Joe Joe Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Hi! Im New here, and I right now im feeling a little sad...Im 23 and my bf too. both college students. Here is my story (sorry for my english i'll try to make myself understand ). He is an old internet friend 5 years since I "know" him, we been in a relationship 3 times before but not serious like right now, its been 8 months since we decided to try a real relationship getting to know each other.. and it worked, I know about him, he knows about me.. everything, we live 4 hours aways hes in tucson and im in baja california (mexico) he is from mexico too, but far away from me, he is studing in tucson... anyway these months have been a paradise for us we love each other an help each other... i went to visit him in tucson a few months ago, i stayed 4 days with him and it was really amazing, I was really happy, my dream come true, and when we are separated he use to call me almost every day by phone eventhogh we where talking on yahoo or msn.. just to joke with me sometimes =D, he was online all day, he leave alls his messengers online (he always does that) I use to let some messages to him in the mornings just to say hello and wish him a good day and he did the same, but in november, he start to be really busy with school and works, I understand that, and sometimes i said that i was sad cause i want to talk to him a little more.. So.. then in hollydays vacation he went to mexico with his parents to spend christmas and new year, but they go to argentina those days, so i coulnt see him, he sign ups some times on msn to say hi and that he misses me,^but I miss him so much some time that i cryed a lot and start thinking bad stuffs about him like he had another girl or he was mad at me o got bored of me.. you say.. a lot of things.. and now thats he is back in tucson he doesnts go online like before, only in the nights and for 2 hours only, thats make me really sad, cause I miss him in the day a lot, when i ask him why he doesnt go online in the afternoons like before just to play with me some game or talk, he says that he is busy with school and his homeworks... I understand that, but i dnt know WHY im felling like this, thinking that he maybe boring of all my depressions, im a cry baby I cry for everything, i have an ugly past of abuse and a disfuncional familly. now the thing i found out today make me more sad i was checking my links to delete some and i went to my bfs university profile and I saw this: Looking For: Friendship Dating A Relationship Random play Interested In: Women Relationship Status: Single I was shoked! "Looking For: Friendship Dating A Relationship" what is that.!! am i not his girlfried¿ I dnt know what to think i been crying, and i cant even talk to him right now cause his not home or he dnt want to answer the phone.... i need some advice... please, am i been to extremist, is he tired of my wyning and crying for everything ¿¿ HELP! i really scare of loosing him, i know that im an insecure person that needs love always.. but i dnt know what to do... I love him so much, he says he loves me too, we have plans for spring vacations that i go with him for a week... but with this!!¿ what can i think now =( Link to post Share on other sites
Konstantine Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Perhaps his profile is just really old and he hasn't updated it in awhile? Either way though next time you talk to him, you should ask him about it. I'm in a LDR also and I know I can get paranoid too, if my boyfriend doesn't call me around the time he usually does. He works and goes to school all year round and this is the first time either of us has done an LDR like this. Somehow we have found a way to make it work and I hope you and this guy can too. The most important thing is honesty and communication, you should always talk to him about how you're feeling to avoid future problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joe Joe Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 I think we have a good comunication, maybe the problem is that I get so paranoic for everything... but about his profile.. its new he edited it 4 days ago, it says there.. yesterday in the night i ashed about that and he said it wasnt him, that some of his friend was playing there... but.... well i was expecting him to change it once I tell him about it.. but its still the same.. I'm going to trust him and let this go. I dnt want to make a storm in a glass of water. Link to post Share on other sites
WalkingTall Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Joe Joe, First off, I love that anecdote! "making a storm in a glass of water" Trust is one of the foundations of a relationship, as is communication. You are doing your part in building that foundation as best you can *KUDOS* to you. Being a guy and knowing how SOME guys are when it comes to talking to people online, I have to say that there is a pattern starting to form. I do not know too many people that give out their passwords to people - friends or otherwise - and allow them to change a profile. And then after knowing about it, not doing anything to correct the mistake, shows a lack of compassion for what you are feeling. Are you sure that was his profile? Jealousy is natural in any relationship, to a point. It can also be a guide to us, pointing out behaviors that are unsavoury to us, as long as its coupled with common sense. Take note of these behaviors, and again communicate, tell him how you are feeling about the lack of time with him. Listen to his responses, and empathize with his situation, as he should do the same with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts