second chance?

[mandy]

i've been dating Curtis for 2 years now. i totally fell for him even though he had a daughter with an ex. he's 25 and

 

i'm 20. we moved in together last september to go to school together. he got really sick and was diagnosed with obsessive complusive disorder. he became very depressed and i stuck by him every day because i loved him dearly. since then he quite school because the program he was in was too stressful and got a job 3 hours away. i am now here alone.

 

we still are together but i guess i was not very nice to him for close to a month after his recovery. i guess i sort of blamed him for the rollar coaster life i was experiencing. he then statred to lie about where he was, what he was doing and he started to talk with a women at work. he told me he needed someone to talk to and he felt ne couldn't with me. I asked him if there was anything going on other then talk. he told me no. a week later i found a 4 page typed letter to curtis from the women.i cried so hard and he cried with me. he told me he loved me and that i was the best thing that has ever happened to him.he told me that he found the letter in his mail box and felt uncomfortable with it. he later told her up front that he didn't want anymore letters because he had a girlfriend. he told me he wants to make it work but i am having second thoughts. i konw that i was a bitch to him and that it took me a while to except that he as a daughter with an ex. but i feel betrayed becuase i have always been faithful to him emotionally and physcically. i love him but sometimes just loving someone isn't enough. mandy

[Tony T]

If you really care for this guy and you feel you can trust him fully, there's no reason to panic right now. But you do have some communicating to do with him...and you need to work out the kinks in the relationship.

 

Whatever you decide, go with your feelings. Let how you feel be your guide. You can't go wrong that way.

 

You also need to be sure he is fully recovered from his OCD. That's a tough one. If he has a relapse or if he has to take meds on a continuing basis, you'll have to talk to his doctor about how to deal with some of the aspects of the disorder.

 

You are also going to have to decide for yourself how you can resolve this separation. If it's long term, you may have to reconsider the relationship because of that. If you are lonely and he is lonely and the two of you will be apart for a long time, that's not a great way to conduct a relationship...especially if he has other ladies after him.