tigerskye Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 If a guy says he loves you and wants to marry you. Why does he wait so long to ask you? I am trying to get over the fact that I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and he says he wants to marry me but he has not asked me yet. He says he wants to be able to support me and wants it to be the right time. I mean is there every a right time? so I gues I am looking for advice on why men love someone and want to marry someone but don't ask them Link to post Share on other sites
N/A Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 As of now, I am content with my almost 2 year relationship .. I would like to marry him, but it's all the waiting game... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 My EXH asked me to marry him on the 2nd date.. hmmm.. maybe it's why we're divorced now I'm actually NOT kidding.. he really did ask that soon.. we waited a year and then got married. My most recent EXBF asked me to marry him about 4 weeks after I met him.. uh.. we were together for almost 2 years and I ended our relationship before Christmas.. interestly enough.. he STILL thought we should get married. My currant BF thinks marriage is a bad, bad, BAD THING LOL and he told me on the first date he is never getting married again. I'm okay with not getting married again.. so all good for me I guess. You've been with your guy for 3 years.. so yeah.. IF marriage is something YOU really want.. then the next time you and your man are "discussing" this issue.. IF it were me.. I would ask him why he hasn't popped that question. Link to post Share on other sites
Raggamuffin Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 If you find out the answer tell me too!!! The bf and I finally had a "serious" talk on Monday night about marriage.... we had talked generally about it before, knew we wanted to marry each other etc., but hadn't actually established a timeline or anything. I'm just finishing up my BSc and am going to be going to grad school for the next 2 years... and he wants to wait until I'm out of school to even PROPOSE. I should mention that he has a great job with awesome potential that could more than support 2 people... He is the kind of guy that won't propose just for the sake of being engaged... he'll propose when he thinks we'll be marrying in the very near future (about a year). The logical part of me totally agrees with this, but the other, more irrational, LOUDER part of me wants that ring on my finger NOW NOW NOW..... I hate the waiting game!!!!!!!!!!!! Becky Link to post Share on other sites
WalkingTall Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 You know there is an alternative for those open to it, ask him to marry you. I personally would love that from my gf, but it will never happen So its up to me and I am going to soon, because nothing in this world will make me happier! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigerskye Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by WalkingTall You know there is an alternative for those open to it, ask him to marry you. I personally would love that from my gf, but it will never happen So its up to me and I am going to soon, because nothing in this world will make me happier! I could never do that. I could never ask him. I know he does not want me doing that and plus I want him to ask me! I am an old fashion girl Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Because marriage is a lifelong commitment not to be entered into lightly. You want your heart AND your mind to be 100% sure and prepared for it. Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Hmm...let's see. My DH married for the first time after 4 months of dating. 6 months into the marriage, he was cheated on. It took him 5 years to be ready to propose to me, but he says he knows for sure that this time is it. Yeah, 5 years is a long time, but I knew it was time he needed and I didn't want to pressure him into feeling like he was making another big mistake with his life. It wasn't easy waiting that long, but I'm glad I did. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by tigerskye so I gues I am looking for advice on why men love someone and want to marry someone but don't ask them there is an old english saying about this subject: "why should a man buy the cow when he's already getting the milk for free." Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale there is an old english saying about this subject: "why should a man buy the cow when he's already getting the milk for free." :Merin hits the buzzer: He is lactose intolerent! He prefers Soy! He doesn't drink Milk, doesn't like Cows and prefer's Gingerale! While it may be true for a lot of guys that are getting laid so they're not about getting married.. I don't believe for a minute that ALL Men are of this thinking.. My EXH and I had rockin sex BEFORE we got married AND he was still all about getting married. My EXBF and I also had rockin sex and although we didn't get married.. he asked, and he wanted too. My BF now and I have rockin sex and are on the same page of not wanting marriage.. but none the less, he's good to me, has my back and cares about me.. Moo to that! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by Merin He doesn't drink Milk, doesn't like Cows and prefer's Gingerale! actually MERIN, in this old english proverb the term "milk" does not refer to sex alone. It refers to everything, i.e. female company, emotional support, sex, someone to be there 4 u, the whole kit-n-kaboodle, etc.... Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 But if a woman's not willing to be good company, emotional support, be there for him, etc., what reason would a guy have to WANT to marry her? I can't imagine that a couple would have a relationship where there's no emotional support, no companionship, and no loyalty even without marriage. I think those things are necessary to have a healthy relationship shouldn't detract in any way from getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 I think men (and many women) are waiting long periods now because there are more options available. Back in the day, you got married. That's just what you did. Today, cohabitating is socially acceptable (in most areas) and remaining unmarried for life is, for some people, a perfectly acceptable lifestyle. Additionally, the 50% divorce rate is very frightening to many people. They don't want to make the same mistake many of their parents and friends did, so they ponder the decision longer. If you are hoping to be someone's second wife, the statistics are even scarier; about 60% of second marriages don't work out. When there are children involved, about 70% of second marriages end in divorce. My intent is NOT to throw cold water on your happy relationship. I just think there's no reason to rush things and I think a 2-year engagement is pefectly acceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 well my bf wants to be finacially secure and semi-very stable. i think a lot of men are that way....that whole Provider Syndrome.... you will see it in family planning too. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Because they're afraid of the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 *raises hand I'm never getting married ever ever ever ever never ever never never never again. Once was enough. I feel so stupid looking back on my wedding pictures, which cost $6000 so I'm not throwing the damn album away. Marriage blows a hairy ballsack. Why do you need a ceremony, catering, photography, why do you need to spend as much as you would spend on a CAR on ONE FRIKKIN DAY? What a waste. of money, of time, of alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Marriage blows a hairy ballsack. Why do you need a ceremony, catering, photography, why do you need to spend as much as you would spend on a CAR on ONE FRIKKIN DAY? What a waste. of money, of time, of alcohol. B_O.... you are talking about a wedding..... a marriage is just the coming togther of two....unless you are Mormon. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by tattoomytoe B_O.... you are talking about a wedding..... a marriage is just the coming togther of two....unless you are Mormon. I don't get that. Marriage is an antiquated institution originally designed to facilitate the transfer of property (woman) between two men (father to husband). You can committ to someone for the rest of your life without getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Marriage is an antiquated institution but in the present, using present day laws on descent and distribution, not to mention various employment policies regarding fringe benefits and access to health information and other stuff, the only way legally to do certain stuff nowadays is to get married. A marriage license costs about $35 where I live. The WEDDING, now that's a different story altogether. Blowing the loot on having a helluva shindig is for most people a choice, not mandatory. I agree, it makes no sense to blow that kind of cash just to feed and booze your friends and relations. Besides, whether you like marriage or not, depending on your jurisdiction you might be considered common law husband and wife after a requisite period of time of cohabitation and holding yourselves out as such. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 Marriage is an antiquated institution but in the present, using present day laws on descent and distribution, not to mention various employment policies regarding fringe benefits and access to health information and other stuff, the only way legally to do certain stuff nowadays is to get married. A marriage license costs about $35 where I live. The WEDDING, now that's a different story altogether. Blowing the loot on having a helluva shindig is for most people a choice, not mandatory. I agree, it makes no sense to blow that kind of cash just to feed and booze your friends and relations. Besides, whether you like marriage or not, depending on your jurisdiction you might be considered common law husband and wife after a requisite period of time of cohabitation and holding yourselves out as such. Lucky. It cost me like almost $90 for a marriage license in FL. Alls I know is that my taxes were more expensive when I got married. I took a life and health insurance and annuities class and they were talking about how nowadays you can pretty much get the same benefits as if you were married, mainly because homosexual marriage is still not legally recognized many places, but you can still own joint property, be the beneficiary of a will, etc. if you aren't married. And whoever is named on the birth certificate of your kid is responsible for child support, no matter what. What are the benefits? Directly? I've been asking this question for 6 years now, both before my marriage and after my divorce. I have yet to get a straight answer. Link to post Share on other sites
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