Would you date someone who has knowingly been the other man/woman?

[Under The Radar]

This discussion is interesting.

 

 

I respect everyone's viewpoints on the subject matter and agree that cheating is wrong.

 

 

A Story:

 

I had a very special male friend for most of my life. We grew up together and considered each other family - like brothers. I looked up to him a lot and he was always there for me ...... year after year. He was the type of guy everybody wanted to be friends with ...... good looking, intelligent, athletic, nice physique, charismatic, ambitious, philanthropic, and the list goes on and on.

 

 

When I was an OM he was the only person that knew. He was very unhappy about it and candidly told me so. He would tell me I was throwing my life away on the MW (who was my senior by 23 years). I was young, inexperienced, immature, lonely, and naïve. I covered the history in a past thread(s) a while back. Needless to say my involvement with a married woman was wrong and it took me MANY years to forgive myself.

 

 

I was best man at my friend's wedding; he married his college sweetheart. He had never been intimate with anyone else before he married her. They were very much in love and wanted to have children.

 

 

It turned out they were unable to conceive; they spent years trying. Eventually, after in vitro fertilization failed, they ultimately decided to adopt. The adoption process was painstakingly slow and riddled with complications. Many times, over a period of years, they were told a baby was to become available ...... only to have a withdrawal at the last minute by the agency or the biological mother. The process created much stress and I saw my friend become depressed for the first time in his life.

 

 

After several years my friend and his wife received a successful adoption. Unfortunately, their marriage (unbeknownst to me at that time) was on shaky ground. He told me about his marriage problems one evening while we were alone. Though I don't drink alcohol, he was pretty inebriated when he began to confide in me.

 

 

He said that he and his wife were rarely intimate anymore. Not just sex, but cuddling, holding hands, and spending quality time together. In fact, he said the only time she would be intimate with him was on expensive vacations he'd plan to reignite romance to the relationship. As soon as they would come back home the same scenario would play out over and over again ...... amounting to several years of routine non affection from her. Whenever he'd approach her, to communicate about the problem, she would say everything is fine and that she was still attracted to him. Then, moving forward, nothing would change.

 

 

So the evening he disclosed the problems in his marriage to me was the same evening he told me about a woman he had met on AshleyMadison.Com ...... a website I had no clue existed until he mentioned this; needless to say, I was shocked. He reported that he had not actually had sex with this woman yet (who was married with two small children), but it was clear they had met several times. He said he didn't think he could go through with it, but wanted my advice nonetheless ...... I told him not to do it. It was clear to me both he and his wife were suffering a great deal. I explained that once you cross that line there is no going back ...... and if his wife found out ...... it would devastate her.

 

 

Several days later, I contacted him to reiterate, when he was sober, my feelings on the matter ...... DON'T DO IT!!! I could tell he regretted telling me anything about marriage problems and a likely affair. He kept stating he was drunk at the time and his marriage was perfectly fine. He agreed with my help to seek MC and I got him the contact information for an excellent therapist in our city. Our deal, if I was to help him, was work on the marriage or get divorced. Do not seek MC and begin and/or cultivate affairs with other women.

 

 

Long story short, the MC wasn't working fast enough, and he resorted to that god awful website again (I really hate AshleyMadison.com). He stopped returning my phone calls or inviting me to do things with them. He looked horribly uncomfortable the one time I was in the same room with both he and his wife (his grandma's funeral). I had this sensitive information and it was clear he didn't want me around her. Our friendship died, in large part because of this, about 3 years ago.

 

 

I feel badly for both of them. I feel badly that my dear friend ...... my brother ...... has disappeared. He knows I disagree with his actions and do not condone what happened. My friend, who always tried to chastise me when I was the OM, became an OM himself. It was crazy because he was ALWAYS the voice of reason. He was ALWAYS a class act and well respected. In fact, Grump's posting style reminds me of my friend a lot. He was THAT kind of guy and it wasn't a front.

