Apete Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Please help Please note: English is my third language. I got married three weeks ago. During these three weeks, my wife was emotionally distance: she always seems tired and sick; she comes to bed around 11:00pm when I already fell sleep because she is avoiding sex; she avoids me during the whole time; two times she slept on sofa. I talked to her four different times and asked her what is bothering her. She replied that everything is fine. I told her that she is avoiding me and doesn’t want to be around me. Again she said, “nothing is wrong.” I saw her spending many hours on facebook and I decided to find out. I have never cheated on her. One night she fell sleep and left her facebook open. To my surprise and heartbreak, I saw her chat. She was chatting with her ex and told him how much she misses him. She told him that she loves him so much and she will never forget about him. He told her that it is better for her to forget about him since she is married now. She said, “that is true but I am unable to forget about you.” To make it short, she asked him to tell her what makes him upset about her. He replied that he will tell her personally and will come to “our” home. She asked him, “when are you planning to come?” He said, “whenever you are available.” She replied, “come over tonight” and when he said that he is busy, she told him to come over the same afternoon. However, he said, “I will call you when I am ready.” This chat was taking place for couple of days while I was monitoring everyday and night because I stole her password through keylogger. Now, I am so upset and disappointed. I did not tell her or confronted her because I don’t trust her anymore. But I told her that I am not happy with how she is behaving and I asked her to go to her mom’s home because I need some time to think. She begged and begged and asked me that she will change and how much she “loves me” blah…blah..blah. She was begging me for three days and I stood my ground. I refused and asked her to go to her mom’s home. She went to her mom’s home yesterday and I am planning to meet her on Monday. I printed all the conversations and I am going to confront her. Then I will tell her to never come back and I am planning to divorce her. She thinks that she is so smart that she can hide it but I am smarter. What bothers me most is when she asked him to come over. If I confront her with the printed facts, she will apologize and promise me that she will never do it again. And guest what she would do: she would go underground; that is, she will simply change the method. She will stop using facebook and come up with other ways to communicate with him. Any advice. Am I overreacting? Pleas help. Link to post Share on other sites
Atlantico Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 So early in the marriage life, what happened? I don't think you are over reacting. You seem to be calm enough to have set up a plan whose validity will depend on particulars you have not explained, such as certain legal aspects of it all. Looks like your only getaway is to prepare to divorce, count it as gained life experience as all this seems quite childish. Stay calm and composed... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Can you get the marriage annulled? Check with your lawyer and / or religious counselor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Divorce. She's not ready for a relationship. Why she dragged you into marriage anyway is beyond me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I am sorry you are in this position, but I think you are on the right track. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Pine Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Please help Please note: English is my third language. I am amazed that English is your THIRD language. You have better syntax and grammar than most people that own English as a FIRST language. Hats off, brother. And get that marriage ix-nayed quickly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 If she has been sleeping on the sofa and avoiding sex with you and your only married a few weeks have your marriage annulled, much cheaper. Sounds like she is still in love with her ex, your her second choice and she is just waiting for his decision to be with her and she will leave you faster than you can spell the word divorce. You have all the evidence you need, tell her to stay at her mothers and talk to a lawyer. You are not over reacting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Apete, You come over as a smart, intelligent, sensible, logical man. You deserve better than this sham of a marriage. Non-consummation is grounds for an annullment in some religions/countries, so you might like to check it out. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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