What did I do??

[Apothecary]

So last Thursday I met up with a guy I had met the week before through a mutual friend. We were at this high-end bar and he was with coworkers and fellow colleagues. The week before when we initially met he was very flirty with me but it was a little awkward because our mutual friend has a thing for me and pretty much told all these other guys to stay away from me (lol, possessive much?). Anyway I got this guy's number and I called him on Monday and we agreed to hang out.

 

So Thursday we're at the bar hanging out, we're not being too flirty with each other or anything like that but there were signs we liked each other.

 

So it's time to leave and I wait for him parked in the parking lot. He comes in my car and we talk for a while but eventually he kissed me and we start making out.

 

YES, he is married and I called him out on it because he failed to mention it. But my mutual friend had told me so I knew he was married this whole time.

 

Now I would consider myself conservative when it comes to sex. I'm in my late 20's, only been with 1 guy (he was a bf of 2 years), only messed around with one other guy (no sex), etc. But one thing led to another in the car, we were making out french kissing, it was so hot, we were touching everywhere, windows steamed up, etc and I ended up giving him a blowjob.

 

Am I a whore? And am I crazy for wanting more with this guy? I kissed him more in my car for the hour and a half that we were in there than I ever kissed my bf in the 2 years we were together. I never thought I would do something like that ever but I was so turned on.

 

I don't even know what I'm asking, I guess I just needed somewhere to talk about this?

 

Thanks.

[cocorico]

Am I a whore? And am I crazy for wanting more with this guy? I kissed him more in my car for the hour and a half that we were in there than I ever kissed my bf in the 2 years we were together. I never thought I would do something like that ever but I was so turned on.

 

 

A whore? of course not! Unless you provided sexual services in exchange for money (and don't have a wedding certificate to legitimise the transaction) you are not a prostitute.

 

Are you crazy for wanting more? well, it depends on what you want! and what he's prepared to give. If you're wanting a parallel R with him while he remains married - a relationship that he may or may not want kept secret - he may be open to that. If you simply want the occasional make out session, or even perhaps crash hot steamy all the way sex, chances are he would happily agree. But if you're wanting a full-time, committed, monogamous relationship that involves him leaving his wife and getting divorced - he may not be so open to that suggestion. I suggest you think about exactly what it is you'd want from him, and then ask him whether or not he'd be open to that.

[Secret Advisor]

That's a scorching hot story. Sometimes our baser instincts just take over. No you are not a whore.

[Speakingofwhich]

Am I a whore? And am I crazy for wanting more with this guy? ...........

 

I don't even know what I'm asking, I guess I just needed somewhere to talk about this?

 

Thanks.

 

It sounds to me as if you're a young possibly naive woman who is being led by hormones into a swamp of probable heartache.

 

Even if you and MM don't get hurt (which isn't likely if this continues) MM's W is being hurt as this is taking energy from their marriage.

 

Understand that he loves his wife but he is having some recreational time with you that probably is meaningless to him at this point.

 

I hope you can leave this guy alone, but am concerned after reading your post that you'll go for more with him.

 

If you enjoy emotional pain, then keep seeing this guy but you might want to call ahead and reserve a room at Heartache Hotel cause you'll most likely be crashing there at some point.

[Arieswoman]

Apothecary,

No, you are not a 'whore'.

 

You are a normal woman with normal reactions/ sexual inclinations etc.

 

The problem is that you let them rip with the wrong guy.

 

Please, please, please stop this now.

 

You can still walk away and no-one will get hurt.

 

If you continue to see this guy you will be getting into a downward spiral that is hard to get out of.

 

Please, please read all the posts on LS about BS & OW and ask yourself if you really, truly want to go down this road?

 

Don't you think you deserve better than sneaky, stolen moments in a car with another woman's husband?

 

Only you can choose, and I hope you respect yourself enough to make the right choice.

[Apothecary]

I am definitely not wanting a serious relationship or for him to leave his wife for me. Honestly I barely know him! I can't explain what happened in the car, I can't even blame alcohol because I wasn't drunk at all and neither was he. I guess I really liked his kisses, lol. I never enjoyed kissing much before but he left me out of breath.

 

I guess I'm in lust. I am so down to have a casual, fun fling with him. I shouldn't because he's married but I doubt this is the first time he's done this (he said he's very picky, etc but I didn't believe him lol).

 

He texted me the next day so I'm hoping to see him again soon. I am totally nuts right? This will probably blow up in m face.

[Arieswoman]

He texted me the next day so I'm hoping to see him again soon.

 

Not a good idea.

 

I am totally nuts right?

 

Yup.

 

This will probably blow up in m face

.

 

Nothing so sure.

 

Don't say you weren't warned....

[cocorico]

I am definitely not wanting a serious relationship or for him to leave his wife for me. Honestly I barely know him! I can't explain what happened in the car, I can't even blame alcohol because I wasn't drunk at all and neither was he. I guess I really liked his kisses, lol. I never enjoyed kissing much before but he left me out of breath.