 

 

So, is my friend a "Bad" person? Is he completely without character? Was the guy I loved and knew for all of these years a fake? I honestly don't think so. He ****ed up ...... big time, but I know he is a good person. I suspect he had more than one affair off of that website ...... but I don't know. I miss him, but I'm unlikely to ever hear from him again. I know he regrets telling me about his marriage problems and subsequent extra- marital "activities". I don't excuse any of his behavior and what he did is wrong, but I understand how a good person can do bad things.

 

 

I hope, in the future, he is able to learn, grow, be honest and ultimately repent for his betrayal ...... I know I did ...... so I can only hope.

Edited April 19, 2014 by Training Revelations

[joystickd]

 

Personally I see that behavior to be almost just as bad as the person in the relationship. Its still very selfish to knowingly sleep with someone whos got a mate or try to steal that person away.

It's not stealing if you are taking someone that wants to leave. I've been an OM. I've actually talked about it on here some. There are male users on here that see me as scum because of it. I know for me I was a late bloomer and honestly that was the only success I had with women for a while. Then usually it was huge ego boost for me. Usually the boyfriend or husband of these women reminded me so much of guy when I was in high school or college that got all the females and gave me a hard time about my struggles with women. I'm not like these women and scream the past is the past and date me for who I am now. I'm honest about having been an OM a few times and if they reject me it's ok. I'm not going to cry about being judged because I was an OM.

 

The crazy thing about it is that I learned a lot more about women and attraction being an OM than trying to pursue single women.

[kaylan]

That's exactly what OW/OM™ so often do when they really haven't moved on in the slightest. They minimize their own active role in their affair by focusing on the obvious culpability of a wayward married spouse instead of reflecting on their own actions. There's simply no room for self-examination within this rhetoric. It quite frankly doesn't matter what the wayward spouse did or said. From of the point of view of an OW/OM, anything they've been told is irrelevant because they're free to pursue what is best for themselves. Should anyone discover they've been lied to, and that a new date is secretly married, then they can easily choose to move on immediately. Just because a wayward spouse wants an affair to happen doesn't mean that he can do or say anything to force it to happen. - That's called rape and not an affair.

 

You're not crazy Raena but I think you should take the time to consider what empowerment means to you. What you've said isn't entirely grounded in reality.

lmao at the trademark sign you added to othermen/otherwomen

It's not stealing if you are taking someone that wants to leave. I've been an OM. I've actually talked about it on here some. There are male users on here that see me as scum because of it. I know for me I was a late bloomer and honestly that was the only success I had with women for a while. Then usually it was huge ego boost for me. Usually the boyfriend or husband of these women reminded me so much of guy when I was in high school or college that got all the females and gave me a hard time about my struggles with women. I'm not like these women and scream the past is the past and date me for who I am now. I'm honest about having been an OM a few times and if they reject me it's ok. I'm not going to cry about being judged because I was an OM.

 

The crazy thing about it is that I learned a lot more about women and attraction being an OM than trying to pursue single women.

I didnt say anything about steal....I said such behavior is selfish and many see it as low quality trait in a potential mate.

Edited April 19, 2014 by kaylan

[janedoe67]

This discussion is interesting.

 

 

I respect everyone's viewpoints on the subject matter and agree that cheating is wrong.

 

 

A Story:

 

I had a very special male friend for most of my life. We grew up together and considered each other family - like brothers. I looked up to him a lot and he was always there for me ...... year after year. He was the type of guy everybody wanted to be friends with ...... good looking, intelligent, athletic, nice physique, charismatic, ambitious, philanthropic, and the list goes on and on.

 

 

When I was an OM he was the only person that knew. He was very unhappy about it and candidly told me so. He would tell me I was throwing my life away on the MW (who was my senior by 23 years). I was young, inexperienced, immature, lonely, and naïve. I covered the history in a past thread(s) a while back. Needless to say my involvement with a married woman was wrong and it took me MANY years to forgive myself.

 

 

I was best man at my friend's wedding; he married his college sweetheart. He had never been intimate with anyone else before he married her. They were very much in love and wanted to have children.

 

 

It turned out they were unable to conceive; they spent years trying. Eventually, after in vitro fertilization failed, they ultimately decided to adopt. The adoption process was painstakingly slow and riddled with complications. Many times, over a period of years, they were told a baby was to become available ...... only to have a withdrawal at the last minute by the agency or the biological mother. The process created much stress and I saw my friend become depressed for the first time in his life.

 

 

After several years my friend and his wife received a successful adoption. Unfortunately, their marriage (unbeknownst to me at that time) was on shaky ground. He told me about his marriage problems one evening while we were alone. Though I don't drink alcohol, he was pretty inebriated when he began to confide in me.

 

 

He said that he and his wife were rarely intimate anymore. Not just sex, but cuddling, holding hands, and spending quality time together. In fact, he said the only time she would be intimate with him was on expensive vacations he'd plan to reignite romance to the relationship. As soon as they would come back home the same scenario would play out over and over again ...... amounting to several years of routine non affection from her. Whenever he'd approach her, to communicate about the problem, she would say everything is fine and that she was still attracted to him. Then, moving forward, nothing would change.

 

 

So the evening he disclosed the problems in his marriage to me was the same evening he told me about a woman he had met on AshleyMadison.Com ...... a website I had no clue existed until he mentioned this; needless to say, I was shocked. He reported that he had not actually had sex with this woman yet (who was married with two small children), but it was clear they had met several times. He said he didn't think he could go through with it, but wanted my advice nonetheless ...... I told him not to do it. It was clear to me both he and his wife were suffering a great deal. I explained that once you cross that line there is no going back ...... and if his wife found out ...... it would devastate her.

 

 

Several days later, I contacted him to reiterate, when he was sober, my feelings on the matter ...... DON'T DO IT!!! I could tell he regretted telling me anything about marriage problems and a likely affair. He kept stating he was drunk at the time and his marriage was perfectly fine. He agreed with my help to seek MC and I got him the contact information for an excellent therapist in our city. Our deal, if I was to help him, was work on the marriage or get divorced. Do not seek MC and begin and/or cultivate affairs with other women.

 

 

Long story short, the MC wasn't working fast enough, and he resorted to that god awful website again (I really hate AshleyMadison.com). He stopped returning my phone calls or inviting me to do things with them. He looked horribly uncomfortable the one time I was in the same room with both he and his wife (his grandma's funeral). I had this sensitive information and it was clear he didn't want me around her. Our friendship died, in large part because of this, about 3 years ago.

 

 

I feel badly for both of them. I feel badly that my dear friend ...... my brother ...... has disappeared. He knows I disagree with his actions and do not condone what happened. My friend, who always tried to chastise me when I was the OM, became an OM himself. It was crazy because he was ALWAYS the voice of reason. He was ALWAYS a class act and well respected. In fact, Grump's posting style reminds me of my friend a lot. He was THAT kind of guy and it wasn't a front.

 

 

So, is my friend a "Bad" person? Is he completely without character? Was the guy I loved and knew for all of these years a fake? I honestly don't think so. He ****ed up ...... big time, but I know he is a good person. I suspect he had more than one affair off of that website ...... but I don't know. I miss him, but I'm unlikely to ever hear from him again. I know he regrets telling me about his marriage problems and subsequent extra- marital "activities". I don't excuse any of his behavior and what he did is wrong, but I understand how a good person can do bad things.

 

 

I hope, in the future, he is able to learn, grow, be honest and ultimately repent for his betrayal ...... I know I did ...... so I can only hope.

 

This story breaks my heart, but I also know it is all too common.

 

And no, anyone who is capable of objective thought knows your friend was not fake all those years. But yes, his choice displayed horrible character. And yes, your choice to be an OM was really bad, but NO, you are not still that person.

 

I'm glad I do not choose to live freezing people in time.

[Raena]

That's exactly what OW/OM™ so often do when they really haven't moved on in the slightest. They minimize their own active role in their affair by focusing on the obvious culpability of a wayward married spouse instead of reflecting on their own actions. There's simply no room for self-examination within this rhetoric. It quite frankly doesn't matter what the wayward spouse did or said. From of the point of view of an OW/OM, anything they've been told is irrelevant because they're free to pursue what is best for themselves. Should anyone discover they've been lied to, and that a new date is secretly married, then they can easily choose to move on immediately. Just because a wayward spouse wants an affair to happen doesn't mean that he can do or say anything to force it to happen. - That's called rape and not an affair.

 

You're not crazy Raena but I think you should take the time to consider what empowerment means to you. What you've said isn't entirely grounded in reality.

 

I think you missed my point entirely and that's ok because you obviously haven't experienced what I've experienced. Empowerment has nothing to do with what I posted on here... it has everything to do with stupidity, gullibility and the ridiculous things people do when they are in love. It also has to do with manipulative pathological liars who are very good at getting what they want and getting people to believe things that aren't true. You've obviously never dealt with it before... at least not in the way I have. It happens, I'm just saying don't be so quick to judge another person so harshly without knowing the full details of the situation.

[Eggplant]

A lot of people on here act as though a person can just lie and nobody will ever figure him or her out. But humans have evolved to be masters at reading body language and assessing a person's reaction to questions. You think the actual words you say are the only message you're sending out? You don't have the control over your face and body you think. You may fool a person short term, but long term, it's only a matter of time. And as long as you are not fully honest, and you have walls up between you and full honesty, you will never develop true intimacy with anybody. So good luck lying.

[joystickd]

lmao at the trademark sign you added to othermen/otherwomen

I didnt say anything about steal....I said such behavior is selfish and many see it as low quality trait in a potential mate.

I saw trying to steal and said that. I have found that more men have issues with their partner having been the other person than women do. In a way for a man being the OM can increase your demand in a sense. I was an OM once and the woman was a coworker. When the other women found out and the fact that she packed up and left it create a certain curiosity in regards to me. I even heard "You must have that good dyck to get her to leave her man" from another woman. I don't recommend anyone do it. I will say though I learned that attraction is not logical. It's easy to say what you will or won't do until emotions come into play.

 

I will say I consider myself a great potential mate for a woman and I won't loose any sleep if one thinks I'm a low quality person because I did what I did.

[iiiii]

I would consider dating someone who had been an OM/OW, but only if it was a long time in the past, and if the person genuinely regretted what they had done.

 

I have never cheated on anyone or dated a cheater myself, but I have definitely hurt people in other ways in the past. I think the same is probably true of everyone else on earth. We all have done and said things that we are ashamed of - and we have hopefully learned from it - that is just part of growing up. How can I expect my partner to have been perfect their whole life long, when I haven't been perfect myself?

 

Having said that I would never want to be involved with someone who minimized the seriousness of what they'd done, or blamed the other party. That would tell me that they couldn't take responsibility for their own actions, and hadn't learned from their mistakes.

[kaylan]

I saw trying to steal and said that. I have found that more men have issues with their partner having been the other person than women do. In a way for a man being the OM can increase your demand in a sense. I was an OM once and the woman was a coworker. When the other women found out and the fact that she packed up and left it create a certain curiosity in regards to me. I even heard "You must have that good dyck to get her to leave her man" from another woman. I don't recommend anyone do it. I will say though I learned that attraction is not logical. It's easy to say what you will or won't do until emotions come into play.

 

I will say I consider myself a great potential mate for a woman and I won't loose any sleep if one thinks I'm a low quality person because I did what I did.

Chicks who would say the bolded are not likely girls I would deem quality. Honestly, Ive only ever met ratchet chicks that say anything seemingly positive about infidelity situations.

