greenhorn Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 So I am back at Forum. To cut the long story short we ended up a relationship which was for 7 years (6 years happy and 1 year bitter).It ended when she dumped me after i found that she was lying and cheating me. Now the problem is that since the relationship was since so long everyone knew us.So to avoid any discussion about her i ended all contacts with our mutual friends and since i am in this foreign country it helped as well. This morning my Brother-in-law came online and after the customary hi -hello he asked me how is she ? i couldnt be rude to him(cause he is my BIL) so i just said please dont discuss about her and that made him more curious and he started asking more. I said i am not in contact with her and he said this is ridiculous how can you people end it just like this. Well the thing is i was in the 6th week of NC and he made all the memory fresh and then i was not able to work for the whole day and kept on thinking.I am able to handle crisis but this situation i am so weak that i cant handle it somehow makes me go off the track. I still dont know how to face my friends cause eventually when i go to back to my country i will meet them and they would ask me about her.I know my sister would ask and my mom would ask(by the way my mom never liked that girl). What you people do when you are in similar situation.I know i am bit immature to handle this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
ion Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Be honest. Tell people who are not talking with her or about her at the moment because you need some space and time to move on with your life. And then say thank you for asking about it, I appreciate your concern. Link to post Share on other sites
MissingHerBad Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn So I am back at Forum. To cut the long story short we ended up a relationship which was for 7 years (6 years happy and 1 year bitter).It ended when she dumped me after i found that she was lying and cheating me. Now the problem is that since the relationship was since so long everyone knew us.So to avoid any discussion about her i ended all contacts with our mutual friends and since i am in this foreign country it helped as well. This morning my Brother-in-law came online and after the customary hi -hello he asked me how is she ? i couldnt be rude to him(cause he is my BIL) so i just said please dont discuss about her and that made him more curious and he started asking more. I said i am not in contact with her and he said this is ridiculous how can you people end it just like this. Well the thing is i was in the 6th week of NC and he made all the memory fresh and then i was not able to work for the whole day and kept on thinking.I am able to handle crisis but this situation i am so weak that i cant handle it somehow makes me go off the track. I still dont know how to face my friends cause eventually when i go to back to my country i will meet them and they would ask me about her.I know my sister would ask and my mom would ask(by the way my mom never liked that girl). What you people do when you are in similar situation.I know i am bit immature to handle this situation. So unfortunate, but I am in the same position. I started coming here in October. Ive been able to make lots of progress and though I had moved on, coming on here once and a while to see how everyone is. Lastnight we were having drinks and one of my friends mentioned that he had seen my ex at a restaurant with two other guys. I know one to be here boyfriend. Instantly, like I knife had gone back into my heart, I started to trip out. I came home and wrote an email to her...I wasnt going to send and I accidently did. Now I feel awful but in two regards. I shouldnt have sent the email and I didnt want to know about her. So now here I am again in shambles thinking about the same old stuff. I can feel my depression coming back. I can also feel my hostility level rise. I know this sounds bad but I feel like smacking them both around. Its so f***in irratating!!! Any suggestions out there? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Funny you posted. I was just thinking about you last night and was going to send you a PM to see how you were doing. Unfortunately, this is a part of the breaking up that you will be faced with. What you may consider doing is just sending out an email to everyone letting them know that you are doing well, but that you and she have decided to follow different paths in life. State that you would prefer not to be questioned regarding the specifics of this event. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenhorn Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Thanks for remembering me Pocky, Yeah i understand this is a part of breaking up process and how ever hard i try i need to face this.I Cant let everyone know cause i know there are some ppl would be more than happy to hear this and even if they would got to know what happened they would ask me just to relish my situation. There are others whom i can request this and they wont ask again.Basically during my graduate studies there were lot of guys who didint like me going steady with her and these are the guys whom i hate and ironical thing is that i know that she is now in touch with these very guys and by now she would have proudly told them how she dumped me. But i have decided to move on and however painful it is i would move on,just as "MissingHerBad" mentioned, it throws me off-track from the 'moving on' process. Thanks bye.... Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Basically during my graduate studies there were lot of guys who didint like me going steady with her and these are the guys whom i hate and ironical thing is that i know that she is now in touch with these very guys and by now she would have proudly told them how she dumped me. The only person that would look bad if she were going around tell people she dumped you would be her. I wouldn't worry too much about what people think about you. And as far as people asking you to share the history with them, sometimes you just have to be an ass. You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. Tell them you're not interested in going through the story again and if they persist, tell them to piss off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenhorn Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 yeah you are right Pocky, i need to face the situation with courage.I would do that i take time to do things but eventually i do them. Thanks for your constant support and encouagement looking fwd for more ...... Link to post Share on other sites
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