 

I guess I'm in lust. I am so down to have a casual, fun fling with him. I shouldn't because he's married but I doubt this is the first time he's done this (he said he's very picky, etc but I didn't believe him lol).

 

He texted me the next day so I'm hoping to see him again soon. I am totally nuts right? This will probably blow up in m face.

 

A casual fun fling can work if you are both able to sustain it on that level... but history is littered with stories that started out that way and then became something else because one or both fell in love.

 

I'm not saying don't do it - after all, I did, and I'm not one to pull up the ladder behind me to stop someone else enjoying what I enjoyed - but I am saying be careful. We fell in love and things worked out for us, but for many OW one person falls in love and the other doesn't and he heartbreak that follows can be very debilitating. Tread carefully, and make informed choices.

[woinlove]

The answers to your questions are no and no. You are not a whore and you are not totally nuts. Think better of yourself, value yourself, love yourself and make the choices and treat others in a way so that you feel really great about yourself!

 

The fact that you need to ask if you are a whore and totally nuts suggest you are not making choices the best choices for yourself. Best of luck in making the choices that will have you soon posting about how great you feel about your choices.

[KaliLove]

I am definitely not wanting a serious relationship or for him to leave his wife for me. Honestly I barely know him! I can't explain what happened in the car, I can't even blame alcohol because I wasn't drunk at all and neither was he. I guess I really liked his kisses, lol. I never enjoyed kissing much before but he left me out of breath.

 

I guess I'm in lust. I am so down to have a casual, fun fling with him. I shouldn't because he's married but I doubt this is the first time he's done this (he said he's very picky, etc but I didn't believe him lol).

 

He texted me the next day so I'm hoping to see him again soon. I am totally nuts right? This will probably blow up in m face.

 

You would potentially help tear his marriage apart (I won't even ask if he has kids) and compromise your own morals for a fun little fling just because you're horny?

 

There are thousands of single men out there you could have a racy fling with. Why does it have to be a married man? Even if he's done it before, that doesn't make it ok for you to get involved. Why not just go buy a vibrator instead?

 

You're setting yourself and his unsuspecting wife up for a world of hurt.

[Tiggerluvr3275]

How would you feel if you were the wife and you found out what your husband did?

[whichwayisup]

You said it, you barely know him, so why bother? It's not like you've invested tons of energy and time into him. Ignore your lust for him and tell him goodbye. Be strong and just do it. If you choose this path, be prepared for a world of heartache and pain.

[Speakingofwhich]

so I'm hoping to see him again soon. I am totally nuts right? This will probably blow up in m face.

 

well, yeah, sorry.

 

Apothecary, this is your chance to run away........run run run! it's not going to get any easier......every time you see him will make it harder to let him go......

[Betterthanthis13]

I suggest you take some time to read a bunch of threads on the infidelity and OW/OM boards on this site before you make a decision on how to proceed. This might seem harmless to you right now from your perspective but maybe hearing first hand what kind of damage can occur to all parties involved in affairs might change your mind and encourage you to protect yourself from being involved in a situation that has the potential to cause you and many other people a lot of pain in the future.

[Apothecary]

Ok, so basically everyone is saying this is a bad idea, I should stay away from him, etc etc. I know. My best friend was involved with a married man for several years so I know first-hand how painful and complicated those types of relationships are.

 

But I am SOOOOO attracted to him! I know there are plenty of single men to have fun with if that's what I want. But I never wanted a guy so badly as I wanted him that night. I have never done anything like that before and it surprised me.

 

Is it the "illicitness" of it that makes it so exciting? I have no idea...

 

Can't a married man and a single woman just have fun without complicatd feelings getting involved? Does everyone eventually fall in love?

[Apothecary]

And I asked him about his marriage. It's probably lies but he said there's something missing and he's not content and basically now it's all about his daughter (his step daughter but he loves her as his own).

 

He said he's never had a "relationship" but there were 2 times before where something was going to happen but he stopped it. He's in a profession where he's out a lot, taking out clients, etc. He is young, successful, goodlooking with a very outgoing personality. I have no doubt women throw themselves at him all the time.

[RickFox]

And I asked him about his marriage. It's probably lies but he said there's something missing and he's not content and basically now it's all about his daughter (his step daughter but he loves her as his own).

 

He said he's never had a "relationship" but there were 2 times before where something was going to happen but he stopped it. He's in a profession where he's out a lot, taking out clients, etc. He is young, successful, goodlooking with a very outgoing personality. I have no doubt women throw themselves at him all the time.

 

So you have no doubt he's a player. Well, quite simply, don't get played anymore, it happened, it's over, move on and forget this guy. Yeah, I said the same thing too, I was only here for my daughter, blah blah blah. You know what was missing, exicitment, new p***y, an ego boost. That's what was missing....and I got it and so did he. What is it you want?

[Apothecary]

So you have no doubt he's a player. Well, quite simply, don't get played anymore, it happened, it's over, move on and forget this guy. Yeah, I said the same thing too, I was only here for my daughter, blah blah blah. You know what was missing, exicitment, new p***y, an ego boost. That's what was missing....and I got it and so did he. What is it you want?

