So Nauseous...Ex is in New Relationship

[Babolat]

Please tell me more. Are there links to your old threads? Did you ever wonder if it was your anxiety that got in the way and made you obsess?

There are probably 10+ threads about my relationship with her on here. Yes, I often wondered if my anxiety got in the way. But, the anxiety is there, for a reason. Something was wrong, off, not right, with the relationship. I was fighting my gut.

[Babolat]

"OP, you suffer from a classic case of " don't know what you have until it's gone."" This is true. It hurts.

I disagree. You had anxiety for a reason. Figure that out. Your anxiety sounds a lot like mine; it was unlike any anxiety I had ever felt before.

[DontBreakEven]

I felt betrayed, replaced, alone, forgotten.

 

Come ON. Really???? Just out of curiosity, how do you think she felt when you dumped her? How do you think she felt when you told her for months that you weren't sure if you were in love with her or not?

 

You need some serious ego therapy. All you care about is how YOU feel. How YOU can't feel the spark, how anxious YOU are, how maybe YOU let a good thing go, how YOU are now going to vomit because she is trying to live her life, how sad YOU are because her brother is now trying to cut ties as well. My god. Wake up. I'm abruptly cutting off this response because I think I'm at a loss for words for you. If you are 28 (by my calculations) you are too old to be acting like this.

[DontBreakEven]

There are probably 10+ threads about my relationship with her on here. Yes, I often wondered if my anxiety got in the way. But, the anxiety is there, for a reason. Something was wrong, off, not right, with the relationship. I was fighting my gut.

 

This is not necessarily the case. Not all anxiety is revolved around intuition. My ex had anxiety so bad she had to be admitted a month before we broke up. It wasn't her gut that something was not right [with the relationship]. To this day she will say I am the best person she's ever known and she will always love me. Something was not right with HER, not US. OP sounds like she is more in this boat.

[Ordinaryday]

When you dump someone you have to accept that they will move on, if you cant bear the thought of them with someone else then DON'T DUMP THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

But this here is exactly why people on LS advocate complete 100% NC. because even hearing that your ex is with someone else can set you majorly back.

[beembm]

Come ON. Really???? Just out of curiosity, how do you think she felt when you dumped her? How do you think she felt when you told her for months that you weren't sure if you were in love with her or not?

 

You need some serious ego therapy. All you care about is how YOU feel. How YOU can't feel the spark, how anxious YOU are, how maybe YOU let a good thing go, how YOU are now going to vomit because she is trying to live her life, how sad YOU are because her brother is now trying to cut ties as well. My god. Wake up. I'm abruptly cutting off this response because I think I'm at a loss for words for you. If you are 28 (by my calculations) you are too old to be acting like this.

 

 

 

I know you have been hurt by your ex, and I feel your pain, but please do not take your anger for her out on me. I am here, just like you, because I am hurting, badly, and looking for support. I am only human. I have not been cruel in this situation. I loved her and struggled daily for months trying to figure out what to do. I felt completely numb and felt that she deserved someone better, who could fully love her and be present. I wish I had been able to pull through the anxiety and I have self loathing for that but at the end of the day, I couldn't, even though I wanted to.

 

 

I will have to live with this remorse. But I AM hurting, I am depressed, and why can't we just be kind to each other on here? I don't know what your ex did to you but I am not her. I am open to advice and support and even constructive criticism, but you have provided none of that here so please don't come here just to bash me. Inflicting pain on others will not decrease yours

 

 

[beembm]

and by the way DontBreakEven, of course I have thought about how she has felt through all of this. The breakup didn't hit me until 2.5 months in because those first months I was doing grieving for her. I cried for the pain I caused her and what she must have felt, and how I couldn't take away her pain no matter what I did. Telling her I didn't know if I was in love was the most painful part of all of it and still makes me cry just thinking about it now. As I have said over and over in my posts here, I never wanted to hurt her or have these confusions/anxieties.

 

 

Also, its not OK to invalidate somebody's feelings. I grieved for her pain, and now I have to grieve for mine. Whether or not it has to do with my ego (and isn't everyone dumpees and dumpers alike on here because of their egos) doesn't mean its not real pain.

[DontBreakEven]

beembm,

 

I don't mean to invalidate your feelings. What I can't understand is why you are so upset about her moving on, and basically saying you're going through hell because she has moved on. I just don't understand what you expected her to do, or WANT her to do? Do you want her to wait for you? If that's the case, maybe you should tell her. I'm sure that as far as she's concerned, she has no choice but to move on. She's not doing it to hurt you, not trying to invalidate "everything you had" ... just doing it because that's the only choice you gave her.

