L1ght Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 This is a pretty simple one and I'm sure its true for everyone. When we aren't looking for someone its probably a really good indication that we are happy being alone and know how to find enjoyment/fulfilment in life without someone to "complete" us because we are already complete on our own(assuming any previous trauma/heartache has been dealt with that is). IMO its the best time to fall in love again. I mean we literally are the best possible version of ourselves that we could be. Happy in our own skin, love for life, passion for our interests, motivation to succeed and improve things....etc. Its a no-brainer really. If you are a confident, happy, positive, energetic, fun and outgoing person(which is generally where a person should be once they have re-learnt how to be happy alone again) then you will attract people regardless of if you are looking or not. Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 (edited) You have much to learn about women young grasshopper. Show me a guy who thinks that looks are that important and I will show you someone who really doesn't get how women work. Yes, people (which includes women last I checked) size up others very quickly, in a matter of seconds. Yes, women have types they are into just as guys have types they are into. But most of the time, whether a woman finds you attractive has less to do with facial features or height and more to do with mannerisms, posture, how you carry yourself, and so on. [stuff that takes only a few seconds to notice. And yes, stuff that PUA does attempt to address.] So you might THINK you got rejected due to your "looks" but depending on how you look at it, it's probably really not the reason why. On the one hand, you didn't get rejected due to your eyes were so close to each other or your forehead was too big. But on the other hand, confidence just naturally makes a guy more handsome/much better-looking, giving him "looks". So there you go, if you look at it that way maybe "looks" are that important after all.. This is so true. I've lost count of the amount of women who weren't initially attracted to me but once they got to know me started to have feelings towards me. I would say about 5 of my ex's initially told me they weren't attracted to me at all yet I still ended up having relationships with them. Its not all about looks with women, initially it is but a guy with a silver tongue can easily pull above his weight if he says the right words at the right time. The key is putting yourself in a situation where you can truly express yourself to the woman you are interested in. Confidence and personality are a guys best friend when it comes to pursuing women. Edited April 30, 2014 by L1ght Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 A good friend of mine had some awesome advice for me a couple of years back. She reckoned that the best way to find someone special was to make a real effort to participate in the activities you love. Whether that's some sort of sports, creative work, volunteer work, whatever. Her rationale was that you'll be meeting new people so you're bound to find someone sooner or later, and when you do, it will be someone who loves the same things that you do. Plus you'll be happy in the meantime because you're doing what you like to do. Sounds simple, but worked for both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted May 17, 2014 Share Posted May 17, 2014 It's worked for me every time. But then I never actively looked, letting things happen as they will. Link to post Share on other sites
Rar0 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Not true it's another cliche saying Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 In my case, I was actively searching! I was single for 5 years (heck actually almost all my life) and wasn't looking, and of course didnt get anywhere. For 5 freaking years. but I was happy as heck. Then one day, I received a tip from the universe to start an account in OLD, and bam! Got myself a boyfriend in 11 days! I guess in order for you to find someone, you must first have your eyes opened, with one palm out with what you can offer, and one palm out with what you expect to receive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I dont like that sentence ! Some of my friends in relationship always tell me that. The problem is that they were actively looking before getting in relationship..... like I said month ago if you dont look , you will miss opportunity ! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 When I croak and go to heaven, she'll be waiting there for me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ZipperZapper Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Here's a simpler way of putting it. The better you look, the easier it is. And if you're ugly, like me, you have no chance at all. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 And if you're ugly, like me, you have no chance at all. Have you considered making improvements to your appearance, as people have suggested in your other threads? Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Why do you meet them when you're not looking? Because when you're not looking, genuinely not looking, as in you are genuinely happy and fulfilled with your life the way it is, then you project confidence and happiness. That's attractive. When you're looking too hard, you can project neediness and desperation. Not attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZipperZapper Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 There are women who would die if they were alone who hop from guy to guy.. And I'm sure that there are guys like that too, even if they're more reserved about the fact that they NEED to be with someone.. Meanwhile, some of us don't attract anyone period. We didn't attract anyone when we stopped caring and (metaphorically speaking) got a beer belly, lost all of our hair, and stopped caring what anyone thought and started just acting like it didn't matter and just acted like ourselves un-apologetically. And, what a surprising coincidence, we didn't attract anyone when we cared, either. In other words, you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. There's just no way to win, is there? Link to post Share on other sites
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