MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 legally, it's not cheating morally? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock Why are we classifying her relationship as cheating if she was legally separated? One might classify Jmargel as a narrowminded moron with little life experience, others might classify him as a chauvanist ass while yet others think he's bang on. Mostly I find people ignore him. Now, answer the question-did your relationship separate BECAUSE of this man? Or did that happen afterward. Interested to know. I see your intellect dwindle with every post you make. YOU have the nerve to give advice on a 'cheating' situation when yourself is in a soap-opera. Sleeping with a MM, I believe. When you try to insult all that tells me is your posts have NO SUBSTANCE. It's your immaturity rearing it's ugly head again. If anyone posts their problems/situations on here, it's open for the public. If Strawberry doesn't like my advice, fine. She doesn't have to take it. I never said she did. As for you Spock, you should really grow up. You seem to have run-ins with quite a few on here. It's not me who others think as narrowminded or a moron. You might want to look into the mirror for that one. Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Sort of off topic, but: Someone asked if there were any success stories from a person who left their spouse for the other man/woman. I have one. A manager where I work left his wife and married other woman. Now, 30 years later, he's cheated on his new wife. How do you like that!? Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock And Jmargel, I'm sorry for insulting you. I can't delete it so you'll see it so if you wish to go ahead and call me a baby killing evil whore do so-but post it, don't pm it. Originally posted by jmargel I see your intellect dwindle with every post you make. YOU have the nerve to give advice on a 'cheating' situation when yourself is in a soap-opera. Sleeping with a MM, I believe. When you try to insult all that tells me is your posts have NO SUBSTANCE. It's your immaturity rearing it's ugly head again. If anyone posts their problems/situations on here, it's open for the public. If Strawberry doesn't like my advice, fine. She doesn't have to take it. I never said she did. :lmao: :lmao: ROFLMAO!!! Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Strawberry- Looking back, I'm not sure what you're original question really WAS??? If you're asking if it's like the affair never happened in his house....the odds are very much against that. He told you (yelled at you?) that he was with his family and they're working on rebuilding. Pretty straight forward answer. If his wife is aware of the affair now, then you can bet that it's WORK. It's not easy. BUT...he's obviously made his choice, and he's putting his effort into that. So worrying about that really isn't something you should let yourself do...you should be worrying more about repairing your OWN marriage far more than that. If you're asking if it's normal to think of the OM even after the affair ends....I'd say yes. But...you need to make damn sure that you're careful about HOW you do that. Don't glorify him, don't focus on him....focus on YOUR HUSBAND. Wondering if he came out of things ok from time to time...I can understand. Actively worrying about whether or not his marriage is going to work...not so good. That should be a taboo subject for you...your worry should be YOUR marriage, and YOUR husband's well-being. If you truly allow yourself to sit and ponder on his situation on a regular basis, you're going to keep yourself in the possible hope that his marriage could fail, and that he'll "come back to you". You should start by treating him like he's dead to you...because if you keep any kind of hope that what you had COULD happen again in the future, you're just hurting yourself, and seriously crippling your chance of rebuilding with your husband. What caused your seperation with your husband to begin with? What are you two doing NOW to make sure that you are both happy in your marriage NOW?? What steps have you taken to make sure that the affair is DEAD, and can't/won't happen again? If you still have him on your IM...you're still "hoping" he'll contact you. You're still witholding that little part of it from your husband. DELETE him from your life...period. If you don't...you're husband will never stand a chance, and you may as well go ahead and file for divorce now. You have made the decision to be with your husband....so now make HIM and YOUR MARRIAGE your focus....and take your eyes off the OM. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 I have a question. Do you still love your husband? You go on and on about the MM and wondering how he is, why he left, etc, etc. Your husband only seems to get a passing mention in your posts as a "friendship" and someone to go to for advice. You really haven't said much about how you feel for him. When you add that to the fact that you're carrying this other guy's child...I have to agree with one of the other posters. It sounds like you're just using him as a safety net. Honestly...do you love the guy? Because if you don't you really need to let him go and find someone else instead of adding to his troubles by raising another man's kid. Also, why are you having this guy's baby? If you're so dedicated to getting working things out with your husband, wouldn't spawning some other guy's child hinder that just a bit? I can't speak for your husband, but the idea of trying to work out a marriage while your wife is caring for the kid of the guy she was banging during the "intermission" isn't very encouraging. So yeah...you love your husband or what? This is a strange thread. