Joint Custody and Child Support

[iris219]

How many here with joint custody pay or receive child support?

 

What are your feelings about one party having to pay child support when both parties already support the children 50% of the time?

[mammasita]

It comes down to who will be carrying the kid(s) on their insurance and so forth IMO, that parent should receive child support.

 

In my case we have joint custody but I have primary physical so my sons father pays me child support. Joint custody in our case simply means that he has the ability to make any decisions concerning our son without having to "consult" with me.

[iris219]

My FI and his ex have joint custody. One week on, one week off. They switch every Monday.

 

They are on his insurance. He pays for after school care.

 

He also pays child support.

[mammasita]

My FI and his ex have joint custody. One week on, one week off. They switch every Monday.

 

They are on his insurance. He pays for after school care.

 

He also pays child support.

 

I failed to consider income levels in my first response.

 

I'm sure that's factored into who gets child support regardless of insurance....etc

[Haydn]

I receive child benefit in the UK. But i really don`t need it. Her mother receives it in Hungary as my daughter had duel citizenship.

 

We have no legal arrangements. I just works. We are lucky. We do everything 50-50 mostly.

[xxoo]

My FI and his ex have joint custody. One week on, one week off. They switch every Monday.

 

They are on his insurance. He pays for after school care.

 

He also pays child support.

 

What is her financial situation? Could she provide a suitable lifestyle during her time with the children without support?

[iris219]

What is her financial situation? Could she provide a suitable lifestyle during her time with the children without support?

 

Yes, she could support the children.

[Minnie09]

Yes, she could support the children.

 

It's based on the income difference, no matter who has the child more often, or whether or not it's 50/50 shared.

[iris219]

It's based on the income difference, no matter who has the child more often, or whether or not it's 50/50 shared.

 

I know.

 

I just wondered what people thought of this ethically and if they would take child support they didn't really need from a parent who had the children 50% of the time and who paid 100% of other expenses for the children.

[RonaldS]

My FI and his ex have joint custody. One week on, one week off. They switch every Monday.

 

They are on his insurance. He pays for after school care.

 

He also pays child support.

 

If I'm him, I'm filing a motion for conciliation review, like, today.

 

If he has the kids 50% of the time, and they're on his insurance, there's no reason for him to be paying her a dime. He's getting worked over pretty badly.

Edited April 20, 2014 by RonaldS

[lollipopspot]

I know.

 

I just wondered what people thought of this ethically and if they would take child support they didn't really need from a parent who had the children 50% of the time and who paid 100% of other expenses for the children.

 

It's really hard to know what to think about this situation from the information you provided. I don't know the mother's financial situation - she may be in a lot of debt but look fine from the outside. The point for children is that they have as good a quality of life as possible when they're with either parent.

 

I agree if that if one partner thinks that something is off about the situation, to file for a review.

 

I think the real issue here though may be that you resent the situation with your partner, and seeing where the money goes. I understand that. But I think this is something that you don't have much power over. Other than making a suggestion to your partner to file for a review, it is what it is, and your partner comes with a lot of baggage. Dating someone with children nearly always has this kind of difficulty.

[Tressugar]

Is it easy to ask for joint custody now? Because back in the day joint custody was non existent.

 

How is joint custody established?

[iris219]

If I'm him, I'm filing a motion for conciliation review, like, today.

 

If he has the kids 50% of the time, and they're on his insurance, there's no reason for him to be paying her a dime. He's getting worked over pretty badly.

 

He makes more so, in our state, I think he does have to pay. Initially, she said she'd agree not to ask for child support since he does so much already, but she reneged on that and wanted anything she could get.

 

It doesn't seem fair. Her BF pays many of her bills as well, which I know courts don't take into consideration.

 

He could get her to pay 1/2 the after school costs but he doesn't want to bother fighting over it.

 

Is it easy to ask for joint custody now? Because back in the day joint custody was non existent.

 

How is joint custody established?

 

I thought courts preferred joint custody these days.

 

My FI's ex didn't want full custody (she was against it), so joint custody was always agreed upon.

[tbf]

iris, you're headed down the road to a lot of resentment. With many jurisdictions, it's defined by income level where the greater income earner bucks up.

 

Unless you're being made to buck up more than your 50% between yourself and your fiance, I wouldn't go there. Even if the courts don't demand your fiance pay the amount he's currently paying, if he's the spouse who left, it might be a form of guilt money.

