abusecloud7 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Here posting because I don't know where else to turn. My husband is abusive. He used to hit me, but that stopped in 2010. Now it is only emotional and verbal abuse. I really don't know how much more i can take. I cannot afford any council, if i could, I would. Everyday is a battle. He hates my 18 year old daughter with a passion. She is not really doing well as far as working towards a good job, moving out, etc, but he cannot stand her, and wants her out. He drinks at night only, which is almost two bottles of wine a night. He is very controling, and god forbid if you cross him. I don't wash the dishes much, as I don't do them right. He says i dying know how to clean them right. It is always a battle, usually we fight about my daughter, like tonight! And hair on the bathroom floor and rugs...he is crazy over picking off the hairs. Please someone talk yo me about this before i go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 You are an adult. your daughter is an adult. you CAN both leave; I'm certain you must know someone, somewhere that would take you in, even temporarily. The Council may nopt be able to help but there are organisations and womens' shelters which can. In situations such as this, there is ALWAYS a way out. always. You lament your husband is abusive, but by staying a moment longer, you essentially give him permission to continue. He cannot abuse what is not there. Leave, and file for divorce. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Why a mother would even be with a man who causes issues between mother and daughter... Leave him your bond with your daughter is more important 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Leave and take your daughter with you. Think of what you are modeling for your daughter...that it is ok to stay with an abuser. Mental and verbal abuse are no less harmful than physical and can actually leave deeper scars. There is no reason for you to stay int his situation one day more. An abuser usually doesn't change. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Your husband is very controlling and you and your daughter are suffering. I hate to think what your daughter's life must be like as she is even more vulnerable than you. For both your sakes, you need to seek help. Please contact a local women's shelter and talk to someone about this. They are experts in helping women who have become subject to controlling partners. Why are you staying with this guy? Is it because you have no income or way of finding alternative accommodation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Like Fairy Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Leave at the first opportunity. He won't change. Link to post Share on other sites
snappytomcat Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 yes I do think she needs to leave asap,but he must have some kind of hold on her,like making her think shes worthless,or nobody else would want her,as easy as it might be to some of you,that she should just get up,and leave,it really isn't that easy,i know I was in a similar situation years ago Link to post Share on other sites
Niqunar Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Please get out. My mom stayed with my abusive dad for 21 years of my life and it crippled me. Alot of people think oh yeah you can't put the blame on your parents but it affected lots of aspects of my life. I'm now 24, I'm still in college, I have low self esteem, I've had one ****ty boyfriend after another and I almost stayed with one, he didn't allow me to get my license/drive/work in my late teens so I feel behind everyone else and I can't move out just yet Link to post Share on other sites
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