"Innocent" Flirting

[kjohn]

I'm curious…do you believe that there is such a thing as "innocent" flirting?

 

Let's say you are in a committed relationship and you have absolutely no intention or desire to be unfaithful to your partner. You are very happily committed. Is it ok to flirt with someone of the opposite sex? Ever?

 

Let's say you have low self-esteem and being the recipient of "innocent" flirting gives your ego a little kick. Is that ok as long as it never advances beyond the "innocent" flirt every now and then?

 

Or do you believe that flirting with someone outside of your relationship damages the integrity of the relationship and should be avoided at all costs?

[Phoe]

I personally don't believe in doing so. I am taken, and flirting is not for me.

 

Others opinions will vary on this, though.

[TalesoftheWireMonkey]

It's a slippery slope to sexy times.

 

I started out flirting with a married woman at work and thought it was safe when she flirted back because she was in a committed relationship. Next thing I knew she left her husband and we were together many years.

 

I had very low self-esteem and it felt good to get that attention but the thing you have to remember the person you are flirting with has needs too.

 

 

If you are flirting with someone you see on a regular basis like friends or co-workers you are playing with fire.

If it's less flirty and more anonymous with people you aren't likely to see again like a check-out person or a waiter maybe not as much.

 

It's never fair to your significant other to flirt with anyone but we don't live in a social vacuum and men and women notice each other. However you may want to ask yourself what is lacking in your relationship that you feel like you need that little kick?

[iiiii]

It's only innocent if you'd be happy doing it in front of your partner.

 

If the flirting is at a level where you woudn't want your partner to see or know about it, because you know they'd be upset, then it's not innocent.

 

In most relationships, that doesn't leave room for much flirting with other people.

[somedude81]

It's amazing how many women do the innocent flirting thing with me.

 

As a single guy who is looking for a girlfriend, it's extremely confusing when girls are very friendly and giving me hugs, being touchy with me, then telling me about their boyfriends.

[kjohn]

It's only innocent if you'd be happy doing it in front of your partner.

 

This is exactly how I feel.

 

I was just curious how others felt, because it does seem to me that there are many people in this world who are in committed relationships and are out there doing things they really shouldn't be doing….things could lead down a very slippery slope.

 

My motto has always been, if you wouldn't do it in front of your SO, you shouldn't be doing it.

 

It's a great morality check….if you're thinking about doing something and it occurs to you that it would hurt, upset or offend your SO…you likely should not do it, IMO.

[d0nnivain]

I flirt constantly. My husband jokes that I could no more stop flirting then I could stop breathing.

 

 

Yes, the ego kick is nice but I have a healthy self esteem without it. If it's your only source of validation & it's all external that is another issue altogether.

 

 

To me innocent flirting is about interaction but to remain innocent it has to be rated G - PG. While I will throw around words like handsome, cute or nice looking, I refrain from the word sexy. Some touching is OK -- hands & arms. A kiss on the cheek is OK. Beyond that If my husband gets uncomfortable or the guy starts to take me seriously, I back off.

 

 

For example, my husband & I were visiting his brother over the weekend. We were in a bar with a good band, & one of my BIL's buddies asked me to dance. I'd never met the guy. I like to dance. DH does not but he told me to go ahead & dance with his brother's buddy. When the buddy stepped behind on me to grind on me I stepped forward, turned around & wagged my finger out him, playfully saying "no, no, no." The buddy backed off a little but spun around like I should grind on him. He bent over & wiggled his butt at me. Again, I stepped backwards away from him & put both of my hands up & slightly over my mouth in sort a Victorian embarrassment pose "on my!" . . . everyone around us laughed at my antics. The guy apologized but at that point, my husband the non-dancer stepped onto the dance floor to get me away from the buddy.

 

 

There's flirting which is harmless & innocent but there is behavior that crosses lines. The most important part is to make sure your SO is secure in your relationship & they know they are # one & you need to not do things that upset them. Some of it is compatibility. I couldn't be with someone who couldn't handle my flirty ways. Focus on communication & trust.