous affairs, never thought in a million years that I would be in this situation.

[Speakingofwhich]

I know what I am doing is wrong. I'm just curious as to why I don't feel bad. If I feel anything, then it's remorse for not understanding. I've been with my SO for few years. I’m not promiscuous and I never cheated or had any kind of affair until now. What’s going on now is out of character for me. With all that being said I don’t feel really feel that guilty. I do love my SO and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him yet I don’t really guilty or that bad about it. Idk is it normal to feel this way, does anyone else here feel this way or felt. I’m kind of scared of my behavior right now it’s not like me at all

 

DarkAngel, you may have learned at some point in your life (childhood?) to disassociate from your feelings or your conscience in order to survive. Maybe because of some kind of abuse or something you had to endure that the only way you got through it was to shut your feelings or conscience off.

[DarkAngel87]

DarkAngel, you may have learned at some point in your life (childhood?) to disassociate from your feelings or your conscience in order to survive. Maybe because of some kind of abuse or something you had to endure that the only way you got through it was to shut your feelings or conscience off.

 

 

I had a pretty good childhood compared to some. I was raised by a single mother and I still to this day don’t know who my Bio father is he never in the picture. That probably the hardest thing I ever had to live with the fact my mother would never tell me who my Bio father is. I asked few times if so and so could be my father and she never gives me answer although I do think she know who he is. She was still a great mom she still my best friend.

 

As far abuse goes, I never really had to deal with that. Over all I am pretty emotional person.

[DarkAngel87]

Darkangel, I didn't feel an ounce of guilt for the first year. I have no idea why. Exactly one year into it I met up with MOM and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt so bad I had a complete breakdown. I had LC with him for a while but eventually ended up going right back. I also never had any previous affairs, never thought in a million years that I would be in this situation.

 

I felt guilt after the first two times we meet after that it just seemed to go away and it hasn’t come back.

 

No one ever thinks they will have affair until they do.

[AutumnMoon]

I know exactly how you feel:

 

I do feel guilt at times but no where near what I would have imagined before this ever happened. I've actually looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself why I don't feel worse.