[Babolat]

This is not necessarily the case. Not all anxiety is revolved around intuition. My ex had anxiety so bad she had to be admitted a month before we broke up. It wasn't her gut that something was not right [with the relationship]. To this day she will say I am the best person she's ever known and she will always love me. Something was not right with HER, not US. OP sounds like she is more in this boat.

I am not suggesting all anxiety revolves around intuition.

 

In MY case, I had a lot of anxiety with my ex gf. In the relationship I felt like "what's around the next corner" and "what will I learn about her today that does not set well with me". We had moral, value and character differences that I did my BEST to ignore, or figure out, down play, tell myself it was not a big deal, you name it. That was the source of my anxiety. I knew this was not the right relationship for me, yet because of the good, our good, her good, her redeeming qualities, I stayed in it.

[Babolat]

My ex had anxiety so bad she had to be admitted a month before we broke up. It wasn't her gut that something was not right [with the relationship]. To this day she will say I am the best person she's ever known and she will always love me. Something was not right with HER, not US. OP sounds like she is more in this boat.

I think it's fair to say, from this comment alone, not knowing anything else about your relationship, something about the relationship caused her to have severe enough anxierty that she was hospitalized. And that something, could have been something about you, or the combination of the two of you together. To suggest this was 100% her "own fault" if you will, is a bit selfish IMHO.

 

My ex started having panic attacks while we were dating. She had a hisotry of them prior, but they got worse with us. She too always told me how much she loved me, I was a great man, I was the best this and that. Yet I know, I was a contributor to her anxiety, our relationship and how I "lived' that relationship contributed to her anxiety.

[Babolat]

OP, do yourself a favor, find a good anxiety counselor in your area, and start treatment, immediately. Figure out what the source of your anxiety was in this relationship, while working with a professional. Stop trying to figur eout why you messed up and dumped her. You felt, what you felt, for a reason. Allow yourself to feel that, and believe it. Stop thinking about her, what she is doing know, and live your life, and work, on you.

 

Did you have anxiety issues before you met her? Did you have anxiety issues in prior relationships? Do you see any patterns if you did?

[DontBreakEven]

I am not suggesting all anxiety revolves around intuition.

 

In MY case, I had a lot of anxiety with my ex gf. In the relationship I felt like "what's around the next corner" and "what will I learn about her today that does not set well with me". We had moral, value and character differences that I did my BEST to ignore, or figure out, down play, tell myself it was not a big deal, you name it. That was the source of my anxiety. I knew this was not the right relationship for me, yet because of the good, our good, her good, her redeeming qualities, I stayed in it.

 

Understandable.

 

My ex's anxiety revolved around the fact that she wasn't 100% comfortable being an out lesbian. Plus just her generalized anxiety on a whole. She wasn't a very "together" person due to it. Everything was a crisis. She treated me poorly due to the fact that she needed 24.7 attention just for HER due to her constant everyday crises. Of course at some point it eroded our relationship as well. People with such high anxiety levels usually need to calm that before they can even attempt to be in a healthy 50/50 relationship. In the end, I understood why she felt she had to leave. Just tragic, honestly.

 

But if she were to be so heartbroken if she found out I'd moved on, I'd have to say the same thing to her as I am saying to OP -- what do you expect me to do? I would've waited WITH her while she dealt with her demons. But she abandoned me and felt that she needed to be on her on to do that, and not drag me through the hurt. That was her decision -- one I didn't want. Since she chose to go on without me, I cannot wait around to see when/if she is ever able to become someone who can be in an equal partnership, no matter how amazing our relationship was/could have been.

[DontBreakEven]

OP, do yourself a favor, find a good anxiety counselor in your area, and start treatment, immediately. Figure out what the source of your anxiety was in this relationship, while working with a professional. Stop trying to figur eout why you messed up and dumped her. You felt, what you felt, for a reason. Allow yourself to feel that, and believe it. Stop thinking about her, what she is doing know, and live your life, and work, on you.

 

Did you have anxiety issues before you met her? Did you have anxiety issues in prior relationships? Do you see any patterns if you did?

 

I agree with this. You need to find the source of what is eating at you.

