How big was your wedding?

[jenkruger]

My fiance and I were were able to just give our venue a range of our total guest count and have a few months to decide who to invite. However, our deadline is fast approaching and we have to let the venue know our minimum. We gave a large range of 80 to 120 people. My fiance and I are going back and forth on whether we want a smaller wedding of 80 or a larger one of 120.

 

Has anyone here felt strongly about a small or large wedding? 80 would just be our families alone, which is small and intimate...OR 120 includes most of our close friends. I'm afraid of offending some friends if I only invite a few and not others...

[MuddyFootprints]

32. The only friends we invited were our witnesses (there were a couple who crashed, lol). We had a party with just the friends before we got married.

 

I wouldn't do it any other way. Yes, there were a few who were offended. They got over it.

[Smilecharmer]

I would do it on a beach by ourselves if I could do it over. It was big and unenjoyable. Elope. You are throwing a party for everyone else and you will barely remember any of it.

[CarrieT]

I had three:

 

1. Courthouse wedding with eight people total, including us.

2. A family wedding three weeks later with 21 people, mostly the groom's family and two of my friends, held on the East Coast.

3. A West Coast reception for 60 to 70 that I catered myself (I went to cooking school).

 

I suppose if it had been possible to have EVERYONE we wanted in one place and one time, it would have been about 100, but by having separate events, we were able to spend more quality time with all involved and it was ultimately far less stressful in the long run.

[pink_sugar]

We had between 50-60 people...it was a modest size...though it was a lot of my husband's relatives and friends of his parents (my familial circle is really small). We were broke college students at the time, so if we could go back, we would have had limited it to close friends and relatives only and spent more money on a honeymoon. Reducing your wedding really cuts down costs...all that thousands of dollars spent is over within hours anyways...better to spend it on a honeymoon. Not to mention we had limited time, which was rushed with making sure we talked to each guest and handed out favors. We barely even had enough time to enjoy our meal during our reception.

Edited April 18, 2014 by pink_sugar

[jenkruger]

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I'm starting to see that having a smaller wedding is much less stressful and budget-friendly than a bigger one. My only concern is excluding some friends who might feel offended. I think we will go with an 80 head min and can always invite more if we like....

[Candy_Pants]

Courthouse wedding. Total of 5 people. The most expensive thing was my dress ($200). I made my own veil .

[Krytie TV]

Got married in City Hall. All by ourselves (and the other 60 ppl getting married). We threw a party at our house the next night. Completely stress free, except for the marriage license fiasco. I wouldn't change a thing about it, and it only cost about $45.

[SJS]

I would do it on a beach by ourselves if I could do it over. It was big and unenjoyable. Elope. You are throwing a party for everyone else and you will barely remember any of it.

We did this. The 2 of us, 2 witnesses, and the minister on the beach. Loved it! Honeymoon started immediately too. Had the party with friends & family when we got home.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Our wedding is this fall. We're inviting around 250; expecting 220-ish.

[Tayla]

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! You sound joyful to be planning and being considerate of your guest. That is kind. My daughter in law said for her choice of guest, family was a given, friends were a plus. They had about 70 in all and that was more then enough since the venue was quaint. Its really about who do you and your spouse see as life long people verses those that will come for the food and rarely be in your lives. My wedding was city hall.?

[jenkruger]

thanks for the feedback! i've already learned so much from people who've planned a wedding....or two

[d0nnivain]

We had a 3-ring circus. DH & I wanted small & intimate. My parents wanted lavish.

 

 

The Golden Rule always prevails at weddings: He who has the Gold makes the rules.

 

 

We had 350 people. Then again I'm a social butterfly & used to "working a room." Even with that large of a crowd, all of our guests have told us over the years that they marveled at the way we pulled it off & made each guest feel special. The fact that we managed to do that is one of the accomplishments in my life I am most proud of.

 

 

Remember, the most important part is you & your FI and your vows. The rest is all over-priced trimming.

Edited April 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[devilish innocent]

I think you should let the guest list determine the number rather than letting the number determine the guest list. That is if you feel somebody is meaningful to your life than invite them. If they're not, then don't. If it means you end up to 80, then invite 80. If it means you end up at 120, then invite 120.

 

As far as people feeling hurt that they were cut out, that can happen regardless of whatever number you invite. You say you're thinking of doing family only to avoid any friends feeling left out. I don't think that method can protect you from making sure nobody's hurt. I've heard stories from people who were very upset because their best friend was getting married, and they were left out because it was "family only". It really doesn't make sense to leave out somebody who's like a sister to you just because they're not technically family.

