The mind games

[ashy555]

About 3 years ago i met this one guy who turned out to be a jerk. He is nothing real special to look at but for some reason I fell for him hard. We dated for about 6 months. I was EXTREMELY naive, blind, stupid and only 20.. During that 6 months, he did nothing but play and mess with me just for for fun. I pretty much ended it and as soon as I did he turned real sour, which is a clear red flag in itself. Lesson learnt.

 

Basically a year went by and we started to speak again. By this stage we were in the same circle of friends and didn't see why we couldn't be friends. After a little while we ended up sleeping together again. By this stage I had completely unattached myself and felt absolutely nothing. I was getting over someone else. Then all of a sudden I started to feel really wild and free. I ended up sleeping with the same guy and it became a bit of a 'friends with benefits' situation. Not once though did he ask to take me out which did not bother me. He tried to play me again but it wasn't working as I felt nothing for him besides a whole lot of sexual attraction. I KNEW he would make a terrible boyfriend and do nothing but cheat and hit on all my existing friends so I was pretty content. This went on for another year.

 

It wasn't until about 4 months ago when I started seeing someone else quite seriously and he hated it. He would message me all the time. One minute he would tell me how great it is I found a nice guy.. then wanting to catch up for a drink.. then trying to talk about old times. Then he would call me over and over again with no reply. After a while he started messaging me almost every night usually drunk. Then after 3 years he actually apologized to me. I spoke to his best friend and apparently he is always emotional these days and completely obsessed over me and sick of being. His friends keep telling me how lonely he hates being single. Personally I believe he hated the fact that he didn't have the power anymore and I had completely moved on.

 

Eventually he found out it didn't work between me and the new guy. He pretty much begged to see me but i kept saying no. He called and called me and i just ignored them. At one stage he wanted to see me out the front of my house to 'chat' to me. Kept telling me he wants to get back with me. Then he tries talking dirty to me. When I asked what all this sudden interest in me was.... He replied with 'He is sick of being single'..?!??

I think I laughed out loud. This guy has absolutely NO IDEA how to treat a woman. I was literally repulsed by him.

I ended up catching up with him for a coffee one night and he insisted on picking me up and I said no as I was sure this was his way of seducing me. We hung out for about an hour till i left. Not once did he say anything about being with me. He mumbled something about relationships being scary and also being married to his job. Just charming the pants of me pretty much. He tried to kiss me at his car. Then I realised I really wanted to kiss him back and that the attraction was still there but all I could hear was 'no no no no' in my head. I turned my head, got in my car and drove off.

 

Yesterday he asked me to stay over the Easter weekend..

 

What is his deal? I was right there in front of him for THREE YEARS and not once did he try and be with me. He thought he could sleep with me and have me sucked in to his little bubble forever. As soon as I move on, I get an apology and he tells me he wants to be with me. It is like the saying 'You never know what you had till it's gone'. But I strongly believe that is BS. I think he is desperate for the power, for an ego boost. He wants me like he had me 3 years ago. Does it sound like a typical 'player' thing to do, or do you think he is genuine? At some stages i feel sorry for him as he has no idea how to get a girl and keep her as he has absolutely no respect for them. When he dates a girl, it always ends with her deleting him off facebook. I still have most guys I dated on mine. That's gotta be saying something.

[BlueIris]

 

... Personally I believe he hated the fact that he didn't have the power anymore and I had completely moved on.

 

... This guy has absolutely NO IDEA how to treat a woman. I was literally repulsed by him.

 

... Does it sound like a typical 'player' thing to do, or do you think he is genuine?

 

No, I don't think he's genuine. There's usually no point in trying to figure out why someone mistreats or disrespects you. Why doesn't matter, though we often want to know why someone is doing something. Actions are all that matter.