Soverysad123 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I would like to break NC right now and say... "I had just finished a project which was quite successful.. I am really happy right now.." I want to hear his reply...and start a conversation with him... But...I know I cannot... Ah. I know how you feel. Stay strong. Reading on hear really helps. I know that my A ending is the best thing for my children and I really want to make my M work but, there is always a but, I miss him so deeply and just want him in my life somehow. I know it's not possible to have him in my life, have happy children and a strong M but it doesn't change the fact that I want him in my life. You can do this, if you did contact him, what would happen? How would that make you feel? When you share so much and then can't it leaves you lost. Well done for finishing the project. My exMM said he needs time and he may call me in 6 weeks, he said this last week. Yesterday I just had a huge need to know how he is, so I texted him saying I know it's been 6 days not 6 weeks but how are you. He did reply saying, he hopes I am well and we can chat in 6 weeks. What is he trying to work out? I suppose he is trying to heal, so in six weeks he can say good bye. I know that the best thing is for that to happen because I can't juggle all of the balls at the same time. Although I want to. But my babies must come first. Link to post Share on other sites
P1nginLOVE Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Ah. I know how you feel. Stay strong. Reading on hear really helps. I know that my A ending is the best thing for my children and I really want to make my M work but, there is always a but, I miss him so deeply and just want him in my life somehow. I know it's not possible to have him in my life, have happy children and a strong M but it doesn't change the fact that I want him in my life. You can do this, if you did contact him, what would happen? How would that make you feel? Still has strong feelings for him and I want to know how he is doing...is he angry that I suddenly disappear without warning this time...while last week, we celebrated his Bday over lunch at my fav restaurant. But I would not feel good...I am single, but I do not wish to hurt his W. I didn't contact him of course... When you share so much and then can't it leaves you lost. Well done for finishing the project. My exMM said he needs time and he may call me in 6 weeks, he said this last week. Yesterday I just had a huge need to know how he is, so I texted him saying I know it's been 6 days not 6 weeks but how are you. He did reply saying, he hopes I am well and we can chat in 6 weeks. What is he trying to work out? I suppose he is trying to heal, so in six weeks he can say good bye. I know that the best thing is for that to happen because I can't juggle all of the balls at the same time. Although I want to. But my babies must come first. You must be feeling so torn apart... Same...I also awfully want someone I cannot have...and someone I cannot trust actually... As he could cheat on his W and be with me without showing any regrets...God knows when he would cheat on me.. At least you have a H... I pray that you will find the chemistry w him again... Link to post Share on other sites
Soverysad123 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 P1ingLove thank you. I really hope you manage that NC. I know in my heart of hearts that's the only way to heal, go through the pain but I know it's easier said than done. I have my fingers crossed that I can find just a little spark for my husband too. The time I spent emailing and replying to text from exMM I am trying to put that same effort into my H text etc. Slowly slowly I hope we will get there. I am being realistic because I need to get over MM and that's not going to happen over night. Have a fab day and stay strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 YOU WILL GET THERE. When the blinders come off, be ready to see very clearly the place you were at, and where you are today. For me, I am no longer in love with him. I am repulsed and disgusted by him, and his attempts to believe I am the same person that I was after leaving that marriage. One of the last things he said to me, was that he was proud of taking me from my husband. That sent off a real alarm bell, what kind of person would be proud of having the person they love go through so much pain, my kids went through pain ... and he was PROUD of making us all go through it. Not anything I can respect, nor anything I would ever return to .. that's not love - that's Sadism. Link to post Share on other sites
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