Ashamed that I let someone under my skin

[Pearl27]

I feeling really down about myself now. I let my tough, harsh boss rattle my fragile self-confidence and even self-esteem, and now I'm feeling worthless. I'm putting myself back together and trying to breathe yoga-style to feel better, but I feel so ashamed that I have such poor confidence and self-esteem.

 

I know many people have been in this position, so my question is: how do you forgive yourself for letting people make you feel inferior? It's a weakness, and many look down at people like us. So how do you put yourself back together knowing you're not a strong person?

[SpiralOut]

 

I know many people have been in this position, so my question is: how do you forgive yourself for letting people make you feel inferior? It's a weakness, and many look down at people like us. So how do you put yourself back together knowing you're not a strong person?

 

 

 

I tell myself that it is normal for a person with low self-esteem to act this way, and that it's not my fault I am in a low place. Sometimes things happen that break us down. It might have happened so early in life we never knew any better, or maybe something bad happens later on that we suffer from. Self-compassion is important. It's okay to not be strong. It's not much fun, and it sucks, and I wish that I felt better, but it's okay for me to be this way right now. This does NOT mean I plan to stay here forever, just that this is where I am at the moment.

 

 

It has been hard for me to let go of my shame. I still have some of it. I know that people can see my insecurities, no matter how hard I try to cover them up. I tell myself that maybe I can be a role model. I can be proof that a person can change. I've already changed in certain ways. More positive changes will happen. We keep pressing forward, and that makes us stronger. The people in our lives who care about us will gain respect as they see us push through difficult things. Yes I know I shouldn't care what others think of me, but the truth is, it's VERY hard to not care what others think. I tell myself that I am finding out who my true friends really are.

 

 

When someone makes me feel inferior, I see it as a learning experience. I see it as a problem to fix: why do I care what this person thinks of me? Why did they get to me? Am I worried there might be truth to what they said? What do I really want from this person - is it to be respected, to be liked? Why do I have this need? Is it appropriate for me to want it from this person? If they yanked a bandaid off a wound, is there something I can do to heal this wound so they can't poke at it anymore?

 

 

Doing this makes me feel empowered. I hope that my rambling makes some sense.

[Pearl27]

 

When someone makes me feel inferior, I see it as a learning experience. I see it as a problem to fix: why do I care what this person thinks of me? Why did they get to me? Am I worried there might be truth to what they said? What do I really want from this person - is it to be respected, to be liked? Why do I have this need? Is it appropriate for me to want it from this person? If they yanked a bandaid off a wound, is there something I can do to heal this wound so they can't poke at it anymore?

 

 

Doing this makes me feel empowered. I hope that my rambling makes some sense.

 

I like that part the best. What do I really want from this person?

 

I guess from my boss, I really want her to work with me toward what I'd like to accomplish at work. She has to be on my team, rather than me totally on hers. I can't be her puppet. I need to do my own thing so I can accomplish what I need to do. Granted, she is demanding a lot and its a little unrealistic (many at work agree that she's too harsh), but that's what I want. Is it respect? Yeah, sort of. But that's such a broad view, so its best to break it down to that.

 

I really have a bad habit with being negative. Yes, negativity is a horribly bad habit of mine.