andrew2020 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 My ex and I broke up over a year ago but the sad thing is I still miss her. We were together for almost 7 years until she cheated on me, then left me for the guy and told everyone I was a crappy boyfriend. Things were good to a point, but I guess i missed the red flags. She had told me at one point how she was in love with the guy and when i protested she said not to worry because he was in a different country. I asked her, what would happen if he comes here, and she said on't worry about that, well he came her and well that happened. I would like to believe I treated her good. i used to cook, clean, wash her clothes, take care of her when she was sick, buy her flowers and so on. I missed final exams to take care of her when she was sick. We went through a rough patch, but we managed to work things out. Nothing horrible happened, we were just growing distant. When she cheated I took week of from work, to spend with her and try and work things out, and then literally the next day she tells me she is breaking up with me because i didn't consider her feelings. I didn't give her space when she cheated on me. I am in a much better place now, but I still miss her sometimes. I think of her and the guy together and it kills me. A couple of my friends actually knows the guy and they said how he is known for this. A big time player, who does and says whatever he can to get at a girl :/. But they together for over a year now, so maybe there happy. Anyways Any advice on how I can try and move on with my life. I hate caring so much and feeling like crap at times, even though I know I wasn't the one at wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 If someone is cheating on you, and after that dump you, and after all this she tells her friends you were a crappy boyfriend, She is not the kind of girl you want to be with. The only thing you should take care of is your senses and your ability to identify this kind of quality in any girl. because obviously you didnt pay attention that over the 7 years you've been together. You didnt look at her real personality that time. If someone cheats, and dump you, at least she should have minimum dignity not to slander about you. She did it because she couldn't stand to be the bad guy, so she had to manipulate reality to draw a picture in which she was the victim and you were the crappy one. UUUGGGHHH 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cpt Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 (edited) Hey OP, I am sorry you're going through this. How to get on with your life and move on from this cheating salute: 1. Get more $$$ 2. Meet new people 3. Travel 4. Become more self aware 5. Become less of a pushover 6. Be a better you - looks, health etc. 7. Date around No excuses OP, all of those things must be done. Oh btw she cheated on you AND decided to leave you for that guy... Tell me what it is exactly you "care" about. Abandon the "caring for cheating salute ex gf" ship man! EDIT: lolablue i'm on board with what you say and i'm just as enraged by OP's ex' post break up slandering as well. Edited April 24, 2014 by Cpt 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author andrew2020 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 ok thanks. I guess the hardest thing, is trying to understand someone saying they love u and being nice to you then completely changing the net day. And I also can't handle people dirtying my name. but thank you for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Cpt Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 People can talk **** man. Its better to look at their actions next time. Actions speak louder than words. I guess since you said you missed the red flags, you wouldn't have been able to see with her actions at the time that she does not love you, she was just saying it. Hey don't beat yourself up. You were in love, and you will come out of this a better person out of this experience. You deserve so much better than your ex and you will find better very soon if you remain positive and focus on bettering yourself. Stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 ok thanks. I guess the hardest thing, is trying to understand someone saying they love u and being nice to you then completely changing the net day. And I also can't handle people dirtying my name. but thank you for the advice. Unfortunately she was just saying these things to keep the peace but in her heart she had already had thoughts about breaking up with you. It sucks. But you need to stop focusing on her now. Stop putting her on this pedestal. She is just another female and you will find love again. Let it go. The quicker you do this, the less it will hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Cpt Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Unfortunately she was just saying these things to keep the peace but in her heart she had already had thoughts about breaking up with you. It sucks. But you need to stop focusing on her now. Stop putting her on this pedestal. She is just another female and you will find love again. Let it go. The quicker you do this, the less it will hurt Took the words right out of my mouth. Exactly this OP, especially bolded part! Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Read back at what you just wrote. Print it out and stick it on a wall. Look at it everyday for a month. Then rip it off and throw it in the bin or burn it.. and promise yourself never ever ever act that way again. You essentially become a doormat. You cooked, cleaned, wiped her nose when it was snotty, meanwhile bad boy entered stage left, whispered sweet nothings in her ear and made her feel sexy..more importantly he didn't pander to her. What happened when you found out she cheated, you took a week of work to beg her back! Any respect she had for you flew out the window then. Go date other girls dude, get your mind off her, it's been a year and she's long gone. Time to be happy, but for gods sake stop being overly nice! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author andrew2020 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 hmm, I understand. Thanks very much guys for the support. And you all are right, i am sure there is someone out there who would appreciate me more. Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author andrew2020 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 If someone is cheating on you, and after that dump you, and after all this she tells her friends you were a crappy boyfriend, She is not the kind of girl you want to be with. The only thing you should take care of is your senses and your ability to identify this kind of quality in any girl. because obviously you didnt pay attention that over the 7 years you've been together. You didnt look at her real personality that time. If someone cheats, and dump you, at least she should have minimum dignity not to slander about you. She did it because she couldn't stand to be the bad guy, so she had to manipulate reality to draw a picture in which she was the victim and you were the crappy one. UUUGGGHHH That last ling you wrote about not wanting to be the bad guy. I didn't see it like that but it make sense. She was all sad when we broke up and then a week later she said "Technically i didn't cheat on you, because my heart wasn't in the relationship, but if you need to tell yourself that to feel better, then go ahead. Hmmm but they say what goes around comes around. hope she will be able to deal with all the guilt. Thanks very much Link to post Share on other sites
HomanWater Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 That last ling you wrote about not wanting to be the bad guy. I didn't see it like that but it make sense. She was all sad when we broke up and then a week later she said "Technically i didn't cheat on you, because my heart wasn't in the relationship, but if you need to tell yourself that to feel better, then go ahead. Hmmm but they say what goes around comes around. hope she will be able to deal with all the guilt. Thanks very much She's a scum. Whatever she says has no value and you can disregard it as gibberish. Link to post Share on other sites
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