Scooby042042 Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 I am looking for some serious advice... I am engaged to get married in september, and i really love this woman, but my problem is i am also in love with someone else that i think is more compatible with me. Me and my current fiance get along fine, for the most part, but it's little things that we don't agree on. She's more "forward" in life than i am, i still want to have fun and do crazy things, while she's very much into being 40 when we're 22. Me and the other woman were together when i went to jail, and she couldn't come see me when i was there. Next thing you know, my current fiance (just friends at the time) started to come and see me every time she could. Although i felt guilty at the time, it's nice to see a friendly face in that situation. Next, when i finally got out, i had put myself into quite the predicament. Both were after me, so to speak. I had begun a longing for my friend, and my girlfriend was away visiting home when i was released. SO i started to enjoy the company of my current fiance. Long story short, i've been in touch with my old fiance, who now lives in florida, very far from me, and it is obvious that we still miss each other. Some may not understand, but i love my fiance with a commitment that is unmatched, but still feel more emotionally attached to the old girl. A repsonsible man would die for the kind of woman my fiance is, but i feel she's taking life to seriously, not that you shouldn't, but i feel our personalities clash. I can't find it in myself to talk to her about this right now, because i'm not entirely sure what's going on in my head. But one thing's for sure, is that i don't feel we should get married. I've brought this up to her PLENTY of times, and she always manages to talk me out of it, EVERY TIME. I just feel so bad, even when i'm trying to be firm on my thoughts, she gets to me and makes me see the logic of why what we're doing is right. Which is fine, but when it comes down to it, i don't feel it. No matter what the facts and logic of it all tells me. She would be a great mother, etc., but i don't feel like i'm on her level. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Thanks for reading this, because if you've gotten this far, you are a patient person. Link to post Share on other sites
Drewpy Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Just bite the bullet and tell her. My ex fiance was probably going through what you are going through except she didn't have another. But she was hoping things would get better with me, they didn't. She was just prolonging the inevitable. If there are doubts then stop it before the time gets closer, because it will only be more and more pressure. It was 4 months until our wedding when she finally snapped and said buh-bye. I now know it was for the best, but at the time, man it was pretty shocking. I'm not sure it would have been less painful if it was 8 months away, but at least the $$ would have been saved. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by Scooby042042 But one thing's for sure, is that i don't feel we should get married. You should be honest, but firm with your girlfriend right now and end the engagement. Don't be persuaded to marry anyone if you are already having reservations about the relationship. A person can be good, but it doesn't mean you will want to commit to them or desire to be married. It will be painful for your fiance, but it's not fair to her when you have these feelings, and have an attraction for someone else. Getting married fully believing that you are making a mistake is a terrible thing to do to your SO and yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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