 

Anyways, from what Ive seen, Ive met an equal number of men and women who are turned off by people whove participated in affairs. I wouldnt say women are more inclined to be ok with it.

Edited April 21, 2014 by kaylan

[joystickd]

Chicks who would say the bolded are not likely girls I would deem quality. Honestly, Ive only ever met ratchet chicks that say anything seemingly positive about infidelity situations.

 

Anyways, from what Ive seen, Ive met an equal number of men and women who are turned off by people whove participated in affairs. I wouldnt say women are more inclined to be ok with it.

You would be surprised the women it actually does attract. Pu$$y begats pu$$y. It's the difference between men and women. Women like men that are on some level in demand. This is why some people encourage struggling guys to date someone they may not be really into as a starter. I'm not saying every woman goes for the guy that is in demand but it helps if you have a sort of demand going. A lot of it is because women think a good man is hard to find. In a way it's why OWs happen. A lot of guys never had a lot of attention until they have a girlfriend or get married then pu$$y just comes out of the wood works. I bet the LS women on here will look at this and state it's not true. Think about the stories or people you know that two women got into conflict because on had sex with the other's husband/boyfriend whether it was friends or family members. You hear about this more than men going after friend's companion. This is the reality of women. I say this because I work in a profession that is mostly women. The crap a few of the female users want to portray is not the reality. When it comes to men there are quite a few women that will get ratchet.

[notserene]

You would be surprised the women it actually does attract. Pu$$y begats pu$$y. It's the difference between men and women. Women like men that are on some level in demand. This is why some people encourage struggling guys to date someone they may not be really into as a starter. I'm not saying every woman goes for the guy that is in demand but it helps if you have a sort of demand going. A lot of it is because women think a good man is hard to find. In a way it's why OWs happen. A lot of guys never had a lot of attention until they have a girlfriend or get married then pu$$y just comes out of the wood works. I bet the LS women on here will look at this and state it's not true. Think about the stories or people you know that two women got into conflict because on had sex with the other's husband/boyfriend whether it was friends or family members. You hear about this more than men going after friend's companion. This is the reality of women. I say this because I work in a profession that is mostly women. The crap a few of the female users want to portray is not the reality. When it comes to men there are quite a few women that will get ratchet.

 

 

I have heard that there are women who view married or taken men as a good bet. Seems kind of odd to me though, and any women who deliberately set out to try to "take" other women's husbands/boyfriends are beyond the pale IMO.

[Quiet Storm]

You would be surprised the women it actually does attract. Pu$$y begats pu$$y. It's the difference between men and women. Women like men that are on some level in demand. This is why some people encourage struggling guys to date someone they may not be really into as a starter. I'm not saying every woman goes for the guy that is in demand but it helps if you have a sort of demand going. A lot of it is because women think a good man is hard to find. In a way it's why OWs happen. A lot of guys never had a lot of attention until they have a girlfriend or get married then pu$$y just comes out of the wood works. I bet the LS women on here will look at this and state it's not true. Think about the stories or people you know that two women got into conflict because on had sex with the other's husband/boyfriend whether it was friends or family members. You hear about this more than men going after friend's companion. This is the reality of women. I say this because I work in a profession that is mostly women. The crap a few of the female users want to portray is not the reality. When it comes to men there are quite a few women that will get ratchet.

 

I think people have different definitions of quality women. You may see someone that looks good, has a decent job & is nice to you as a "quality woman". But hot & friendly career women can have family of origin issues, conflict avoidance, personality disorders, low self worth, etc.

 

I think men that are looking for someone long term (not just sex), are looking beyond looks & attitude, in order to mitigate the risk of future problems. I think it's a smart thing to do.