 

There's always going to be some cut-off point regardless of whatever arbitrary rules you've set. You kind of have to live with it. Do your best to use common sense to figure out when it's just plain rude to leave a particular person out, but let the chips fall where they may beyond that.

[KathyM]

I had about 130 guests at my wedding. I had a big church wedding, a summer evening wedding, in the church that I had attended all my life. It was a formal wedding, with gowns, tuxes, candlelight, and formal decorations, and an elaborate catered dinner to follow. After the dinner was a dance, which was a lot of fun. We had a champaign toast, and did all the rituals that come with that type of wedding. It was very memorable, and enjoyable to plan. We had a three week honeymoon in Europe after that, and traveled to my husband's home country and surrounding countries. That was very memorable also. We didn't have much money since we were both college students at the time, but my parents paid for the wedding, and my husband had saved enough from his part-time job to give us a very memorable honeymoon.

[jackieblack07]

My wedding was not that big because we dint not had that much budget, So we tried to save money as much as possible we had a family friend that took our wedding picture plus my best friend Claudia did the make up for me, we did not had the budget to purchase chair covers and centerpieces so we rented them which were really great and got along within our budget ,As we had really limited number of guest been invited so a better planning helped us a lot in making it simple.

Edited April 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[stillafool]

First time - 300 people. The marriage lasted 1-1/2 years - Lots of stress

 

Second Time - 2 people in Vegas (me and the groom) So much fun - Married 17 years and still going strong.

[Junkshakemail]

Our wedding is next month and its about 1100 people. Let's just say its a cultural thing.. Lol

[Michelle ma Belle]

When I got married in 1993, I did the whole big fairy tale wedding with all the bells and whistle. The stuff little girls dreamed of doing one day when they met their prince charming. As far as size, we trimmed it down to 400 people but could have double that number easily.

 

And like drax1289 said, it was more of a cultural thing. My ex and I came from very big Italian families and it was customary to invite people WE never even met before because they invited our parents to their kids wedding at one point.

 

Our marriage lasted 16 years before we called it quits.

 

It's funny because there were 6 couples that were all friends who got married that same year. All but one couple have split up. Maybe 1993 was a bad omen or something :/

 

Of course, IF I were to do it all over, I'd do it VERY differently.

 

Congratulations and good luck!

[central]

First marriage, 10 people, including us and officiant.

 

Second marriage, 6 people.

[jbelle6]

Me and ex had between 100 and 120.

If I ever do it again I want just me and the groom.

[cerridwen]

This is the first time I've heard 80 people described as small and intimate.

Your family is obviously massive.

 

My first wedding was tiny by comparison.

35 people.

It was in winter and the place had tons of candles, jewel tones and dancing.

I loved it and so did guests.

It was very low stress.

Highly recommend lower numbers.

 

My upcoming weddings are turning out to be logistical headaches.

 

Our England wedding will have 50-60 guests over a three day period.

Then we're having another celebration of 60-80 guests in California.

It's exhausting!

At this point, I feel like staying home and Skyping into the ceremonies. -_-

Edited June 18, 2014 by cerridwen

[Emilia]

Our England wedding will have 50-60 guests over a three day period.

Then we're having another celebration of 60-80 guests in California.

It's exhausting!

At this point, I feel like staying home and Skyping into the ceremonies. -_-

Is there going to be much of a time gap between the two?

[Eternal Sunshine]

This is the first time I've heard 80 people described as small and intimate.

Your family is obviously massive.

 

My first wedding was tiny by comparison.

35 people.

It was in winter and the place had tons of candles, jewel tones and dancing.

I loved it and so did guests.

It was very low stress.

Highly recommend lower numbers.

 

My upcoming weddings are turning out to be logistical headaches.

 

Our England wedding will have 50-60 guests over a three day period.

Then we're having another celebration of 60-80 guests in California.

It's exhausting!

At this point, I feel like staying home and Skyping into the ceremonies. -_-

 

If I ever get married the bolded would be my ideal.

 

Good luck Cerri!

[jenkruger]

This is the first time I've heard 80 people described as small and intimate.

Your family is obviously massive.

 

My first wedding was tiny by comparison.

35 people.

It was in winter and the place had tons of candles, jewel tones and dancing.

I loved it and so did guests.

It was very low stress.

Highly recommend lower numbers.

 

My upcoming weddings are turning out to be logistical headaches.

 

Our England wedding will have 50-60 guests over a three day period.

Then we're having another celebration of 60-80 guests in California.

It's exhausting!

At this point, I feel like staying home and Skyping into the ceremonies. -_-

 

Isnt it crazy??? I would personally consider 80 as a decent size but in the "wedding-world", it's considered "small and intimate"! I've been to many weddings where the guest count easily exceeded 100+.