 

Honestly? Yes. I don't care if he's a player, I straight up told him I didn't believe him but I did what I did anyway. How am I being played if I know what's going on?

[Artie Lang]

you might very well be attracted to this guy, but the mere fact that he's married(technically speaking- unavailable) only heightens your desire. it's the "naughty" factor that's driving you at the moment.

 

i can already tell that you will probably end up being the OW. good luck with that.

[RickFox]

Honestly? Yes. I don't care if he's a player, I straight up told him I didn't believe him but I did what I did anyway. How am I being played if I know what's going on?

 

You're right, if you know what is going on, you're no longer being played, you're a willing participant so don't worry about anything else. Like Artie said, you'll be the OW, more than likely wanting more and then acting surprised when it doesn't work in your favor.

 

Good luck

[cocorico]

Ok, so basically everyone is saying this is a bad idea, I should stay away from him, etc etc. I know. My best friend was involved with a married man for several years so I know first-hand how painful and complicated those types of relationships are.

 

But I am SOOOOO attracted to him! I know there are plenty of single men to have fun with if that's what I want. But I never wanted a guy so badly as I wanted him that night. I have never done anything like that before and it surprised me.

 

Is it the "illicitness" of it that makes it so exciting? I have no idea...

 

Can't a married man and a single woman just have fun without complicatd feelings getting involved? Does everyone eventually fall in love?

 

It's possible. People do it all the time.

 

But the trouble is, you can't know in advance how it will turn out for you. If it's a chance you're prepared to take, go ahead. But do first make sure that you're OK with the possible consequences, and go in with your eyes open.

[Speakingofwhich]

Honestly? Yes. I don't care if he's a player, I straight up told him I didn't believe him but I did what I did anyway. How am I being played if I know what's going on?

 

You are being played by your own hormones, Apothecary.

 

You know what's going on now, but you don't know what will be going on after you see him another two or three times. There are most likely surprises in store for you in that at some point your feelings for him will kick in and then you'll be stuck.

 

The two of you have a powerful attraction to each other. From your description of him, it doesn't sound as if he's someone you're going to be able to have a fling with and walk away from.

 

You've already actually had a fling of sorts with him but you're wanting more. That's the way it will probably always be you, and possibly him, too. always wanting more.

[Apothecary]

You are being played by your own hormones, Apothecary.

 

You know what's going on now, but you don't know what will be going on after you see him another two or three times. There are most likely surprises in store for you in that at some point your feelings for him will kick in and then you'll be stuck.

 

The two of you have a powerful attraction to each other. From your description of him, it doesn't sound as if he's someone you're going to be able to have a fling with and walk away from.

 

You've already actually had a fling of sorts with him but you're wanting more. That's the way it will probably always be you, and possibly him, too. always wanting more.

 

What's wrong with that?

 

I can't see into the future, obviously. I don't know if I'll develop feelings for him beyond this intense sexual attraction. Maybe, maybe not.

 

Why can't we just take things day by day? Why can't people just have fun and enjoy each other without getting serious or dramatic?

 

I don't understand.

[cocorico]

What's wrong with that?

 

I can't see into the future, obviously. I don't know if I'll develop feelings for him beyond this intense sexual attraction. Maybe, maybe not.

 

Why can't we just take things day by day? Why can't people just have fun and enjoy each other without getting serious or dramatic?

 

I don't understand.

 

Of course you can. That's what I did. And, I enjoyed it and am pleased i did. (Although it's not a popular sentiment here).

 

But, be aware of the possible consequences, and proceed only if you're comfortable with them. Informed choices FTW.

[Allumere]

Ok, so basically everyone is saying this is a bad idea, I should stay away from him, etc etc. I know. My best friend was involved with a married man for several years so I know first-hand how painful and complicated those types of relationships are.

 

But I am SOOOOO attracted to him! I know there are plenty of single men to have fun with if that's what I want. But I never wanted a guy so badly as I wanted him that night. I have never done anything like that before and it surprised me.

 

Is it the "illicitness" of it that makes it so exciting? I have no idea...

 

Can't a married man and a single woman just have fun without complicatd feelings getting involved? Does everyone eventually fall in love?

 

I really didn't just read that! Seriously? You are naive and incredibly selfish. THIS MAN IS MARRIED. THIS MAN HAS A CHILD. So you want to be a no strings attached distraction, a little fun for this man? NO, and HELL NO. How can you look yourself in the mirror? There are numerous folks on this site that have been sucked down this rabbit hole, from OW to betrayed spouses and I don't think you have a frigging clue about what you are getting into let alone much about life. Look you want great sex, do what another LS person did, spend the money and have a mind blowing no strings attached night with an escort of your choice. Sorry I many times have a lot of empathy for folks in this situation, they made bad choices and then emotions got involved...and so the story goes, but this, this little bit of fun.....that isn't right.