[DontBreakEven]

I think it's fair to say, from this comment alone, not knowing anything else about your relationship, something about the relationship caused her to have severe enough anxierty that she was hospitalized. And that something, could have been something about you, or the combination of the two of you together. To suggest this was 100% her "own fault" if you will, is a bit selfish IMHO.

 

My ex started having panic attacks while we were dating. She had a hisotry of them prior, but they got worse with us. She too always told me how much she loved me, I was a great man, I was the best this and that. Yet I know, I was a contributor to her anxiety, our relationship and how I "lived' that relationship contributed to her anxiety.

 

Her anxiety stemmed from childhood issues. She had intense intimacy issues. Also, she wasn't comfortable with the fact that she was coming to terms with being a lesbian. I was her first girlfriend, so yes, I obviously was a trigger. I'm not being selfish. It was solely about her and her issues within herself and not being okay with who she was. I put most of the blame on her, because she jerked me around for 2 years keeping me in her "skeletal closet" so to speak, acting like at any moment she would be able to own the relationship. She never could bring herself to - and subsequently, broke my heart. But ultimately it's her issue to figure out.

[beembm]

Thank you both for your investment in this. I appreciate the feedback so much.

 

 

Babolat - I've had anxiety and episodic depersonalization my whole life. Was on Zoloft for nearly 10 years and decided to come off in April. August was when **** started hitting the fan and I started obsessing about whether she was right for me/if I was happy/etc.

 

 

I've found a good therapist - actually the couples therapist we were seeing - and I see her once and sometimes twice a week. I am desperate to get to the bottom of this as I feel like it's ruined everything... You said "Stop trying to figure out why you messed up and dumped her." but I don't know how to do this. It is a 24/7 thought loop. Literally it's messing me up at work, and then I just go home and read these forums until I go to bed.

 

 

DontBreakEven, your ex and I sound very similar. This was my first same-sex relationship and this definitely played into my anxiety, worrying sometimes that I was actually straight, her worrying that my friends didn't accept us, etc. I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I really empathize because you sound just like my ex, willing and wanting to work it out WITH me. Willing to do anything.

 

 

And in terms of what I expected her to do, I didn't expect her to wait. That wouldn't have been fair. I actually told her and begged her to move on because my biggest fear was that she would hold on and hold on and I would never be ready or fearless enough to commit. I know I told her to do this, but I didn't think it would happen so fast! It's just hard to be going through this break up on different timelines. I don't know why but the idea of us being in pain and missing the relationship at the same time is slightly more comforting? Does that sound bad?

 

 

I never wanted her to be in pain. I am trying so hard to be happy that she is happy, and she tells me she is very happy now. But its hard. I just didn't think it would happen this way. I guess in the back of my mind I figured we would have some space and time, I'd figure my **** out, and we'd get back together... that was clearly childish thinking

 

 

Everyone on here keeps saying, if you weren't ready to lose her, then don't break up with her?!?!? but the thing is, I was in such a state of emotional crisis, probably should have been admitted somewhere, I was such a mess, that I just called it. I never really THOUGHT about what it would be like to lose her.

 

 

That is what kills me.

[Babolat]

Her anxiety stemmed from childhood issues. She had intense intimacy issues. Also, she wasn't comfortable with the fact that she was coming to terms with being a lesbian. I was her first girlfriend, so yes, I obviously was a trigger. I'm not being selfish. It was solely about her and her issues within herself and not being okay with who she was. I put most of the blame on her, because she jerked me around for 2 years keeping me in her "skeletal closet" so to speak, acting like at any moment she would be able to own the relationship. She never could bring herself to - and subsequently, broke my heart. But ultimately it's her issue to figure out.

 

Well said and undersatood. One of my best friends is gay. I've known him since 1994, but we only played tennis together until last year. I assumed he was gay (mostly rumor kind of talk from others), never cared, I would continue to invite him out to social events and he always said no or had an excuse. Last year, he "came out" to me when he finally agreed to go out to dinner with me, and our relationship as friends has been amazing since.

 

I recently asked him why he never told me, and why we just played tennis for almost 20 years. He said his partner of 15 years, at the time, would not allow him to share that he was gay, his partner was gay, and that they were in a realtionship. They were "roomates" even to his partners family. He also said he was afraid I would not accept him. Post breakup his partner has shared with the world that he is gay and moved into another relatioship quickly.

