Dealing with an insensitive manipulative stbxw.

[headspins]

Its so crazy how you can be with someone for a good deal of time&think you know them. To find out in the end who they really are. They say there are early warning signs&looking back I think I may of seen a few, but always gave the benefit of doubt. During the course of my marriage- not sure how long after we tied the knot i learned that i was involved with a controlling, manipulating, narcasist. I am not one to have excuses; or try to E EVER justify the use of alcohol, or drugs to cope with that type of dysfunction, but thats just what i did. Although i carried that already into the relationship so, im not by any means blaming her for it to originate. Anyways, what a freaking mess.

 

 

Now that we are headed towards divorce&she's got her next husband already lined up I feel free to pretty much say anything off the top of my head. Lord knows she had no brakes when it came to that. ANYTHING that came to her she said. It didn't matter how cold&insensitive it may of been. As long as she felt satisfied&accomplished her defeating me. Today she still has the ability to manipulate, and be SO insensitive. To her, and everyone else it looks normal; but she knows I know what she does. Pathetic attempt @ being methodical as I've come to learn her ways.Today she called&left a voicemail basically informing me that she&her beau are going to Tucson& then to Chandler for Easter weekend. I have the kids up until Sun AM&she wanted to "make sure" she wouldn't be inconvienencing me?? Maybe I went in early cuz of the industry I work in. First of all if I did I surely would of told her by now. Second of all I dont think I needed to know where they were going. Was that neccesary? No! She knows im still feeling the sting&wants to make sure it lasts.

 

 

Now I am confident as I ever could be with knowing this. Her tone while leaving me the msg was so utterly fake&during the msg its evident that he was sitting next to her. HMMM? Yes, I know. Shes putting on an act for him. So fake makes me wanna puke. I told her when DoD you start caring about whether you inconvienenced me or not? That's new. She got pissed have absolutely nothing but total disgust for anyone that behaves like that. Girl, or guy. I have come to learn that you can prevent someone from leaving voicemail msgs. I will utilize that immediately&if she's bent out of shape? Oh well. She messed up.

[hurts1968]

Its so crazy how you can be with someone for a good deal of time&think you know them. To find out in the end who they really are. They say there are early warning signs&looking back I think I may of seen a few, but always gave the benefit of doubt. During the course of my marriage- not sure how long after we tied the knot i learned that i was involved with a controlling, manipulating, narcasist. I am not one to have excuses; or try to E EVER justify the use of alcohol, or drugs to cope with that type of dysfunction, but thats just what i did. Although i carried that already into the relationship so, im not by any means blaming her for it to originate. Anyways, what a freaking mess.

 

 

Now that we are headed towards divorce&she's got her next husband already lined up I feel free to pretty much say anything off the top of my head. Lord knows she had no brakes when it came to that. ANYTHING that came to her she said. It didn't matter how cold&insensitive it may of been. As long as she felt satisfied&accomplished her defeating me. Today she still has the ability to manipulate, and be SO insensitive. To her, and everyone else it looks normal; but she knows I know what she does. Pathetic attempt @ being methodical as I've come to learn her ways.Today she called&left a voicemail basically informing me that she&her beau are going to Tucson& then to Chandler for Easter weekend. I have the kids up until Sun AM&she wanted to "make sure" she wouldn't be inconvienencing me?? Maybe I went in early cuz of the industry I work in. First of all if I did I surely would of told her by now. Second of all I dont think I needed to know where they were going. Was that neccesary? No! She knows im still feeling the sting&wants to make sure it lasts.

 

 

Now I am confident as I ever could be with knowing this. Her tone while leaving me the msg was so utterly fake&during the msg its evident that he was sitting next to her. HMMM? Yes, I know. Shes putting on an act for him. So fake makes me wanna puke. I told her when DoD you start caring about whether you inconvienenced me or not? That's new. She got pissed have absolutely nothing but total disgust for anyone that behaves like that. Girl, or guy. I have come to learn that you can prevent someone from leaving voicemail msgs. I will utilize that immediately&if she's bent out of shape? Oh well. She messed up.

 

 

headspins, I don't think you don't know them....one of the other posters on here sent me a link

 

Coping With Infidelity: Understanding The "Wayward Fog" - Marriage AdvocatesMarriage Advocates

 

Tells you everything you sound like you are going through.

 

I had 15 years together, 10 years of marriage, 8 years fighting to have a baby and now a beautiful 3 YO daughter...great job, lovely home in a stunning village and what I thought was a fantastic future together!

 

And now she's gone, in the wayward fog of another relationship!

 

Don't blame everything on yourself....