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by Monday :lmao: :lmao: ROFLMAO!!! Sorry I don't accept her apologies because she is still *trying* to insult me in another thread. She has done this in the past as well. It's her way of getting attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StrawberryGirl Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Looking back, I'm not sure what you're original question really WAS??? OWL My question is this.... just wonder??? Things between my husband and I have been hard and rocky since we have been back together...but is MM and his wife some miracle couple and all that happened isn't affecting them???? The question and thoughts originally arose from a conversation my best friend and I had. She started the conversation, she asked how husband and I were doing and I told her we were taking it day by day but overall we were really good with some minor bumps in the road. She had made a comment that it must be hard on the MM and his wife and that I must be the spark of every argument and also that sex must be hard for the wife knowing the MM was with me. My thinking was the total opposite of hers. I told her that I honestly felt that they were happy with no thought of me or what went on. She said my thinking was unrealistic. I still disagreed. My best friend feels this way because she was at one time "the wife" who was betrayed and took her husband back but is now divorced. Ever since then It made me begin to think that maybe my thinking WAS unrealistic, so I decided to bring the thinking to LS for members opinions and thoughts. So really the topic wasn't about "is MM thinking of me" it is more like settling a debate between my best friends thinking and my thinking of what goes on....remember she was "the wife" at one time...... I feel bad about my decision now, why because now when I come across forums where I see soo many people hurting, peole like OWL, it makes me feel bad and by posting this forum I now know to warn people as much as I can. Maybe what I say will make people AWARE and rethink their decision to get involved w/ a MM..... OWL that is a quote from another post I have on LS, it is genuinely how I feel. Has anyone seen Butterfly Effect?? @ the end is what I wish I could do. Change it all and walk past MM on the street and be happy that I changed it, it'd be best for the both of us, however that would entail never having my 2 month old son whom I love dearly... I love my husband he has proved alot to me through this and he loves my son by MM very much, like his own! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 You can't change the past friend...you can only use it to influence the future. You've learned a lot about yourself, and about your husband. Now use that knowledge to make the best possible future you can. As far as the MM's relationship with his wife...if she's aware of the affair, I can pretty much assure you that it's not like it just "never happened". But...it is very likely that you're not a subject of everyday conversation either. And I'd be willing to bet that not everything said about you would be something that you'd like to hear either. Because, if he's being honest with her and himself, he's now seeing you in a new light...not one fogged by the affair. Not saying that you're a bad person...just that your actions then are probably now being reviewed objectively by both, if they're able to do that. In my case, yes, my wife and I talk about the affair, and the OM, probably a couple of times a week...not for an extended time...just as things come up or cross our minds. And while neither of us "bash" him like I would in the past (I've come a long way in forgiving...not totally there, but working on it)...it's not with the same rosy glow she had in her eyes when the affair first ended. Now, even SHE can see where he entered into the whole situation with intent...where there was nothing honest in his friendship with me...because he had been "interested" in my wife since they first met...well before I knew him. Don't think that they've gotten through this unscathed. Affairs leave scars. The emotional damage done by one is far more incredible than you could ever believe, unless YOU have been the one who has been betrayed. I would NEVER have thought I could be that hurt. Right now, he's (hopefully) working his butt off trying to prove to his wife that he still loves her, and that he IS still trustworthy. And hopefully...he IS still trustworthy. She's working hard to forgive him...and to work through why, how, how long, why, why, WHY...this all happened. Hope this helps you to answer your question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author StrawberryGirl Posted February 8, 2005 Author Share Posted February 8, 2005 I'd be willing to bet that not everything said about you would be something that you'd like to hear either. True very true OWL Thank you, yes she was very aware of the affair from the get go. If he didn't talk nice about his wife to me while we were seeing eachother I can't believe that he would be talking nice about me now... Thank You everyone.... Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Someone asked if there were any success stories from a person who left their spouse for the other man/woman. I have one. A manager where I work left his wife and married other woman. Now, 30 years later, he's cheated on his new wife. How do you like that!? QUOTE I dont know if i would really call that a "success", on the other hand, if it took him 30 years..... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts