torn (him & everything)

[Sara]

Hi I moved to Chicago 8 months ago now to be with someone I met and fell in love with over the internet. I haven't seen my family since I left, and I miss them alot. My boyfriend and I live with his parents. I am getting pretty tired of living here, but niether one of us have a car or driver's lisence. I'm working on getting mine. Anyway, I want to move back home, to live around my family, he doesn't want to move there because there isn't enough work for him there. I am forced to choose between him and everyhting else in my life, I gave all of it up 8 months ago. I can't deside if he is enough,I love him and don't want to loose him, but here he is all I have. Please help with some advise of any kind. Thank You

[sparkle]

Dear Sara,

 

One question: How old are you two??

 

I would give you some advice, but you've already said it yourself. Read below:

 

"I haven't seen my family since I left, and I miss them alot."

 

"I am getting pretty tired of living here"

 

"I want to move back home, to live around my family"

 

"I can't deside if he is enough"

 

Sara, all these quotes were written by you. You know what the best thing to do is. You miss your family, you want to go back home. If you are in your teens, going back home to your family could be by far the best decision you could make right now. I'm sure they miss you very much also.

 

How much do you love this guy? How much does your family mean to you? Are you willing to sacrifice the relationship with your family (who you've known for a lifetime) for a guy that you've known 8 months?

 

Whatever you choose to do, weigh your options. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' thing to do here. Both choices have their advantages as well as their disadvantages. Compare them and see which one will make you happier. And then follow your heart.

 

One more thing, if this guy truly loves you, he'll have NO objections about you moving back near your parents.

 

Good luck! How old are you by the way?

[Tony T]

Love is never enough. Now that you've had eight months of it, the practical side of your brain is kicking in and realizing you seem to be the only one willing to make sacrifices, and very major ones, for the sake of this relationship.

 

His excuse that there are no jobs for him in your area is pretty lame. How do all the other people in your town seem to get by OK.

 

In situations like this, one person usually moves to where the other is, which is what you did. Usually, the living conditions are different and the love generated by the togetherness helps it along. But living with his parents and being without a car has made it pretty difficult on you especially.

 

If you move back home with your family, you could wait some time until both of you can afford to get a place on your own. You could spend valuable time with your family that you will never get again once you are married or they are gone.

 

If your parents will welcome you back, it sounds like you would be much happier at home. You have to remember, though, the reasons you moved to be with him. If you move back home you will be separated from him. Further, I seriously doubt knowing what you know now about the practicality of moving together at this point in time that the relationship could go on for any significant length of time.

 

In other words, if you move back home, you ought to be prepared to have this relationship cease in favor of a more realistic one with someone who is geographically and otherwise more compatible.

[Sandy]

Do what is right for you and your happiness, if he loves you, he will make it his business to come to you , if not your better off that it ends now . No one should sacrifice all happiness for the other it just never works and it is very unhealthy for the one doing the sacrificing.

 

Come to a compromise togeather that you both can live with or move on .