How do people around my age get girlfriends so easily?

[R3d]

I am 16 and I have never had a girlfriend or a date...hell not even a real-life female friend and have hardly ever been flirted with.

 

I had my first crush during the late months of being 12 years old. She rejected me of course. From that time on, I have always wanted a girlfriend, but never really tried, until almost 3 months ago, I decided to officially revisit the issue because I was really starting to want a girlfriend again. Now I am back on the scene, and have been rejected three times in the past 3 months.

 

However, that's not the point of this thread. The point is, it's safe to say at least 75% of the people at my age have been in a relationship. Remember, 13 is the new 18. So, by today's standards, I am considered a "late bloomer" already.

 

My question is, HOW do they do it? And before you say "confidence", remember that almost everyone is insecure at this age to one extent or another, and it ****ing sucks to be honest.

 

I am very insecure about my height and race together. And because I can't seem to figure out why I seem to be one of the very few people to never have a girlfriend or gone on a date, I figure it's my height and race. I am a little under 5'4 and of Indian descent. I actually have a video where I talk about my insecurities here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykXmwdAe1ww

 

I just don't get it. HOW are people my age and younger getting girlfriends so easily?

 

I keep seeing myself as you know that dude on Yahoo! Answers who was like, "23 and no job, no girlfriend, no friends, still living my parents - depressed." I think to myself, "Yeah, that's me in 7 years, lol." Partly because I am introverted and already have very few friends. And I suck at job applications because I suck at self-presentation because I suck at self-esteem.

 

But I really DON'T want to be that dude, but that's how I am seeing myself becoming - a loser. Largely because of my height and apparently, a race which seems to be a turn-off.

 

EDIT: To be clear, I want a girlfriend, not because "everyone" else has one, but because I am lonely and want companionship, love, and affection, and am completely willing to return that love and affection. You know, someone to hold and care for.

Edited April 19, 2014 by R3d

[Eggplant]

I watched your video.

 

Your insecurities are MONSTROUSLY out of proportion. Being tall is just one extra plus in a long and complex and random function that determines attractiveness. What matters is the appearance of confidence. Don't worry that you're not confident, but do fake it till you make it. Have you heard that?

 

As far as your features, they are very masculine. Your thick eyebrows and jawline for you, and your skin color is gorgeous. I am a white woman, and I highly prefer people who look like you over fair guys, but it's still just a superficial preference.

 

What is going to make girls turn away is the insecure vibes. Also, I only saw you talk to the camera, and not to a person, but try not to ramble or talk more than the girl you are with.

 

 

P.S. Take that video down. You don't want your future family/coworkers finding it some day.

[R3d]

I watched your video.

 

Your insecurities are MONSTROUSLY out of proportion. Being tall is just one extra plus in a long and complex and random function that determines attractiveness. What matters is the appearance of confidence. Don't worry that you're not confident, but do fake it till you make it. Have you heard that?

 

As far as your features, they are very masculine. Your thick eyebrows and jawline for you, and your skin color is gorgeous. I am a white woman, and I highly prefer people who look like you over fair guys, but it's still just a superficial preference.

 

What is going to make girls turn away is the insecure vibes. Also, I only saw you talk to the camera, and not to a person, but try not to ramble or talk more than the girl you are with.

 

 

P.S. Take that video down. You don't want your future family/coworkers finding it some day.

 

So you don't think I should trim my eyebrows like a lot of people have suggested?

 

And the video is unlisted so no one can search it up.

[darkmoon]

trim the eyebrows, do a little to each one, then look at your reflection in a mirror from three feet away and also close up, if you see the need to do a little more then do it, and a little more again, keep an eye on how much trimming you do, just a little at a time, see how they look when you smile as well, if your brows suit you

Edited April 19, 2014 by darkmoon

[topaMAXX]

At 16, it's really all about social status. If you play sports or hang out with the cool crowd, you'll get the girls.

 

I'll be honest though and tell you something that others here won't: your race and height are big issues. I would say your best bet is to date other indian girls. White girls, especially, tend to not be very open minded about these kinds of things.

 

As far as height, you are young so you may grow yet. If you don't, you will likely have significant struggles dating in the US for the rest of your life.

 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, man. Just trying to keep it real with you.

 

With that said, I have a short indian friend (that is actually also balding). He recently met and got engaged to a blonde white girl. So it CAN happen, for sure. Good luck man!

Edited April 20, 2014 by topaMAXX

[Always Pondering]

Regarding your height insecurity and what others have said, I agree both sides. The extra height is in fact a bonus but not a necessity to all women.

 

Yes, I have had women turn me down (probably for my height and appearance) BUT at the same time I have had the best luck ever. I am 20 years old (male), just about 5'5", wear glasses (nice black rectangular frames) but I have dated cheerleaders who were slightly taller than me and had model-type figures. The point I'm trying to make out to you is that it IS possible!

 

You just need to up your confidence for the most part friend. I used to have the weakest handshake in history, stare at the ground when I talk to women, and stutter/say "um" a lot when talking to them. Nowadays I am the complete opposite. I know it is said a lot but confidence is a really important part. No, it does not automatically mean you will attract every woman you lay your eyes on but it will dramatically increase your chances (both in friendships and relationships).

 

You mention in your video that you heard in your 20's that this "thing" happens again right? Also that you are getting "both" bad ends in being a "different" race and short? Along with my height, I am also Asian but I have had numerous women compliment me, in various age ranges.

 

Trust me, I was in the same situation as you but you CAN make it through and it will get much easier. Work on your confidence though for sure. If you feel your eyebrows need trimming, then feel free to go do it! Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

[R3d]

Thank you so much dude. I am now a little more convinced after hearing two examples of short Indians/Asians even being able to pick up white/attractive girlfriends (sorry, I am not trying to be racist when I say that I like white skin - it's just something I am attracted to...a lot...almost a fetish lol, but honestly even that is not be-all end-all for me). The thing is I heard examples of short people being able to get girls, but I never heard of short and Indian/Asian dudes...until now. But now even that has been proven. You guys have proved to me that it is possible. So thank you - this will help out my confidence.

 

It's always nice to hear advice from someone that has actually been in my position. You sound a lot like me when you describe how you used to be.