How do i get over her before i do something stupid?

[blind_otter]

That was the hardest part about breaking up with my ex.....he would always ask, is this what you really want? And I would say, no. What I really want is to be able to be with you but you not hurt me any more. I want to be able to be with you and be happy and love each other and give each other what we need - and I've been trying trying trying to do that and it just doesn't work. So no, this isn't what I want to do, this is what I have to do.

 

Don't think it will be a gradual recovery. More likely, at least this is how it was with me, there were moments where it literally physically hurt for me to not call. Even considering all the sh*t he put me through, I would sit there with the phone turned off dialing his number. So, it comes in waves, each wave is smaller than the last one. But I still get the urge. The thing is the longer you go resisting that urge, the more proud you become of yourself. You get your dignity back that way.

[lostandlonely]

Originally posted by blind_otter

 

Don't think it will be a gradual recovery.

 

I know what you mean, but i think that we're essentially coming from the same place just describing it differently. I think that its getting better in that the urges to call, email, see etc. arent as strong. They're still there without a doubt, and they certainly come in waves (although now they seem to only come when im on my own and not in public anymore). But they arent as bad, and with me right now i feel that is a huge step forwards, as before it took all the self control i had not to do any of the stuff that i previously mentioned.

 

I no longer have to fight myself as hard as i did before to stop myself trying to get in touch, as i said the fact that she seems to have changed numbers means that i have no choice in the matter, but beyond that it really isnt as hard as before.

 

I suppose that just like many other relationships the tensions occur when wants and needs dont match up. I dont know what she needed from me and i'd like to know what it is that she wanted, BUT more importantly right now i need to do what is right for me, and as much as it hurts i think that i've finally realised that NC is what i need.

 

Without it im not going to get anywhere, and quite simply i cant carry on like this, something has to give.

[riff]

i know how you feel man. i just broke up with my girl on saturday, after 2 years, cause i felt i was coming in second best to her ex, and on wednesday she said that she wanted to meet him. even though she promised that she wouldnt cause she knew itd hurt me. we just gota keep our heads up, and find a better girl, one who will treet us with respect. stay safe man.

[impuls3]

Just imagine having a family for 8 years, working your a$$ off to support them just to see your wife/best friend/hope for better things to come, walk away from you saying "just stay the hell away from me. I don't respect you or anything you stand for. You don't even know who you are. I could never be happy in this relationship." Taking your two young daughters, and not speaking to you for months. Posting a profile (a very sexy one) on Match.com with two pictures that you took of her, these pictures are your favorites. One is from your wedding day and the other is on your 6th anniversary before a beautiful night of dinner and a walk on the beach.

 

She won't talk to you, trash talks you to her friends, and generally has cut you out of every part of her life and is so cruel and heartless that she called you and told you she had a boyfriend who makes her more happy than you ever could. She blows off mediation and laughs at you when you are visibly hurt by he things she does, but you know that there's a better part of this woman, and you know she withholding it from you, and no one else. Somehow you have to just get through this.

 

It's not so bad. You could be me.

 

dude..........ouch