 

The current woman I am seeing is sponsoring a project for our city to make people more aware of the gay lifestyle and culture in our city, and I think it's amazing. She met my gay friend Sunday night and they hit it off, needless to say!

[AlphaC]

I don't like to comment twice on the same thread so I will make this short. Whenever someone decides to leave a relationship they concoct excuses.

 

You guys realize these excuses make you look immature and foolish? The dumpee realizes this in due time and with NC the dumpee moves on.

 

Relationships end because people get bored and are selfish. The dumper, here the OP, wanted to experience other women so she broke up with her ex. She says she was going to therapy, anxiety, needed to work on herself, common excuses.

 

I hope you guys are learning from being on LS. What I learned.

 

1. Relationships are work.

2. Find someone you are compatible with AND work with them through ups and downs.

3. Too many people break up and come up with excuses that make ZERO sense to justify their decision - be honest with yourself and your partner. I would rather have a woman tell me she is bored of my crazy horny self than say she is breaking up with me because she doesn't like the bar I frequent. (this what my ex did, lmfao).

4. If you intend to get married and have a healthy, successful relationship you better have your act together.

5. Common excuse used to break up is this, "we are not having sex." Solution - take a trip, dress nicer, talk to your partner or just take a break. Just because you had a lot of sex early on doesn't mean you will have sex every day for the rest of your lives.

 

Last but not least - when you love someone you come up with 1000 reasons to stay together. I had a dog who used to snore, fart, bark all night, jump on the bed and run around the house with the cat when I was trying to sleep. I loved this dog so much that I could not fathom the thought of getting rid of him. Couples nowadays break up for silliest of reasons.

 

Wake up people, stop with the therapist, stop with the candles, voodoo dolls and the excuses. Take time for yourself, work on yourself and when you are ready go out and date. Learn from your past and do better next time.

[Babolat]

I had a dog who used to snore, fart, bark all night, jump on the bed and run around the house with the cat when I was trying to sleep. I loved this dog so much that I could not fathom the thought of getting rid of him.

 

Waaaaay off topic, but I am so glad to hear someoen say this as I feel the same. My cat drives me nuts sometimes, wants to be let in and out of the house 82 times a day, snores, sneezes, presses up against me at night, but I love the guy!

 

My mom just got rid of 2 dogs over 6 months, because they became "too much to deal with". The first one, yeah, a mess, would have driven me crazy. The 2nd one, not a clue why she gave him away.

[DontBreakEven]

I've found a good therapist - actually the couples therapist we were seeing - and I see her once and sometimes twice a week. I am desperate to get to the bottom of this as I feel like it's ruined everything... You said "Stop trying to figure out why you messed up and dumped her." but I don't know how to do this. It is a 24/7 thought loop. Literally it's messing me up at work, and then I just go home and read these forums until I go to bed.

 

 

DontBreakEven, your ex and I sound very similar. This was my first same-sex relationship and this definitely played into my anxiety, worrying sometimes that I was actually straight, her worrying that my friends didn't accept us, etc. I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I really empathize because you sound just like my ex, willing and wanting to work it out WITH me. Willing to do anything.

 

 

And in terms of what I expected her to do, I didn't expect her to wait. That wouldn't have been fair. I actually told her and begged her to move on because my biggest fear was that she would hold on and hold on and I would never be ready or fearless enough to commit. I know I told her to do this, but I didn't think it would happen so fast! It's just hard to be going through this break up on different timelines. I don't know why but the idea of us being in pain and missing the relationship at the same time is slightly more comforting? Does that sound bad?

 

 

I never wanted her to be in pain. I am trying so hard to be happy that she is happy, and she tells me she is very happy now. But its hard. I just didn't think it would happen this way. I guess in the back of my mind I figured we would have some space and time, I'd figure my **** out, and we'd get back together... that was clearly childish thinking

 

 

Everyone on here keeps saying, if you weren't ready to lose her, then don't break up with her?!?!? but the thing is, I was in such a state of emotional crisis, probably should have been admitted somewhere, I was such a mess, that I just called it. I never really THOUGHT about what it would be like to lose her.

 

 

That is what kills me.

 

Well honestly OP, for both you and my ex, the state the relationship was in when it ended wouldn't have gone the distance. She was in emotional crisis, and it sounds like you are too. My ex's crisis was hurting me. She knew it, I knew it. Yes, I would've stayed, but if I have to be honest, I was hoping it would get better. It never did. And she really did try (this wasn't our first breakup).

