"Dumper's Regret": time for a fun online poll

[startingover1028]

Originally posted by Merin

 

Both of my EX's asked for second chances.. the latest EX had probably 30 chances.. so yeah had to let go.

 

This is exactly my point... Women will put up with a lot more than men...until the bitter end... so by the time we're ready to dump... It really is way past time for ending it.

[VirginiaBob]

"This is exactly my point... Women will put up with a lot more than men...until the bitter end... so by the time we're ready to dump... It really is way past time for ending "

 

There are men who hang on way too long too. Please don't generalize.

[DinNJ]

*would hate to be dumped my Merin*

[Merin]

Originally posted by DinNJ

*would hate to be dumped my Merin*

 

 

Thank you

[clynn]

[Have you ever, as the dumper, really regretted your decision later? How often? More or less than 50% of the time? How did you feel?

 

I'm with Pocky on this one.

nope, I've never regretted a break up where I've been the dumper.

I've always been at the point by the time I've dumped that I was very clear why I was ending the relationship.

As time has passed I've regretted perhaps how I've dumped. Mostly I've been fairly decent but there have been times, with more casual relationships, where I've done the avoiding thing and just figured, they should get the picture. That really isn't very nice. But I don't actually regret the split.

 

Now, years later, after I broke up a 5 year relationship I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't have tried harder (and I tried pretty hard) - or if I am incapable of having a relationship that lasts. But the idea of ever returning to him has always made my stomach turn. Bleck.

 

 

Have you tried to get back with an ex? What made you feel like this? Was it that they became unavailable (distance, new SO) or did you just wake up one morning thinking "d***, why did I let them go?"

 

Nope, not as the dumper.

 

 

Is there a difference between men and women on this? Do girls experience dumper's regret more often? Do guys try to get back in the sack (with the ex for sex) more often?

 

From this post it kinda appears as though men regret it more.

 

I got back into the sack with my exbf. Sex, nostalgia, I dunno? That was just very soon after the break up so I think that is natural in ending a long term relationship. I moved far away after that so it made regret even less likely as the logical person I am I could see even if we were to reconcile, it couldn't work any longer because of distance.

 

Though I ask the question (of men): DO you regret the actual dumping, termination of the relationship? OR do they just feel bad / guilty about having dumped the person?

[lost_in_chgo]

you can say I'm not a quitter-but maybe I should change that about myself and jump ship sooner.

 

Yeah, me too. Best time is probably about 5 minutes after the first sexual encounter.

Seems to be the general evaluation of men, so why not live up to it?

[lost_in_chgo]

This is exactly my point... Women will put up with a lot more than men...until the bitter end... so by the time we're ready to dump... It really is way past time for ending it.

 

Don't forget the need to rationalize the decision and then defend it.

 

And that by the time the decision is made, everything that can possibly be done to prevent any chance of resolving the issue has been. And that us guys are usually unaware of the entire process and any problems until the last possible moment when we are informed that it is over.

 

Serious, psychic friends network is probably the best way to find these things out.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by lost_in_chgo

This is exactly my point... Women will put up with a lot more than men...until the bitter end... so by the time we're ready to dump... It really is way past time for ending it.

 

And that by the time the decision is made, everything that can possibly be done to prevent any chance of resolving the issue has been. And that us guys are usually unaware of the entire process and any problems until the last possible moment when we are informed that it is over.

 

Serious, psychic friends network is probably the best way to find these things out.

 

yeah well the reason for this is cause women are fairly bad communicators. THeir indirect, beat-around-the-bush, roundabout and hint hint hint way of communication is not conducive to telling their man there are some serious problems going on here.

 

If women could be more open, direct and honest with their men then there would be fewer problems in this area.

[Merin]

Originally posted by lost_in_chgo

This is exactly my point... Women will put up with a lot more than men...until the bitter end... so by the time we're ready to dump... It really is way past time for ending it.

 

Don't forget the need to rationalize the decision and then defend it.

 

And that by the time the decision is made, everything that can possibly be done to prevent any chance of resolving the issue has been. And that us guys are usually unaware of the entire process and any problems until the last possible moment when we are informed that it is over.

 

Serious, psychic friends network is probably the best way to find these things out.

 

Just for the record.. that wasn't the case in my last relationship.

 

My now EXBF knew EXACTLY what the issue(S) were waaaaaayyyy ahead of time.

He didn't need the Psychic friends network, he needed how to curb your physcotic behaviour for dummies handbook.

He was also informed several times that IF he didn't change his behaviour I was leaving.

 

Now this might not have been the typical relationship, because it really was abusive in every way.. but he can never say he didn't see it coming.. he just thought I would continue to put up with it.

[clynn]

I agree.

I'm a lousy communicator.

 

But figuring that out is half the battle...isn't it?

[Merin]

Originally posted by alphamale

yeah well the reason for this is cause women are fairly bad communicators. THeir indirect, beat-around-the-bush, roundabout and hint hint hint way of communication is not conducive to telling their man there are some serious problems going on here.

 

If women could be more open, direct and honest with their men then there would be fewer problems in this area.

 

Women are bad communicators

 

Hmm.. yeah maybe you're right Alpha.. when I told my EXBF that if he kept up his lying, cheating, hitting me, calling me names and controlling behaviour I was leaving I just wasn't direct enough

[startingover1028]

Originally posted by alphamale

yeah well the reason for this is cause women are fairly bad communicators. THeir indirect, beat-around-the-bush, roundabout and hint hint hint way of communication is not conducive .....

 

You may be right... and I think it's because women are more intuitive. We assume that because WE know what we're thinking, men should, also!

 

It's funny how you can get a group of girls together and they can all communicate terrifically... laugh at the same time... nod in agreement.... without having to say everything that's being thought.

 

Get a group of men together .... and if it isn't about sports.... all they can do is scratch their nuts and fart.

 

Major communication issues... I will admit....

[VirginiaBob]

"It's funny how you can get a group of girls together and they can all communicate terrifically... laugh at the same time... nod in agreement.... without having to say everything that's being thought."

 

yea, in-between all the cat fights, gossip, stealing thier best friends' boyfriends, and shopping, women are great communicators.

[startingover1028]

Originally posted by VirginiaBob

yea, in-between all the cat fights, gossip, stealing thier best friends' boyfriends, and shopping, women are great communicators.

 

Now, Now... Do I detect a bit of hostility?

[daphne]

Originally posted by Merin

Mostly I end up with some assclown that pisses me off for so long that it's like he wants me to dump him

 

yeah. that's my story too. i have not yet been dumped (so to speak) and have only regretted it once and briefly. I usually wait so long because i'm afraid of hurting the guy that by the time it happens we've run he relationship into the ground. although the last relationship that ended i broke up, regretted it due to lack of information (thought i had overreacted when clearly my gut was right, he was an assclown) realized holy crap i was right but he decided to bug out so he could get the last word.

 

i will never regret dumping a guy again as long as i live. i will only regret if i act like an ass to someone on the way out.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by startingover1028

You may be right... and I think it's because women are more intuitive. We assume that because WE know what we're thinking, men should, also!

 

It's funny how you can get a group of girls together and they can all communicate terrifically... laugh at the same time... nod in agreement.... without having to say everything that's being thought.

 

Get a group of men together .... and if it isn't about sports.... all they can do is scratch their nuts and fart.

 

Major communication issues... I will admit....

 

Yes, STARTINGOVER1028. Men are NOT mind readers and we don't know what women are thinking most of the time. Communication between the sexes should be clear, concise, direct, open, honest and forthright. I have met a few women in the business world who are good at this because they were taught it in business school. I mean what is the deal here, huh? Here are some typical female phrases and their decodes into real language:

 

"Oh, u don't need to get me anything for my b-day" = spend you last dime buddy!

 

"We may not be meant for each other anymore" = I'm dumping yer ass next wk

 

"Oh, I'm not attracted to your best friend" = Your best friend is HOT

 

"That outfit looks great on you girlfriend!" = I wouldn't be caught DEAD in that!

 

"I'd luv to go out, here's my #" = I wouldn't date u if u were last man on earth.

 

"I'm working in interior design" = I'm a salesperson for a curtain store.

 

"You don't need to send flowers honey" = No flowers, no sex for a month

 

jesus frikkin' christ man!

[startingover1028]

Originally posted by alphamale

"I'm working in interior design" = I'm a salesperson for a curtain store.

 

"You don't need to send flowers honey" = No flowers, no sex for a month

 

LMAO!!!!

 

 

and here are some typical men comments:

 

"I just want to be your friend." = "I want to f#ck you, without any emotional involvement."

 

"Can't we just stay home tonight... and talk?" = "I'm too cheap to take you out... let's cook hot dogs and f#ck."

 

"I'm tired." = "Blow me."

 

"I'm currently working as an entertainer." = " I wear the rat suit at Chucky-Cheese."

[alphamale]

Originally posted by startingover1028

"I'm currently working as an entertainer." = " I wear the rat suit at Chucky-Cheese."

 

Now that is genuinely funny!

[whichwayisup]

Yah, here's something I am just throwing in here to make some laugh...Freaky, yet so true. A friend emailed this to me yesterday. How ironic eh???

 

 

WORDS WOMEN USE

 

1. FINE

 

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 

2. FIVE MINUTES

 

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes If you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

3. NOTHING

 

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes.

Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine".

 

4. GO AHEAD

 

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

 

5. LOUD SIGH

 

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over

"Nothing".

 

6. THAT'S OKAY

 

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

7. THANKS

 

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

[BrainRightHeartWrong]

"Oh, u don't need to get me anything for my b-day" = spend you last dime buddy!

 

"We may not be meant for each other anymore" = I'm dumping yer ass next wk

 

"Oh, I'm not attracted to your best friend" = Your best friend is HOT

 

"That outfit looks great on you girlfriend!" = I wouldn't be caught DEAD in that!

 

"I'd luv to go out, here's my #" = I wouldn't date u if u were last man on earth.

 

"I'm working in interior design" = I'm a salesperson for a curtain store.

 

"You don't need to send flowers honey" = No flowers, no sex for a month

 

 

absolute bible AM!

 

remember what my girlfriend did to me... dumped me as my christmas present wasn't good enough ( after we agreed to not get each other anything and go on holiday instead! )

 

 

[Pocky]

Originally posted by startingover1028

 

"I'm tired." = "Blow me."

 

 

[imokurnot]

*

[lost_in_chgo]

how to curb your physcotic behaviour for dummies handbook

 

LOL. Really if there was one, I know one girl I'd mail a copy anonymously to.

[imokurnot]

Maybe we should look in to a volume discount and go in together on the book. I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of people here on the boards that have someone in mind they feel should read that book.

[Merin]

Originally posted by lost_in_chgo

how to curb your physcotic behaviour for dummies handbook

 

LOL. Really if there was one, I know one girl I'd mail a copy anonymously to.

 

 

Originally posted by imokurnot

Maybe we should look in to a volume discount and go in together on the book. I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of people here on the boards that have someone in mind they feel should read that book.