Bf talking to girls inappropriately on facebook and still talks to his ex

[Crraines26]

Hey there,

Sorry this is a bit long, but I could really use some answers to my relationship questions. My bf and I have been together 1 year and 4 months and all the sudden I'm starting to find all kinds of things that he's been doing and saying behind my back. He left his Facebook account signed in on his laptop while he got in the shower a few weeks ago. I was being nosey and looked through his messages and stuff. One thing I found was a conversation between him and some girl named Sharon whom he'd apparently known a long time. The convo took place a few months ago. He said to her ...."Right now I'm thinking about what I wanna do to you and how I wanna pleasure you." There were a lot of other comments to about 4 or 5 more girls that were completely innapropriate as well. Since all the stuff I found took place over the course of our relationship, I felt justified in confronting him. First of course, he flipped out on me and said I had no respect for his privacy and was extremely deffensive. Then he finally came up with some lame excuse for talking to those girls in that way. Something about me not paying enough attention to him. After all this I started to be more aware of his cell phone and what he was doing on it. I found a lot of convos between he and his most recent ex gf Crystal. He's told me since the beginning of our relationship that he's had no type of contact with her what-so-ever. When i found all the texts he finally admitted that they've been talking the whole time but that "they're just friends." I told him how all of this made me feel and he said how sorry he was and that he promised to cut off all communication with her and the other girls on FB. Since then not only have I found him talking to her and texting her, but he met up with her one weekend that I was out of town to "give her something that he still had of hers from way back when they were together"...(Yeah right) Anyways, What should I do? I wish he would do what he said he was going to do and just stop having contact with these girls, but I can't make him.....What should I do? I mean how many more chances do I give him to lie to me and do these "petty" things (as he calls them.)

[PegNosePete]

So you have found evidence that he is a cheat, a liar, he will tell you one thing and do another, he will not keep his promises, he will continue his bad behaviour even after promising to change. And then he calls lying, cheating and disrespecting you and your relationship, "petty"...

 

And you're asking what you should do?? I think you know the answer already, but don't want to face it.

 

If it were me I would kick his ass out the door so fast he'd have to come back a week later to pick up his shadow.

[veggirl]

Oh my god. You find him sexting via FB "4 OR 5 other girls" and you didn't dump him?! Why??? Why do so many women put up with **** like this. His behavior is inexcusable, and he didn't even take responsibility for it!! He blamed YOU for it!

 

He is a loser, he has no respect for you (why would he? You let him get away with whatever he wants) and he will continue to lie and cheat. These things are not "petty" and what you should DO is dump him! Do you want to spend your days wondering if your bf is talking to other girls or cheating? This guy isn't gonna change, obviously.

[atlg8r]

Yup. The only answer is to end the relationship. He doesn't respect you.

[Zahara]

I mean how many more chances do I give him to lie to me and do these "petty" things (as he calls them.)

 

The man lies and cheats on you. Is a repeat offender and you ask how many more chances?

 

This isn't about chances. This is about you having no self-respect and no self-esteem and that is why you tolerate his behavior. And worst of all, he knows it and that is why he will continue to do it.

 

The only way this stops for YOU is when you leave him.

[faithfully]

someone once told me on here, people will only treat you how you allow them.

 

He needs to go

[mammasita]

Why is he still your boyfriend????

 

It baffles me that you've found evidence and you're justifying his actions......like you can somehow recover and have a normal trusting relationship now. You can't.