ChampionSound Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 've learned so many things... Today I'm more of a man, and even my breath is different. I don't regret it. I'd rather be here, now. Still I think of her too often. Its not painful anymore though. And its not about romantic feelings. But I think love creates a kind of 'magic thinking' about the other person. I still have that for her, and it pulls at me sometimes. Its not something I want to confront even.... and I don't know how to let go more than I have. I've been dating quite a bit... and I'm happy, moving forward, growing. But its been three years and I haven't opened myself up enough to fall in love again. I feel like I have no business left with her, today. All I have to work with is all within myself.... but she still has this presence in my life, even in absence. It's there in the choices I make, and in the things I can't control. It scares me and I think that is what I have to work on overcoming. Does this connection go away with time? Would counselling be worthwhile at this point? Can anyone relate? Thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
SilentPrayer Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Dude, I can totally relate. Thats exactly how I feel about the X of mine. I get influenced by him even though he is not here himself to say anything to me. I make choices and sometimes I catch myself thinking of what he would say or think. What he would tell me to do,like "think it through babe, etc whatever". Its something Ive thought of getting help for as well. I dont know why I havent let go, I wish I did. So that I can figure out how to use it, how to take care of myself better. Anyways I can relate~ Cone~ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChampionSound Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 Hey Silent....... cool, thanks for that... I wanted to share a poem that I think relates to this: http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Love_after_Love.html I don't know, its such a contradiction. In some ways I don't even know who she is today, but my heart can jump out of its skin if I see someone that resembles her from the corner of my eye. Is that wrong? And I've come so far in letting go... I am working to love myself, love the most high, and to build my community. Anyway y'all must think i'm crazy for talking about someone from 3 years ago like this. And its not a major focus in my life, but rather a minor influence on many things that I experience. Nah, everything is gonna be ok. We're all the culmination of our experiences right? Link to post Share on other sites
SilentPrayer Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Well I like it the poem , I am on my way to getting over him. I started seeing other people. Ive taken him out of my life. Its hard because I know so many people that know him as well. It is hard on days where I see his good friends, or his family. I know they may think im a snobb but really the only reason why I dont say nothing to them is because I am reminded and it hurts when I walk away from chatting with them, my mind gets stuck on him for hours. I am totally on the road to having fun, Im young, not bad looking, smart and I am faithfull to anyone I date. I got allot going, why should I be inlove with a "memory"? Ide rather something "real" that can give love back, btw your not crazy. You were just inlove. Link to post Share on other sites
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