So most people think one night stands are okay?

[RedRobin]

I don't like ONS (or FWB), so I don't have them.

 

 

I don't like men who have ONS (or FWB)... and if they did, I especially don't like it when they are hypocritical about it.

 

 

So, men who are hypocritical about their behavior need to know that there are women who don't have ONS (and part of the theoretical target market for such guys).... who will judge them solely on the fact that they are hypocrites...

 

 

... and trust me, I have my ways of finding out if a man has those beliefs. It's not hard. It's something I've learned to sort out fairly easily... without sleeping with him BTW. They might be surprised to know that their hypocrisy is easier to sniff out than their sexual behavior.

 

 

... and since so many men still have the idea that being with lots of women actually makes them more attractive... it is the easiest thing in the world most of the time. So.... go ahead and tell me all about how you made up for lost time after your divorce (wink wink)... and how you can get a FWB anytime you want... But *I* am special since I'm not like that... and you really want a relationship with ME... lol.

 

 

Yes... keep talking... please. I am all ears... and know that I will judge you, not only for how you treat me, but how you treated others. And if you think I'm taking your word for it that you were 100% honest with those other women you had casual sex with... then think again. I've worked around all men for too long to believe that.

Edited April 10, 2014 by RedRobin

[Thomas the Red Fox]

Lol Gore, I don't know if you are aware of how pretentious you sound "giving power to women to do what they want with their bodies"

 

Okay God. Check.

 

You just made another fallacy. Care to keep raising your bar? We are now both at 2-2. If I bothered to read your other posts beyond the one I quoted, I surely could find more.

 

I am not 21 anymore. I grew up as far as FWB/ONS's go. I am 27 now.

 

Hey, if you wanna give your body up like trash, then don't be surprised when people think you smell like it.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

 

I am not 21 anymore. I grew up as far as FWB/ONS's go. I am 27 now.

 

Hey, if you wanna give your body up like trash, then don't be surprised when people think you smell like it.

 

Ahhh, yes, clearly wise beyond your years at 27. And when you're 37, you'll realize how silly it is to try and live your life based on what others think. Maybe...

[ashy555]

Wow... you had a few one night stands as well. I guess you don't respect yourself either!

 

I could turn around and tell you the exact same thing. Why would I want to date you if you just slept with me after knowing me less than 24hrs. NO self respect! DISGUSTING!

 

Hypocrite.

 

I have had all up about 3 one night stands over the past 4 years and I have a fair bit of respect for myself. Sometimes it happens. It's fun and it feels good to let go a little.

[GoreSP]

Lol Gore, I don't know if you are aware of how pretentious you sound "giving power to women to do what they want with their bodies"

 

Okay God. Check.

 

You just made another fallacy. Care to keep raising your bar? We are now both at 2-2. If I bothered to read your other posts beyond the one I quoted, I surely could find more.

 

I am not 21 anymore. I grew up as far as FWB/ONS's go. I am 27 now.

 

Hey, if you wanna give your body up like trash, then don't be surprised when people think you smell like it.

 

I love how you are assuming to know anything about my (or anyone else's for that matter) sex life...

 

But yeah, you're right. Deciding when women should and shouldn't have sex nooot pretentious at aaaaall.

My 12 year old cousin is more 'grown up' than you are.

 

As far as fallacies, we're 1-0. If you're going to call people out on 'fallacies' you should at least be able to recognize and name them

[Arieswoman]

TRF,

 

Hey, if you wanna give your body up like trash, then don't be surprised when people think you smell like it.

Well, kudos to you for telling it straight.

 

Now I know that I'm going to get flamed for this, but the double-standard is alive and well and living closer to us all than we care to think.

 

When I was first divorced I didn't have many single friends so I needed to make some to go out with. I was very naiive in those days and made some poor choices.

 

One girl I knew prided herself on being very liberated and being able to use men for her own sexual gratification. She was adept at attracting guys in pubs or clubs and then having sex with them in their cars in the car park.

 

Another girl I knew was actually "on the game"/hooker. She was the only person I knew who could go for a night out and end up with more money than she started with. On one occasion she started talking to a guy at the bar of the pub/bar we were in. After a while she came back to our table and said that she was going to get some money. I thought she was going to the ATM. She and the guy both disappeared. About 30 mins later she came back, pulled some grubby notes out of her bra and brough us all a drink. It took me a while to make 2 + 2 = 4.

 

These girls had made their own lifestyle choices, which they were entitled to do.

Guys knew about this and girl No1 was very popular. So there were always plenty of guys where she was.

The problem was that guys worked on the "birds-of-a-feather" philosophy and assumed that I operated in the same way. I got fed up with guys buying me drinks and then getting p!$$y because I wouldn't go outside with them and get involved in sex stuff.

One night some guy who bought me 2 diet cokes thought that entitled him to a bj, and whn I refused got nasty. I had to get security to throw him out.

 

After that I dropped these girls and changed my entertainment venues.

 

NB. I am not making any judgements here, just recounting my personal experiences.

[jay1983]

TRF,

 

One night some guy who bought me 2 diet cokes thought that entitled him to a bj, and whn I refused got nasty. I had to get security to throw him out.

.

 

WTF 2 diet cokes, are you serious?

 

Just when I thought I've heard it all.

[Arieswoman]

jay1983,

The first girl I described used to give it up for 2 rum and cokes. So as I wasn't as pretty as her I suppose he thought that 2 diet cokes was a fair offer for me.

There was some kind of warped logic operating I suppose.

[ascendotum]

WTF 2 diet cokes, are you serious?

 

Just when I thought I've heard it all.

 

^ lol. You'd think she would be able to spring for 2 glasses of Moet when she came back. I guess she doesn't charge all that much. Maybe this is some grungy honky tonk bar on the bad side of town.

 

I do think Arieswoman's examples of sex as being typical of ONS sex are a bit extreme. It like the anti prostitute people on here who describe brothels in Albania/Turkey/Philippines as being typical of the places men here might encounter if thy were to pay for sex.

 

As for women who have ONS = getting treated/considered like trash, that's also a huge over generalization. Not all ONS sex = blowing a guy in the car-park when drunk.

As for the double standard it does rein as much as women might hate it. A lot of the guys that women think are so cool and charming and who they have great chemistry with on the night, will think of them as just another sloot the next day. The woman wont know (maybe in the morning they might pick up on it), but generally the more arrogant guys I find have this attitude.

[GoreSP]

You know, between girls who have sex only in relationships and girls who will have sex with whoever will buy them drinks or in exchange for money, there are woman who sometimes go out, meet a cute guy and bring him home.

 

Huuuuge difference

[Haydn]

A longer time ago in the midst of being 16 and intoxicated on various amounts of falling down water i accepted a lift home from a rather stunning older woman. She pulled into a lay by and proceeded to tell that i wanted `it`. In all truth all i wanted was my bed and my mother to put a bowl down in case i vomited over her hospital corner sheets. When i refused to cooperate i was accused of being a bit of `nancy`. Which i did not get at the time. I survived and never ever get in cars with women whose earrings touch the floor.

 

But OP one night stands are probably ok, if you can stand.

[MidwestUSA]

Ah, Haydn, I never got the chance to properly apologize for that, did I?

 

So, so, so sorry!

[Haydn]

I no longer live with my mother Mid. My imbibing is now very sensible. Pick me up at 8?

 

 

Ah, Haydn, I never got the chance to properly apologize for that, did I?

 

So, so, so sorry!

[RedRobin]

Ah, Haydn, I never got the chance to properly apologize for that, did I?

 

So, so, so sorry!

 

 

ok, that was funny...

[RedRobin]

As much as I don't like ONS and men who have them... I still don't understand the logic of men who think less of women they have them with...

 

I mean... if guys want more sex, then it seems logical not to shame or piss off the group of people who are giving them sex. Correct??

 

Otherwise, please don't also complain when that same group of people obliges you to prove you want a relationship with them before sex, because that is or can be kind of a pain in the *ss too, right?

 

 

I don't consider it a pain in the *ss to wait, because I like to know what kind of jerk I may or may not be sleeping with...

 

 

Other people may feel like rolling the dice that way, and that is fine. But either way, I'm not about to put up with anyone laying all the responsibility on my shoulders for when 'appropriate' sex happens... Grow up!!

 

Seems some of you just like to complain and have problems with responsibility yourself. It is a whole lot easier to just stick to people who share your values and avoid those who don't.

[Arieswoman]

Hadyn,

 

I survived and never ever get in cars with women whose earrings touch the floor.

 

ROFL.

 

ascendotum

 

Maybe this is some grungy honky tonk bar on the bad side of town.

 

No, it was a supposedly "posh" expensive nightclub. It seems it was just some of the patrons that were grungy.

[RedRobin]

... As far as double standards go... I guess it makes sense that people who feel bad about themselves (and not terribly self-aware) are going to project that onto the other person and perhaps assume that the other person also doesn't feel good about themselves when it comes to sex.