 

As much pain as I am in, I know that as we were, we wouldn't have made it. In my dreams, I hope that she figures it all out and gains some clarity and comes back to me before I have found someone else. But in reality, her issues are deep rooted. They are going to take a long time to figure out, and my life is taking off professionally, not to mention I am 31. I am ready for something real, and need someone else who is ready. I hope someday I can find that, and if I were to find it tomorrow, as much as it would hurt me to finally truly let her go in my heart, I would -- because I want to be happy. And I cannot control my ex. Ultimately she chose to walk away. I wish she hadn't, but she did. I do think she made a mistake, but unfortunately, I fear that by the time she is able to see that, it will be too late for us.

 

My advice to you would be to keep delving into your issues, your sexuality, your anxiety, etc. If in the end you are able to figure it out, and she is still around, wonderful. If she's not still around, well at least you won't make the same mistakes in the future. If you would like to connect on FB or something, feel free to send me a private message. I get where you're coming from. Apologies for being so hard on you earlier.

[AlphaC]

My cat drives me nuts sometimes, wants to be let in and out of the house 82 times a day, snores, sneezes, presses up against me at night, but I love the guy!

 

 

Ha ha, how can you not love cats, they are so cute. Every girl I dated had an issue with cats, they were all allergic to those little feline critters. Luckily my current GF doesn't have that problem. Don't get me started with dogs, lol.

[BC1980]

Thank you both for your investment in this. I appreciate the feedback so much.

 

 

Babolat - I've had anxiety and episodic depersonalization my whole life. Was on Zoloft for nearly 10 years and decided to come off in April. August was when **** started hitting the fan and I started obsessing about whether she was right for me/if I was happy/etc.

 

 

I've found a good therapist - actually the couples therapist we were seeing - and I see her once and sometimes twice a week. I am desperate to get to the bottom of this as I feel like it's ruined everything... You said "Stop trying to figure out why you messed up and dumped her." but I don't know how to do this. It is a 24/7 thought loop. Literally it's messing me up at work, and then I just go home and read these forums until I go to bed.

 

 

DontBreakEven, your ex and I sound very similar. This was my first same-sex relationship and this definitely played into my anxiety, worrying sometimes that I was actually straight, her worrying that my friends didn't accept us, etc. I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I really empathize because you sound just like my ex, willing and wanting to work it out WITH me. Willing to do anything.

 

 

And in terms of what I expected her to do, I didn't expect her to wait. That wouldn't have been fair. I actually told her and begged her to move on because my biggest fear was that she would hold on and hold on and I would never be ready or fearless enough to commit. I know I told her to do this, but I didn't think it would happen so fast! It's just hard to be going through this break up on different timelines. I don't know why but the idea of us being in pain and missing the relationship at the same time is slightly more comforting? Does that sound bad?

 

 

I never wanted her to be in pain. I am trying so hard to be happy that she is happy, and she tells me she is very happy now. But its hard. I just didn't think it would happen this way. I guess in the back of my mind I figured we would have some space and time, I'd figure my **** out, and we'd get back together... that was clearly childish thinking

 

 

Everyone on here keeps saying, if you weren't ready to lose her, then don't break up with her?!?!? but the thing is, I was in such a state of emotional crisis, probably should have been admitted somewhere, I was such a mess, that I just called it. I never really THOUGHT about what it would be like to lose her.

 

 

That is what kills me.

 

Do you have anxiety with other issues in life. With my ex, he developed anxiety after his first wife died suddenly. It took so much energy for him to make even the simplest decision. I noticed this right away, but I let it slide as a quirk that could be dealt with. He had irrational fears about his son dying to the point he would even have dreams about it. When he got another job offer, it took him 2 months to make the decision and that was with me and everyone else in his family propelling him along.

 

He clearly needs help with his anxiety. He said he would lie awake at night and wonder if our relationship was right. Then, for months, he would be convinced we should get married. After a few months, I would do something that would make him wonder if we should be together. Once, I changed my plans at the last minute and decided not to go to his son's soccer tournament due to school. He said he stayed up at night for a week thinking about that and used it as a reason to break up with me.

 

I think my ex clearly has issues, and I want no part of it anymore. Whether it was the right or wrong relationship for him, it's definitely nice not to have to worry about another person's issues. I can't tell if your relationship was simply wrong or if you just have issues, but I'm leaning towards the latter. You seem to act just like my ex. He panicked when he thought I was dating someone new. I wasn't, but he became paranoid when I stopped answering his calls and texts. I've read that classic commitment phobia is being unable to commit but unable to rule the person out either.

