my girlfriend of 10 years left me, will i ever get her back?

[bebesaurio]

hi, hope you can help me , and tell me what you think. ill try to summarize. my girlfriend left me almost 4 months ago. im 25 and she is 24, we were together for almost 10 years, since we´re 15 and 14. all was good, we in love she was my 1 girlfriend and so was i to her. we both got into similar careers, but i could make it to get into 1 of the best universities in my country and best in my city, I've always been the good in school.almost 4 years ago I had to stop my studies because my dad died and things were no good with money in my house. so i even though i was no necessary i started to work to get my own money, for almost 2 year i worked and got money just for me, she and i went out to movies or dinners every weekend, we had really good times when i was working, but after 2 years things were ok in home so i could start studing againg. when i came back to college i was in my in my 5 semester of 10, and i think she was in her 9 or 10 maybe. im not gonna lie, i did bad in college this time i dont know what happend but i was failing courses and a lot of them per semester.. and i could work because schedules didnt allow to, and i had no money i was literally in ruin, the times we went out she lent money, i tried to look for a job and got few but nothing work, so its like when you try to do something and you feel nothings work, and you lose hope.i felt that way something. she asked me to switch to another uneversity, the reasons were cause in another institution i was able to work the whole day and study at night, and also becasue others university are way easier. but i didnt want to do it because I thought i was going to felt like a looser cause all my friend of my 1 year could make it and i didnt, this happened in oct 2012, last year for in this same month things were worst, she got her tittle as professional and i still was an student, i saw my relationship going down and i decided to switch to another university, but when i went they told me they had to put me 1 year down, i mean i was in my 6 semester in this new one ill be on 4 semester, i didnt like that so i didnt switch, in june of 2013 i talked to her to finish the relationship because she was gettin really rude with me for everything, all was a fight and she was really rude,

 

for that time i looked for a job and got a goob one, during 1 month i focused on me, everything was good ( didnt call her o look for her, nothing. she texted me 3 weeks later) 1 month later was her dad bithday. i went to her house ( forgot to mention she lives two blocks from my house, thats 1 min from my house to her) we talked and fixed everything. all went good almost until oct went things were bad in my job, she still was with me but i felt the same thing like before and all because i had no money and my job wasnt that good ( she had a job). in dic she talked to me, she told me if I had realized that she had not told me she loves me long time ago, she said that she didnt feel the same and she care about me because it was 10 years with her and her only boyfriend but that she wasnt in love anymore, i told her i knew it. my birthday its 24 january, she said she wanted to be with me as couple that date and end everything ending the month maybe jan 30, I accepted for me was like trying to be more time with her.

 

NOW COMES THE BEST

 

 

2013 ended, it was jan 13 and i couldnt hold no more, i called her to her phone, she was warking and told her to i wanted to end things that day because that was hard for me. few days before something in her facebook happend she added a guy i have never heard before i didnt say anything in that moment just to stay ok with her. well my birthday came she went to my house gave me a gift we talked. she told me something like she wasnt with me anymore because i was unable to provide her all she needs i cried and bla bla bla. 1 month later and i was terrible, lost almost 15 kgs looked like a dead body. somehow 2 of her whatsapp conversation came to my email. i still dont know how but its true. one of this conversations its with the guy she added on fb days before we broke up and the other is with a friend of her that i know.

to her friend she tells all, the way she met this guys was in a bus, this guy gave her a piece of paper there he wrote " you are beautiful" and his name. when i read this it was really disappointing for me, how can she let someone she doesnt know get into her live, she doesnt know if this guy was a abuser or something, never mind, she said to her friend she liked this guy she wanted something with him but during this month they never got face to face just text. i talked to her about this we had a fight BIG ONE, talked to her parents about this, they felt bad was really big. 1 week later she sent me a mail saying she felt bad for all she did, saying thanks for make her understand that she was an innocent and bla bla bla. didnt answer. 3 weeks later she gave me a call saying she wanted to see me, asking me to go to her house, i went we talked, she got impressed because i was way better ( went to the gym and was getting in shape, got my abs) she asked me to be her friend, she said that she missed me and bla bla. and after that she try to provoke me touch me but i left her bed and her house. 2 weeks later was her birthday i didnt call her, 1 day later we got face to face ( like 3 meters from the other)

and i didnt say nothing to her. 3 day later i went to her house ( i still talk to her mom few times) and what a coincidence that day she did not work, we talk and after few mims her mom had to leave the house, and i convince her to had sex,

3 days after i went again to her house and i asked her why she let this happened, i told her something like this :"I know neither of us are indispensable in the life of the other and that both can live without the other, but i still love you and wanna try it again, dont wanna loose 10 year just like that " then she said something like: "I feel that it is too late,I was hoping you look for me during the first month we broke up,I made plans for my life and you're not in them if I go back with you, I'd be doing for you and not for me and now I want to think about my" i told her it was ok, i couldnt hate her but i had to leave her life definitely and we could talk no more. and i left her house. later at night she texted me saying hi, i texted back saying just hi. she did not like my answer said it was simple, she asked me if it bothered me, i said i was bussy and she said ok bye. 2 days later i texted her, saying not to text me again because i still love her and if i was not going to be her boyfriend i wont be nothing more. asked her to help me to forget her. she said this was hard for her as well, but she didnt feel it was out moment , and she didnt wanted to close this door because she didnt know if i was the person for her. and the end told her not to talk to me again. this was 30 of march i havent call her or look for her sincethis last time. 10 days ago we got face to face, she came to me said hi and a kiss in my cheek, then she said like " i didnt know if come to you and say hi"

i ignored that and wished a nice day and took my bus. Thats my history

 

Now comes my questions. im way better now, dont think about her too much like before, my physique is much better since i got into the gym, i had sex with other girls but sometimes i remember about her.

 

now does she ever think on me, she cant say a bad thing about me i was really good with her, i mean i was a good boyfriend, and id like to know if she will ever come back to me saying that was wrong, that she regrets about it that she miss me a love me.

i know its stupid but its what comes to me sometimes.

 

thank you

[realfriends]

This was hard to read, so ill just answer your title.

 

Yes. No. Maybe. Should it matter?

 

No.

 

You need to heal. You just got out of a 10 year relationship. Its going to take a long time to heal, but theres no better day to start than today. Go NC and go NC today.

[bebesaurio]

No. This is over. You need to go and stay in No Contact.

What she does now, or in the future really should not concern you, because she is definitely your ex.

 

What you need to do is to focus and concentrate on your own life.

 

you got together very young and truth be known as you both developed you grew apart, and in different ways.

And that's ok.

Don't hanker after the past.

 

it's over, gone done and dusted.

 

Walk forward, and do not look back.

 

 

im in NC now, im not looking for her or calling her at all, since last time we had sex ( almost 1 month), im feeling way better than before, i dont think too much in her, im in the gym, having sex with other girls, im not wasting my day thinking about her, but i just dont want to lose her completely, i know that the only way we can go back together is if she looks for me again because i cant do that, but i just dont want to watch her go for ever

[Jiivy]

It's quite hard to understand the dialogue you've put up there mate. Ugh, it sounds like your pressures at University really overtook your priorities in the relationship.

 

Something had to break and it was that. As cliché as it sounds, I think a good deal of time apart and some serious thinking would do you both some good.

 

Things devloved in to arguments and rudeness even before you call it quits.

 

NC, go for TaraMaiden's advice and really, really think about it for it a while....then step in to the future of your life