 

Most women who are attracted by men that are in relationships with their friends or other women- and act on that attraction- have issues with low self worth. Instead of naturally feeling valuable & worthy, their sense of self worth comes from others. So getting a guy to cheat or leave his woman for them makes them feel special. Being with a guy that other women want makes them feel superior. Most don't even consciously realize what is driving their choices because they are not very self aware. They have all sorts of rationalizations & justifications, in order to make it OK in their own minds. IMO, this type of woman would not be a smart choice to have a relationship with (if you are looking for a long term relationship or life partner). They will always be looking to others to make them feel "whole", and this inherent need will affect her ability to be a good wife and a good mother. Women can overcome this, but it takes a lot of work.

 

So I agree that your tactic will work on lots of women. It will certainly work on some hot women, educated women, career women, etc. But what qualities are important to you? Most people looking for long term want someone that has integrity & respect. They don't want to be on the Infidelity forum ten years from now, as a father of little kids, and husband to a broken mess of a wife who's sobbing "I'm sorry, it just happened. I was lonely/sad/bored and he paid attention to me." There are A LOT of messed up people out there, and they don't walk around with signs on them that say "I HAVE ISSUES". You have to look at what they do, how they act, what drives their choices, etc.

 

Most emotionally healthy women do not have that strong need to be validated by others. They like to be acknowledged and appreciate compliments & praise, but their choices are not driven by a need for attention or validation. They naturally feel worthy, because this sense of self worth was instilled in them at a very young age. Their friend's partners are "off limits" in their minds. They have standards & boundaries, which remain intact regardless of feelings. So if they are attracted to their friend's man, they wouldn't act on this attraction. They would say to themselves "Uh, oh! I'm feeling hot for him, so I need to stay away!" Instead of giving in to their weaknesses, they protect themselves from their weaknesses.

 

Therapy/counseling can help people figure out WHY they need that validation, and how to redirect their thoughts & keep strong boundaries. It can help people that are slaves to their feelings gain control. However, it is very difficult for therapy to change those inner feelings of unworthiness.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Quiet Storm

[BHsigh]

I would never date an OW, or a FWS for that matter. I'm not on board with the people that think that they are forever trash though, I believe in redemption and I believe that people change.

 

But having grown up in a broken family because of my dad's affair, and him having married his AP, to having a cousin murdered by his AP's BS and having another cousin commit suicide after her husbands affair, and then me having to deal with being a BS, I really couldn't be comfortable trusting an exAP or a FWS. Anyone that knowingly put anyone's family even near any of those positions is too much for me, I couldn't do it. They could now be the most honest and trustworthy that I would ever meet, and I'm sure that plenty of them are, but that doesn't change how my mind reacts.

 

Now a person in their teens? I could overlook that, teens are notorious for doing stupid things, and they aren't really old enough or experienced enough to fully understand all of the ramifications, so I wouldn't even care if someone cheated when they were 16, or was an AP either.

[carhill]

I know no one is perfect...but I my desire for honesty and my being cheated on at the young age of 18, instilled within me a low tolerance for infidelity.

 

That sounds reasonable and I think, if this perspective precludes you from dating women with disclosed infidelity in their past, that's healthy.

 

Here's my take, with another generation of life experience with women under my belt:

 

1. Women vary in what they consider to be 'cheating'. As example, very few stated directly that they ever considered their EA's with me over the decades to be cheating.

 

2. Using my standard of cheating, essentially deceiving one's spouse of behaviors with their sexual preference the spouse would otherwise disapprove of, I've met very few women who haven't 'cheated' at some point in their lives, either directly with myself or by their own admission of such behaviors or by demonstrating those behaviors in direct view.

 

Would I date a cheater? Yep, I did, on numerous occasions, and probably married one too. That's how it goes in my demographic (location and social strata). That includes both 'sides' of the spectrum, the 'OM/OW' side as listed in the title and the 'MW/MM' side, in my case OW and MW. When was I first exposed to this? At 19, with my best friend's sister while her erstwhile (she was 18) fiance was away on deployment. At that point, even at that apparently young age, it was very difficult to find a woman who wasn't already married with children, or at least not in a LTR. Again, demographics. In a different place and time, results could have been completely different. Over the decades, my observance has been that the most successful people focus on what they want without regard to the wants or sensibilities of others. Faced with that, any other strategy is a nearly clear lose situation. The only winning move is not to play, so that's my move. Good luck!