[DontBreakEven]

Do you have anxiety with other issues in life. With my ex, he developed anxiety after his first wife died suddenly. It took so much energy for him to make even the simplest decision. I noticed this right away, but I let it slide as a quirk that could be dealt with. He had irrational fears about his son dying to the point he would even have dreams about it. When he got another job offer, it took him 2 months to make the decision and that was with me and everyone else in his family propelling him along.

 

He clearly needs help with his anxiety. He said he would lie awake at night and wonder if our relationship was right. Then, for months, he would be convinced we should get married. After a few months, I would do something that would make him wonder if we should be together. Once, I changed my plans at the last minute and decided not to go to his son's soccer tournament due to school. He said he stayed up at night for a week thinking about that and used it as a reason to break up with me.

 

I think my ex clearly has issues, and I want no part of it anymore. Whether it was the right or wrong relationship for him, it's definitely nice not to have to worry about another person's issues. I can't tell if your relationship was simply wrong or if you just have issues, but I'm leaning towards the latter. You seem to act just like my ex. He panicked when he thought I was dating someone new. I wasn't, but he became paranoid when I stopped answering his calls and texts. I've read that classic commitment phobia is being unable to commit but unable to rule the person out either.

 

Ugh. My ex's anxiety was so bad that she would have to often grab me and hold onto me while in a grocery store (florescent lights seemed to trigger vertigo and make her panic). I was always there for her. Even that one day, a month after we moved in together and after a day of running errands, I asked her if it'd be cool if I just went home while she went grocery shopping, because I didn't need anything at the store. She flipped out and peeled out and texted me about how she was sadly regretting her decision to move in with me because I couldn't do something so small for her.

 

This was the daily stuff I lived with. And I was okay with that, because I knew she wasn't stable, and I wasn't going to leave her just because she had uncontrollable anxiety. I accompanied her to the ER when she thought she was having a brain bleed (nothing), I helped her find an outpatient treatment center when she decided to take a leave of absence from work because she was "in a funk" (apparently was suicidal out of literally nowhere), I went to couples counseling with her when she said that we needed to figure out our issues (we spent the entire sessions talking about her childhood), and then I finally bought her the ring she was telling me she "wouldn't wait much longer for!" - she was gone 8 days later.

 

OP, anxiety is a big problem. It sounds harmless enough but it will affect everything you do, and any relationship you are ever in. Use this time to dig deep into yourself. Use your current pain as a catalyst to get you off the ground and out there figuring your sh*t out. It will be worth it in the long run, in every arena of your life.

[thysecret]

I was the dumpee. He dumped me for the same reason, he don't feel in love with me anymore, more like a good friend. He is interested in someone new as well.

I begged him to stay, i did everything i could but he simply ignores my effort and be cold to me.

Me (and her) suffered alot after the break up, way more than you're feeling now.

Maybe she just reach the point that she got too tired of chasing. I am trying to move on now as well.

 

I once saw this somewhere,

girls think with emotion, guys think with logic.

When girls break up, they usually cry alot in the beginning then move on quickly. Especially if another guy appear, we will go to them. (possible rebound but might fall for him as well). When we are done, we don't look back because we thought through it clearly.

 

for guys, when they feel bored or busy in life. they think with logic : If i dont give her any attention, it means i dont love her anymore. But with time, they start to realise it is a mistake and starts to regret. But by this time, the girl had already moved on.

 

My advice is, let her know how you feel and don't push it. Follow the flow. I know it hurts, but think back, you hurt her as well.

[Mondmellonw]

OP, what you've done with her kind of happened to me a week ago.

It made me realize how much time I was wasting since our actual BU.

And it made me feel like I really, really wanted to date again.

It's kind of silly, I know.

But indeed: sometimes when they hurt you, they expect you to be lost forever, or they feel bad about what they're doing to you. And when they realize that you just gave a chance to your life and heart again, they start to feel bad.

 

 

 

Life is weird. People who don't know what they want are weirder.

[beembm]

4 months since we broke up, 2 months since they've been together and they are engaged this weekend. I cried all night and woke up crying. I have so many emotions and questions and mainly just feel so sick and confused. She didn't even tell me even though we talked for an hour yesterday. I saw it on the other girls Instagram.

 

It all feels like a bad dream