[GarrusVakarian]

Its so crazy how you can be with someone for a good deal of time&think you know them. To find out in the end who they really are. They say there are early warning signs&looking back I think I may of seen a few, but always gave the benefit of doubt. During the course of my marriage- not sure how long after we tied the knot i learned that i was involved with a controlling, manipulating, narcasist. I am not one to have excuses; or try to E EVER justify the use of alcohol, or drugs to cope with that type of dysfunction, but thats just what i did. Although i carried that already into the relationship so, im not by any means blaming her for it to originate. Anyways, what a freaking mess.

 

 

Now that we are headed towards divorce&she's got her next husband already lined up I feel free to pretty much say anything off the top of my head. Lord knows she had no brakes when it came to that. ANYTHING that came to her she said. It didn't matter how cold&insensitive it may of been. As long as she felt satisfied&accomplished her defeating me. Today she still has the ability to manipulate, and be SO insensitive. To her, and everyone else it looks normal; but she knows I know what she does. Pathetic attempt @ being methodical as I've come to learn her ways.Today she called&left a voicemail basically informing me that she&her beau are going to Tucson& then to Chandler for Easter weekend. I have the kids up until Sun AM&she wanted to "make sure" she wouldn't be inconvienencing me?? Maybe I went in early cuz of the industry I work in. First of all if I did I surely would of told her by now. Second of all I dont think I needed to know where they were going. Was that neccesary? No! She knows im still feeling the sting&wants to make sure it lasts.

 

 

Now I am confident as I ever could be with knowing this. Her tone while leaving me the msg was so utterly fake&during the msg its evident that he was sitting next to her. HMMM? Yes, I know. Shes putting on an act for him. So fake makes me wanna puke. I told her when DoD you start caring about whether you inconvienenced me or not? That's new. She got pissed have absolutely nothing but total disgust for anyone that behaves like that. Girl, or guy. I have come to learn that you can prevent someone from leaving voicemail msgs. I will utilize that immediately&if she's bent out of shape? Oh well. She messed up.

 

 

Its amazing how quickly women change in the face of them having an affair. I am in a similar boat as well as Hurts. Luckily I have no kids!. But as Hurts put in a link. She sounds like she is in the affair fog. Basically OM is perfect, cant say a bad word against him. I found out my wife of two years was having an affair with a 51 year old married man. She and OM as well as destroying our marriage has destroyed a family. She doesn't seem to think anything of it. Guess nor does he for that matter. But they are both in the fog.

 

My wife comes across as totally fake when I see her. She told me we never had anything in common. Think she'd of noticed that after 10 years?. We only got together on the off-chance we could be happy. Marriage was always ****e for her. We had a few good times, but mostly bad. If we ever got together, we would both have to change who we are. Was all fog talk. But she has made her choice, I am sure your wife and mine will awaken at some point.

 

But its when that point comes, if she comes back begging. Do you want her back?.

[Onlyafterdark]

Headspins

Iam totally in the same boat as you think ive been living with a narcisist.

14 years together married 6 weve split up around 6 times each time shes tormented adding men on fb or acting like theres somone etc by walking home with a guy, i look back and i think maybe she never did anything just her cruel way to make me pay.

I can pour my heart out in txts and her replies are weird turns it all around to about her shes very insensitive aswell.

I can txt her such nice txt and all she seems to is rip my heart a bit more each time i guess im gluten for punishment, i just cant seem to let go and she knows it.

Anyone else on here share their stories about how narcissits treat you etc so i can get some understanding

[headspins]

I wanna thank you for the info Hurts& it was really informative. I find it interesting hearing from only after dark&Garrus how similar our situations are. I have come to believe that there are certain types of women out there that are purely evil.I have witnessed&been to the depths of hell with my stbx. There is a cruel, cold&hurtful way to her&she hides behind image. Being a "Christian" church going is only to make herself look like a sin free individual. Guess what? I have more respect for a drug addict that doesnt attend church, but is straightforward&will put it all on the table. Its about dignity&integrity. I feel for you Hurts cuz I am there too. My anger isn't really towards her. I believe its just there cuz I cant seem to break free of this spell; or control she still seems to have over me even after a yr of being seperated&knowing how disgusting of a person she is. I am not joking. Think about it. Women use there physicallooks to obtain essentially whatever they want. The whole premise is actually sickening if u break it down. They will suck thier stomach in, get fake boobs, lips, put globs of makeup on, even fake eyelashes. Lol. Stbx did alot. What a joke. All this to do what?

 

 

I will tell you what. In order for them to have power&be desired by many men. They make themselves available either @ the club, bar; FB, or even their own friends man. Lol. Doesnt matter. When they are on the prowl&hungry cuz they dont have someone to take care of therEby will stop @ nothing&giving up the goods is there ticket in. Once we've tasted what we want they have set the trap&we have fallen for it. Its the power of the pussy. Then when they've bleeded you of every possible resource-money, material items, ur heart, soul they've conquered. They move on to the next prey.