quietgirl Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 I suspect that my fiance is cheating and I want to catch him tonight. He's been going out a lot lately and today I heard a message on his phone from a female asking him to call her back about tomorrow night (meaning tonight). Coincidently, he told me a few days ago that he was going to play poker tonight. Funny thing is, is that he never gives me a heads up on his plan and poker is always played at our house. Also, he knows I love to play, but he says I can't because they'll be up too late. I want to follow him and see where he is going, but I'm afraid he'll catch me before I see anything. We're getting married in 6 months, we've been together for 9 years, we just bought a house 2 months ago and I have no idea what the heck is going on and I'm so scared, but I need to know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Wh t? He says you can't play cards with him because they'll be up to late? WTF!? Damn, thats something I would tell my little people NOT my SO! IMO you've been together to long to play these kind of games.. you're 6 months from getting married here and 9 years into this.. ASK HIM WTF is up!? Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 have a friend or relative come to pick you up around the same time he's leaving... tell him your going shopping or something... then when he leaves wait like 2 minutes for a car to go in b/w you guys and then follow him. if that doesnt work hide in the car!! haha just kiddin.... or if he says he's going to a buddy's house... try to get the phone # to the house and call when you know he should be there... if he isnt then you got ur answer Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by quietgirl I suspect that my fiance is cheating and I want to catch him tonight. He's been going out a lot lately and today I heard a message on his phone from a female asking him to call her back about tomorrow night (meaning tonight). Coincidently, he told me a few days ago that he was going to play poker tonight. Funny thing is, is that he never gives me a heads up on his plan and poker is always played at our house. Also, he knows I love to play, but he says I can't because they'll be up too late. I want to follow him and see where he is going, but I'm afraid he'll catch me before I see anything. We're getting married in 6 months, we've been together for 9 years, we just bought a house 2 months ago and I have no idea what the heck is going on and I'm so scared, but I need to know what to do. Borrow a friend's car and follow his a$$. Link to post Share on other sites
onlyhuman Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Borrow a friends GPS. All recent GPS's have a trace function, basicly where ever you go will leave a breadcrumb trail on the map. We use them when we go deep into the woods and can't find our way back, they are very easy to set up and use. You probably already know what's going on! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Borrow a friend's car and follow his a$$. Yes definitely!!! All I can tell you is that if you really want to find out go for it but if you are not ready do not even look. There is a saying that goes, If you do not want to find something do not look for it because you might just find it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nine Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Hi quietgirl, Here's my suggestion...don't bother. It sounds like you already have enough info to decide not to marry this guy. He won't let you be a part of all the areas of his life (playing poker). He has a woman that you don't know leaving messages on his answering machine. Those 2 things alone signify problems. It doesn't even matter if he is cheating...he is not open with you. Good Luck, Nine 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zilverenvlinder Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 quietgirl, where are you? I want to know how it went!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietgirl Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 Well, nothing happened. I feel like he set me up to see if I'm still going through his phone. This is just so unlike him that I'm thinking that's what it is. We kept arguing and I kept saying that I didn't trust him, I should have just kept my mouth shut, but I was so mad all day. He came home and felt like something wierd was going on with me and he just wanted to clear it up and he asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell him about why I'm acting as if he doesn't love me all of a sudden. He took me out to dinner and was trying to make me feel better and assured me that he loved me so much and he doesn't understand why I don't trust him. Anyway, he didn't end up going out, but he did change his password to his cell phone. I think he knows I still listen to his voice mail. If he is cheating, then he's really going to be careful now. The only thing I can do now is remain calm and wait for his phone bill to come in at the end of the month. Then I'll check what call came in at the time he got that msg and call the girl and ask her. He doesn't know I can look at his phone bill. Link to post Share on other sites
LynnStylesTN Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 wasted energy, confront him and tell and be ready with your next move , Do not take this from bad to ugy secene.. This is different than a one nite stand and he is probably playing the whole scenario out in his head already... What he has not played out is that gentle nudge at 3:00 AM after he has the white crusty stuff on his lips after that 3 hour deep sleep... then just ask him " Are you and your girl firend making future plans or is this over" This works even if you are not suspicious .. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 If the phone bill is in a joint name, you should be able to access an online invoice. Many companies are setup so that it updates every 24 hours, so you MIGHT be able to see what calls where made as recently as yesterday. Also...he changed his password?? It sounds like he DOES have something to hide. But...what are the odds that you can guess it? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I would wait until you have more evidence before you confront him. If you confront him now he can deny anything and you don't have any real proof. Just play it cool for a little while and see what he does. If he says he's going out without you don't ask suspicious or ask too many questions. But then you can try the following him plan, or better yet get someone else to follow him. That way you'll know for sure. Then if he is up to something you'll know 100% and have evidence. Link to post Share on other sites
nicole25 Posted February 10, 2005 Share Posted February 10, 2005 Ive been with my b/f off and on for about 3 1/2 years now. But lately for about the past 6 months to a year he has been talking to his ex on the phone and she has even gone as far and asked him to come over to his apartment to "watch a movie" and drink. When he told me this, I was shocked! He didnt however becuase he knew I would would be pissed (duh!!) and becuase he told me he doesnt have any feelings for her anymore. So why does he talk to her and why doesnt he just hang up? Does he enjoy talking to her? I know he has even called her up to "chat." I know she wants him back, and I have heard from some of her friends that she is extremely jealous of me that I am with him and she isnt. Except she made the mistake of cheating on him with numerous guys, which is the reason my b/f dumped her in the first place. And I know he was very hurt by what she did to him, becuase he would rant and rave about her to me all the time about what a slut and a whore she is. So I dont get it. I think he is just using me to get back at her for what she did to him. Thats not all though... Also, he is friends with one of my exes who cheated on me with 2 girls. I hate my ex with a passion and his slutty girlfriend and he KNOWS this. He tells me all the time, why dont you just forget about it and GET OVER IT!!! It happened a little over a year ago, but I cant bring myself to let it go becuase at the time he didnt give a **** how bad he hurt me. I went through 3 months of counseling and I was depressed all the time for about 6 months afterward. Reguardless, my b/f wants to be all buddy buddy with him and his girlfriend while she has grabbed my b/f's ass and has asked him out while she is dating my ex. She has told him she wants to **** him too. Nice huh? My b/f has told me all of this and he says he just pushes her away and he NEVER would do anything to hurt me. But I am doubtful about some things he tells me and hurt that he would befiriend my ex under these circumstances and he expects me to be okay with it, and just "FORGET ABOUT IT." I dont want to ruin our relationship over my ex but there becomes a point when its too much to handle.... Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
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