jacg89 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year. we've known and have been hanging out for over 2 years. my grandmother has known him over 10 years, as he lives upstairs from her, and about 2 years ago i moved in with my grandmother. My whole family loves him. Since we have been together, he hasn't slept upstairs in his own bed in months. we spend all of our time together if we are both not working. I am in love with him, and he is as well. Thing is, in my only other relationship ever, my ex was a liar. a really good liar. he broke my heart, and its so hard for me to trust my boyfriend now. I DO trust him, I really do. But there is just one thing... Since I've known him, he brings up his ex in normal conversations, regularly. Things they used to do together, that she is a grouch, he compares her to one of the girls that we know. About 2 weeks ago, I asked him if he misses her, and he said no.. (he broke up with her about 3 years ago, but they were going to get married. they were together over 4 years. she was his only serious gf. he broke up with her because she was stage5 clinger, grouchy, and she just wanted it to be her & him, always.. no one else around.) he said just because he talks about her once in a while doesnt mean that he misses her. In my only other relationship, I was infatuated with him.When we broke up, my heart shattered. I was also with him over 4 years. But now that I am with my bf, I am so happy I never think about my ex. ( I got over my ex before my bf and I became 'official'.) My mom said not to worry, really, because they have been together for 3 years and all of his memories are with her, so in the beginning he is going to think about the memories until we make our own. but then she said she doesnt understand why it is still going on after 3 years of being broken up. Do you think that this is normal? Should I be worried that he really is not over her? We plan to get married in the next few months, as he wants to spend forever with me, but he does need to go back to his country to see his family that he hasn't seen in over 12 years. he is not ready to marry "for love..." but more of for the papers. Though it is for the papers, we are obviously a real couple. We are not going to have a wedding huge party here in america, but in his country when I go there with him. Before we even talked about it, I knew that I wanted to marry him. (I fell for him, hard) Now that we are planning it, I have no doubts about us, but I do feel uncomfortable thinking about how he thinks about his ex so much. (Perhaps maybe because the other day I seen a picture of him and his ex on a family members facebook page from 2009.. they looked so 'inlove') ugh. Edited April 23, 2014 by jacg89 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Wait, what????!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!!!! He's not ready to marry you for love, just for papers but he wants to spend forever with you..... and you are OK with this? I don't even care about your post going on about whether he's over his ex or not, I'm more worried about why you're OK with this? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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