[iris219]

iris, you're headed down the road to a lot of resentment. With many jurisdictions, it's defined by income level where the greater income earner bucks up.

 

Unless you're being made to buck up more than your 50% between yourself and your fiance, I wouldn't go there. Even if the courts don't demand your fiance pay the amount he's currently paying, if he's the spouse who left, it might be a form of guilt money.

 

You're right. It just seems unfair.

 

They didn't have a happy marriage, but it ended when he found naked pictures she was sending to some guy and pics of the guy's penis on her phone. He doesn't feel guilty.

[lollipopspot]

but he doesn't want to bother fighting over it.

 

He doesn't want to bother.

 

You are the one who is upset.

 

Really think this situation through, if you are going to marry this man. Because you saying, "it's not fair," etc. about the arrangements for his child with his ex, while he is not overly concerned with it, is a recipe for marital disaster.

 

I think you need to accept the situation if you're going to be with him. You say her boyfriend pays for some of her expenses, as though it's your concern. But if you share you life with this man, you'll be sharing some of his expenses. When you're married you're REALLY going to resent what you see as your money going to the ex/child. If you're seeing the money that goes towards support of his child as YOUR money that's being wasted on someone who doesn't need it, while you have no control over the situation, that's going to eat at you.

 

You're setting this up to be a battle between ex wife and new wife.

 

This is the complication of being with someone with children. Think it through carefully!

[tbf]

You're right. It just seems unfair.

 

They didn't have a happy marriage, but it ended when he found naked pictures she was sending to some guy and pics of the guy's penis on her phone. He doesn't feel guilty.

The guilt might be for the children and breaking apart the family, even though he had good reason to do so. Parental feelings aren't rational.

[iris219]

He doesn't want to bother.

 

You are the one who is upset.

 

Really think this situation through, if you are going to marry this man. Because you saying, "it's not fair," etc. about the arrangements for his child with his ex, while he is not overly concerned with it, is a recipe for marital disaster.

 

I think you need to accept the situation if you're going to be with him. You say her boyfriend pays for some of her expenses, as though it's your concern. But if you share you life with this man, you'll be sharing some of his expenses. When you're married you're REALLY going to resent what you see as your money going to the ex/child. If you're seeing the money that goes towards support of his child as YOUR money that's being wasted on someone who doesn't need it, while you have no control over the situation, that's going to eat at you.

 

You're setting this up to be a battle between ex wife and new wife.

 

This is the complication of being with someone with children. Think it through carefully!

 

I have already decided against joint bank accounts when we get married so we will keep our expenses as separate as possible.

 

I have no problem supporting the children when they are with us.

 

He's annoyed about a few things, but he got to a point where he just wanted the divorce to be over with and she was dragging it out over money. He's says he wants to never deal with her again if possible (which isn't entirely because of the kids).

[RonaldS]

He makes more so, in our state, I think he does have to pay. Initially, she said she'd agree not to ask for child support since he does so much already, but she reneged on that and wanted anything she could get.

 

It doesn't seem fair. Her BF pays many of her bills as well, which I know courts don't take into consideration.

 

He could get her to pay 1/2 the after school costs but he doesn't want to bother fighting over it.

 

 

 

I thought courts preferred joint custody these days.

 

My FI's ex didn't want full custody (she was against it), so joint custody was always agreed upon.

 

What state are you in?

[iris219]

What state are you in?

 

We're in the south.

[jwi71]

How many here with joint custody pay or receive child support?

 

50-50 custody with xW.

No CS.

 

What are your feelings about one party having to pay child support when both parties already support the children 50% of the time?

 

Patently stupid. What will you do - write a 1000.00 check (making the number up) when she has them and then receive a 1000.00 check when you do? Stupid - no net there at all except hassle.

 

My xW pays for daycare when she has them, I pay when I have them. We split everything else - medical, dental, school trips, extra-curriculars, and so on.

[pyramid]

In my state there is a calculation for CS based on income, costs (daycare, insurance premiums) and % of time with the child(ren). They dump your financials in, and it tells the court how much is paid to whom. In my case, my ex makes significantly less money than I do, but he moved far away (3 hour flight) and has less than 10% of days with our child, so he pays me each month. I use the money to pay for babysitters to have nights off - nights that our child would otherwise be with his dad if he were local.

 

If we had 50/50, I'd likely be paying him. The calc is intended to give the lower-earning parent enough money to help equalize the two living situations for the child's sake.