uongy Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 hey guys.im really going crazy with this and i need your insight here.its a bit long........sorry! im friends with a girl called julia.we have been friends for three years plus now,i first met her at a youth club that a few of my friends went to.this was a weekly thing,so i would see her every week and this happen for over a year. then something bad happened.julia and her best friend got in a real fight over the fact that julia best friend was seeing this guy.the friendship broke up and they havent spoken to her.julia also went to a different school then,so she stopped seeing us.she really hates her ex-best friend. now,i tried to stay in contact and with reasonable success.i also had broken up with my ex so i was going through alot. it was this point i was falling for her.but i stopped myself,i didnt trust my feelings and she as vulnerable.i didnt want to take advantage.so i kept it as friends. i got pissed off with her in the summer because she was always busy and never made time for me.i thought that i was wasting my time and effort on someone who never gave anything back.this was summer 2004. so it comes to december,and i started talking to her again and it was going fine.i invited her to my birthday party and i guess i fell for her again. we met up again at end of december and liked her even more. i told her how i felt in january(last month)and she told me the friendship was too important to compromise.im a little upset but i can see what she means. anyway,to the issue itself!its split into three main parts 1)i really like her still.i would challenge anyone that believes they care for her more than i do.as a person,i love her.as a friend,or as a lover,i love her.i guess that causes a few problems in itself as im not with her.the way she makes me feel drives me crazy. 2)recently(im not sure when),she sent a letter to her ex-best friend to say sorry she was silly etc.she never mentioned this to me but she did to my other friend who used to go youth club.i feel left out,maybe she just failed to mention it or something,maybe im being unreasonable here. 3)one minute,im really happy with her.next,i get annoyed with her.she text me on sunday and made me laugh loads.then the issue with the letter comes up and im angry.im angry because she never told me anything but told someone else.she claims im one of her best friends.im not sure that is the case. thanks for reading.........after all that.....any advice?i think that im going mad but these feelings are real.im really upset at the moment about the letter thing. what you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 The other friend to whom she mentioned the note, was that a female friend? If so, that explains a lot in itself. Girls will just tell other girls stuff, because they understand each other's feelings. She may not tell you, because she might think that you wouldn't understand or that you wouldn't think it was a big deal or that you really wouldn't think it was important. Let's face it, there are a LOT of times when guys talk about how women go on and on about something trivial. It's only trivial to the person who isn't involved. (Actually, we just generally think differently.) Also, you may feel somewhat "left out" because you are looking at the situation from the perspective of being a boyfriend, when she doesn't view the relationship that way. She sees you as a friend. Given the personalities of different people/friends, I might tell one friend one thing going on in my life (about car trouble) and tell another friend about something entirely different going on in my life (like sibling trouble). Link to post Share on other sites
Author uongy Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 the other friend i mentioned is my best friend who is a guy.and isnt the most sympathetic person in the world to say the least....... any thoughts now? Link to post Share on other sites
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