ThursdayChild Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hi everyone What do you think? I have a friend named Kay who was cheating on her common law SO for some time with his friend Matt, who was also HER friend's common law SO. They all hung out together. Anyhow they had to move away together in the middle of the night, leaving their SO's behind, to a different part of the country to escape the intense animosity that followed toward both of them. Kay has denied they did anything wrong and blamed her and Matt's ex's for what happened. She lost many friends/trust as a result of the entire thing. Would you continue to be friends with this person or chalk it up to a total difference in values/morals and move on from this friendship? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Would you continue to be friends with this person or chalk it up to a total difference in values/morals and move on from this friendship? I'd move on. She lost many friends/trust as a result of the entire thing. What a surprise, not. Friends should be people who share your own philosophy on life. This so called "friend" of your has pulled a sneaky, cowardly number on her SO and help bust up another relationship in the process. To top it all she evades responsiblity for her actions by blaming he whole fiasco on someone else. IMO she is a real snake-in-the-grass.If all this blows up in her face she could well be back looking to hitch up with your guy and blaming it all on you! Who needs enemies whn you have frinds like this ? Move on and find friends that share you moral viewpoint, and know how to treat others with courtesy and respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 To me, this would depend how old everyone is. If they're in their teens, well, things are always messy during teenage years because people are constantly changing. But if they're old enough to call someone their SO, then I'm guessing they're old enough to understand what loyalty and pain are, in which case I wouldn't keep someone this cavalier with other people's feelings close. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted April 13, 2014 Author Share Posted April 13, 2014 If they're in their teens, well, things are always messy during teenage years because people are constantly changing. Definitely not teenagers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I've been in the SO's shoes who got cheated on. It seems if they're old friends, people will stick together in their group, above all else. They don't want to risk being alone and starting from scratch. Just my experience, Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I would not continue to be friends with these kind of people. But then, I probably would not be friends with these kind of people long enough to watch it blow up like this. Sorry you had to see so much ugliness, OP. I'd move on from it, and fast. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I've found people just don't care, unless it's them being lied/cheated on. Link to post Share on other sites
AnneT1985 Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Like PP's have said I'd probably not continue this friendship. While Kay didn't hurt you directly, it certainly brings to light her moral standards, fierce denial and total lack of responsibility. I have a feeling this relationship will also end, and it will not end well....and it will all blow up in their faces again unfortunately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I would also abandon the friendship. If she comes home & you bump into her, I wouldn't be openly hostile but that's about as far as I'd go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noise Electric Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Yup, casting my vote for "move on." You don't need this kind of screwed up drama in your life. Friends are usually temporary fixtures in your life anyway and it sounds like this friendship has run its course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 The woman in question betrayed her husband, and her best friend by sleeping with the best friend's husband. Not someone I'd be able to trust. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Hi everyone What do you think? I have a friend named Kay who was cheating on her common law SO for some time with his friend Matt, who was also HER friend's common law SO. They all hung out together. Anyhow they had to move away together in the middle of the night, leaving their SO's behind, to a different part of the country to escape the intense animosity that followed toward both of them. Kay has denied they did anything wrong and blamed her and Matt's ex's for what happened. She lost many friends/trust as a result of the entire thing. Would you continue to be friends with this person or chalk it up to a total difference in values/morals and move on from this friendship? Thanks! It depends on how the person treats you. I accept that not everyone views relationships the same way that I do, and that everyone has their own rules. I also know that I myself, am no angel. You have to do what is right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 I absolutely understand Kays Irrational thought process! Its a classical way to thwart the responsibility of her actions. Bravo for her in leaving in the middle of the night....Most creatures of the night are apt to not see the light of day...She is one of them. I'm sure there is a silver lining to this scenario....just having a ruff time finding it....too many people have been betrayed..... Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 The woman in question betrayed her husband, and her best friend by sleeping with the best friend's husband. Not someone I'd be able to trust. That's a good point and not one I had considered. If this "Kay" were my friend, what's to stop her from trying to insert herself into MY love life once she gets bored of her current guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 That's a good point and not one I had considered. If this "Kay" were my friend, what's to stop her from trying to insert herself into MY love life once she gets bored of her current guy? That is the fear... And reminds me of a new thread!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 (edited) Thanks everyone. Edited April 15, 2014 by ThursdayChild Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted April 15, 2014 Author Share Posted April 15, 2014 I think her goal and expectation was that they were going to move away, get married and have kids together. It's been a while and is not heading in that direction at all thus far. Link to post Share on other sites
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