Adult Attention Seekers/Braggarts

[AnneT1985]

Hi y'all

 

 

I have a question I'd love your opinions and perspectives on please. I was wondering what y'all think about or how you deal with adult attention seekers and braggarts. For example, I have an extended family member who will interrupt anyone to turn the conversation back to herself and brag. She claims she is an amazing mother whom everyone wants to know how she does it so well, has tons of friends, exercises for 3 hours a day, is an amazing musician (I asked her with genuine interest what she played and her response was "the question should be what DON'T I play?") and how she is the expert in her career and one of the best looking women in the country. One time we were at a wedding and she was not asked to give a speech but did so anyhow and instead of making it about the bride and groom she announced to everyone what she did for a living. Did the same thing at an anniversary party- announced she learned from the wife how to be such a great mom and professional who sets such a good example as a mother. She will move from person to person when someone tries to change the subject or get a word in edgewise. She takes feedback or any challenge as a personal attack and will get aggressive and rather nasty about it.

 

 

How do you deal with such people? Why do they do it and what are they looking for? Do you give them the validation they are looking for or just stay away from them as much as possible?

 

 

Thanks so much y'all! xx

Edited April 11, 2014 by AnneT1985

[BradJacobs]

How do you deal with such people? Why do they do it and what are they looking for? Do you give them the validation they are looking for or just stay away from them as much as possible?

At times with grace and others with a firm hand.

 

Who cares? They control the conversation and very few people will have the backbone to call them out on it.

 

Depends on the circumstances and the setting.

[AnneT1985]

They control the conversation and very few people will have the backbone to call them out on it.

 

 

 

I've noticed

[Thomas the Red Fox]

That's clear cut narcissism. I haven't witnessed full-blown narcissism on that level in a WHILE. It's actually rare. I would ditch her so damn fast if I were you.

[KaliLove]

Hi y'all

 

 

I have a question I'd love your opinions and perspectives on please. I was wondering what y'all think about or how you deal with adult attention seekers and braggarts. For example, I have an extended family member who will interrupt anyone to turn the conversation back to herself and brag. She claims she is an amazing mother whom everyone wants to know how she does it so well, has tons of friends, exercises for 3 hours a day, is an amazing musician (I asked her with genuine interest what she played and her response was "the question should be what DON'T I play?") and how she is the expert in her career and one of the best looking women in the country. One time we were at a wedding and she was not asked to give a speech but did so anyhow and instead of making it about the bride and groom she announced to everyone what she did for a living. Did the same thing at an anniversary party- announced she learned from the wife how to be such a great mom and professional who sets such a good example as a mother. She will move from person to person when someone tries to change the subject or get a word in edgewise. She takes feedback or any challenge as a personal attack and will get aggressive and rather nasty about it.

 

 

How do you deal with such people? Why do they do it and what are they looking for? Do you give them the validation they are looking for or just stay away from them as much as possible?

 

 

Thanks so much y'all! xx

 

You've answered your own question..they're looking for attention and validation. She is probably intensely insecure (as most narcissists are).

 

I would stay away. And next time she does it, I would just give a polite smile and then immediately turn the conversation back to the previous topic.

[KathyM]

How do you deal with such people? Why do they do it and what are they looking for? Do you give them the validation they are looking for or just stay away from them as much as possible?

 

 

Thanks so much y'all! xx

Someone who has the overblown need to monopolize the attention of others, monopolize conversations, has no interest in listening to others or any interest in the lives of others, is likely a narcissist. I do know three people offhand that would fit that description. One, a man, was always only concerned with his own needs. Never concerned himself with the needs of others. He felt his college degree and field of study was superior to others in different fields. He took no interest in others, only what they could do for him. He was a user of others, and had a sense of entitlement over others.

 

 

Then there's the woman who pouts if she cannot be the center of attention, and thinks that the world revolves around her and her schedule.

 

 

Then there's the woman who monopolizes every conversation, will not listen to any concerns of others, or gives some minimal response to others, and then turns the conversation immediately back to her. She brags constantly.

 

 

Yeah, I know the type well. In fact, I recently did some research on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The recommendation I read is that, when you find you have someone with NPD in your life, you need to evaluate what you're really getting from the relationship with that person. That person seeks constant validation/attention, and gives nothing in return. The recommendation was to cut that person out of your life, or if you have to have contact, to adjust your expectations. That person is not likely to change. You are not going to change them. You adjust your expectations that the Narcissist is not going to be someone you can talk to about your life, get any real feedback from, any support or validation. It will be all about them, and if you have to interact with them, it's suggested that you limit your contact with them. They do suck you dry and make you feel used and they give nothing in return.

 

 

As far as why people are Narcissists, there are a couple of theories on that which I am aware of. They may have had a childhood where they were spoiled rotten, gotten excessive attention or were given excessive praise for doing very little, or given the message from childhood that they were entitled to special treatment. Another theory is that, as a child or teen, they suffered a narcissistic injury, a severe blow to their self esteem, which caused a serious insecurity, and so they have the constant need/desire to remind themselves and others in an over-the-top way how special they are, and have a constant need for validation from others in an effort to compensate for the narcissistic injury that they experienced. I think both theories are valid, and narcissists come from one of the two backgrounds.

[AnneT1985]

thanks so much y'all