what is wrong with me!

[confused]

i have broken up with my boyfriend and even though he did not treat me right at times i still miss him. his excuse to end the relationship was because he needs time on his own for a little while. gee i think i know why. i never did anything to hurt him , he says he want us to be friends and has indicated that he does not want to be with anyone else. i am not sure if i should take the risk and be friends or just cut my losses.

 

i miss him. i hate myself for feeling this way. i wish i was emotionally strong. i think about him every day.

 

we have really good times together but i feel i may be putting myself at risk "being friends" and i know that it could lead to casual sex if we were to be friends as he has given strong indications of wanting that. should i give him space and risk maybe him meeting someone else or should i leave. i feel if i do leave then there could have been a chance that we could have gotten back together and i lost that chance. how confused am i.

 

i also can't help but think that maybe he has not met anyone else (as i first thought) and a part of him can't let go which is why he still communicates with me. He communicated with me first and has made sugestions of sleeping together again. i really do not know what to think. please help.

[catt]

Do not, I repeat, do NOT sleep with him. He sounds like the kind of guy who wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He doesn't want a relationship with you (that takes too much work and emotional energy on his part) but, hell, sex is simple and yields almost instant results. C'mon! Can't you see what he is doing here? He wants to stay friends so that he can coerse you into sex at his whim. And, sister, you do not need that.

 

The reason you can't get over him is because you are still "friends" with him, whatever that means. He's just keeping you on the backburner til something better comes along. You need to figure out why the relationship didn't work out in the first place. You need to ask yourself what a friendship with him will do for YOU. Seems to me the only thing you're getting out of it is more heartache.

 

Something in your post really troubled me. You asked "should i give him space and risk maybe him meeting someone else"? This is disturbing. Correct me if I am wrong, but does that imply that by your "being friends" with him, you will in some way occupy at least some of his free time where he might be out meeting someone else? Do you think that by being friends you can stop that from happening? You can't, no matter how much time of his you try to monopolize, keep him from meeting someone else. You two are broken up. There is nothing you can do to keep him from finding another woman. The only thing you can do is take some time for yourself, away from this manipulative man, and do things for you. Get out there, go out with your friends (this does not include your ex), meet new people, and if you stop worrying for just a few minutes about whether or not he could be out meeting someone new, you just might find someone new yourself. Someone with a heart who wants more than just a f--k buddy.

 

Best of luck.

[Tony T]

This guy breaks up with you, wants "space" DUH, and calls you suggesting the two of you sleep together??? Tell him to take a long walk off a short bridge.

 

This "needing space" thing is a bunch of royal bunk. I know you still really care about the guy but guy's who really care about ladies don't need space away from them.

 

You tell him space includes the giving him sexual space as well.

 

Go find a guy who will want to be with you and won't need space with sex. What a concept. The guy thinks you are too stupid to see that he wants to be away from you but still USE you for sex.

 

Where do these guys come from?