 

 

I'd judge a guy worse for having double standards who never had a ONS than a guy who had ONS and didn't have double standards about it. Mostly because I want a guy who is self-aware.

 

 

Long story short... I consider those with double standards to be lacking in self-awareness and a whole lot more flawed than someone who had ONS....

 

 

Since self-awareness is a critical quality to have in order to sustain a healthy relationship.

[Iguanna]

Ahhh, yes, clearly wise beyond your years at 27. And when you're 37, you'll realize how silly it is to try and live your life based on what others think. Maybe...

 

It doesn't have to do with what others think. I definitely don't care about what others think about me. But my mother has raised me to have respect for myself and live with dignity. In my opinion a woman who just opens her legs to a random stranger just to take some physical pleasure shows lack of respect for herself and lack of dignity. She can spend this time to search for an appropriate and honorable man for herself. I don't judge her, I feel sorry for her. The same for a man of course, but I know men's sexual needs are more vital to be met, that's why I give them some extenuation. Someone can do whatever they want with their body indeed, but they shouldn't lose their dignity doing so. Also in my mind criticize and judge are two different things. I can criticize someone's behavior cause that's what people do but I can't judge the people for this behavior cause I'm not God.

[Iguanna]

It is a whole lot easier to just stick to people who share your values and avoid those who don't.

 

I do this but I'm being accused of being judgmental, you know?

[GoreSP]

It doesn't have to do with what others think. I definitely don't care about what others think about me. But my mother has raised me to have respect for myself and live with dignity. In my opinion a woman who just opens her legs to a random stranger just to take some physical pleasure shows lack of respect for herself and lack of dignity. She can spend this time to search for an appropriate and honorable man for herself. I don't judge her, I feel sorry for her. The same for a man of course, but I know men's sexual needs are more vital to be met, that's why I give them some extenuation. Someone can do whatever they want with their body indeed, but they shouldn't lose their dignity doing so. Also in my mind criticize and judge are two different things. I can criticize someone's behavior cause that's what people do but I can't judge the people for this behavior cause I'm not God.

 

How is recognizing your needs/desires/whatever and acting upon them NOT respecting yourself? (not 'you' you but - you know)

 

Anyways - this mentality is passé. It is simply the toned down version of 'a woman should be pure and sex outside of marriage is dirty' that has been controlling society for hundreds of years.

 

The main reason why men's 'needs are more vital to be met' is because their sexuality was not repressed for all this time. The penis and the clitoris are homologous - all the nerve endings a man has on his penis, a woman has on her clitoris.

Technically, just looking at it should get it fired up...

 

All joking aside - there is biological explanation as to why a man 'needs' are more vital to be met that a woman's. Only social reasons.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I do this but I'm being accused of being judgmental, you know?

 

You are being judgemental whether you choose to believe it or not. Believing someone carries a lack of respect for themselves and feeling sorry for them because they don't share your beliefs is passing judgement that they are morally beneath you. Not all one night stands consist of carrying a strange person home from the bar.

 

I think people who decide to wait till marriage before sex are taking a huge gamble on their future happiness as I believe sexual compatibility is a strong part of any healthy relationship. Do I condemn them and call them fools for it? Nope, I commend them for following their beliefs and wish them the best. Looking down on others for their personal choices is passing judgement.

Edited April 11, 2014 by Smthn_Like_Olivia

[Arieswoman]

SLO,

Not all one night stands consist of carrying a strange person home from the bar.

 

I believe that is true, as the girl I described in an earlier post used to do them in the car in the car park.

In the grand scheme of things I think her choice was eminently more sensible, for safety reasons, than taking them home. At least if they turned out to be some kinky psycho nutter she could scream for help.

 

I can't really think of many other permutations, maybe you can enlighten me ?

[Shepp]

I don't see the difference between a girl doing it or a dude doing it?

 

It's not something I do myself but live and let live right - if both parties know what it is and are content then why it's anyone else's business I dunno! It doesn't affect anyone else!

 

Sure, some folk do it for the wrong reasons, my fiancée probably was one of them but that's a totally different subject to the in general one night stand

[Emilia]

I don't see the difference between a girl doing it or a dude doing it?

 

It's not something I do myself but live and let live right - if both parties know what it is and are content then why it's anyone else's business I dunno! It doesn't affect anyone else!

 

Sure, some folk do it for the wrong reasons, my fiancée probably was one of them but that's a totally different subject to the in general one night stand

so you've done it?

[Shepp]

so you've done it?

 

Yeahh

 

I did make a thread a couple of days ago, but yeah! Still feels strange having to write fiancée not girlfriend though