[kaylan]

You would be surprised the women it actually does attract. Pu$$y begats pu$$y. It's the difference between men and women. Women like men that are on some level in demand. This is why some people encourage struggling guys to date someone they may not be really into as a starter. I'm not saying every woman goes for the guy that is in demand but it helps if you have a sort of demand going. A lot of it is because women think a good man is hard to find. In a way it's why OWs happen. A lot of guys never had a lot of attention until they have a girlfriend or get married then pu$$y just comes out of the wood works. I bet the LS women on here will look at this and state it's not true. Think about the stories or people you know that two women got into conflict because on had sex with the other's husband/boyfriend whether it was friends or family members. You hear about this more than men going after friend's companion. This is the reality of women. I say this because I work in a profession that is mostly women. The crap a few of the female users want to portray is not the reality. When it comes to men there are quite a few women that will get ratchet.

I repeat. Ive not seen high quality women chase down taken men and say positive things about cheating. This has nothing to do with what women on LS say, and everything to do with how Ive seen quality women behave throughout my life. Quality women dont applaud men getting women to leave decent men...they dont applaud infidelity. And they certainly dont start chasing taken men. That is behavior for the low quality chicks.

 

And not for nothing dude...having followed your posts over the years, I truly wonder if you encounter high quality women often. You always seem to encounter not the best women...especially given the complaints you make.

Edited April 22, 2014 by kaylan

[janedoe67]

I can understand the desire not to be with someone who has a history of cheating.

 

I would not want to be with someone who had a history of weirdo stalking behavior or blowing up families for some overblown idea of freaky revenge by proxy. I know a couple of people who claim to have high values who would have no qualms about the aformentioned behavior.

 

Basically, anyone who chooses to exhibit unbalanced, unhealthy, and abnormal or immoral behavior is prob ably not a good bet. I also would not date someone who had been an abusive spouse.

[joystickd]

I repeat. Ive not seen high quality women chase down taken men and say positive things about cheating. This has nothing to do with what women on LS say, and everything to do with how Ive seen quality women behave throughout my life. Quality women dont applaud men getting women to leave decent men...they dont applaud infidelity. And they certainly dont start chasing taken men. That is behavior for the low quality chicks.

 

And not for nothing dude...having followed your posts over the years, I truly wonder if you encounter high quality women often. You always seem to encounter not the best women...especially given the complaints you make.

I didn't say applaud them. I was merely mentioning once you get attention from one woman other notice. As of right now I'm not really looking for a relationship I just do the whole casual/FWB thing right now. Area I'm in is mostly used up women and burnouts. I know I will get crap for calling them that but if the shoe fits. I mean you have women that spent years in repeatedly in bad relationships or women that were promiscuous. Really they are just for fun f**king. I was a late bloomer to the dating world and had to learn that the hard way. The last woman I was with that was single was high quality as you would say it but had too much going on to have anything romantic. I'm will admit I have good success on a casual level. I can find someone to get on that level and most are not relationship material.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvfbyzYNCwA

 

That is what they want but I'm not in the business of saving. We leave that with Jesus. My biggest frustration is finding someone I like and being the good understanding guy and it doesn't work out into a relationship. The crazy thing is these same women I can be my usual cool self and get them on a casual/FWB thing. The thing is some of them are women you could say are high quality and I've become the guy using them up. I really don't want to be doing the whole casual/FWB thing or being the OM its empty and boring but it seems to be the only option. Crazy thing is 90% of the women I have dealt with were married and the single ones could have been high quality but you know how that goes

Edited April 22, 2014 by joystickd

[Thegreatestthing]

No definitely not shows they have low concern for others and low respect for relationships.never.