Currently not on speaking terms with my parents and sister

[Sportsfan1281]

This is a long story so I will try and get to the point. My wife and I will be married 5 years this July. Since I got engaged my sister has been a headache due to her jealousy. We asked my sister and her family to be in the wedding they accepted and than the jealousy kicked. So my sister and my wife had words and than my sister and her family backed out of the wedding and cried poverty. I was still the better person and still invited them. Then 4 weeks later she went to disney with her family after crying poverty.

 

My sister has my parents wrapped around her finger and do whatever she wants in order to make her happy and me I am just the path of least resistance. I tried numerous times to reconcile with my sister but was turned away each time. So my mother couldn't deal with the fact that my sister and I are not speaking. So she tried to blame my wife that it was her fault I have an issue with my sister because we never had issues in the past. That is only because I was guilty of doing whatever to make my sister happy.

 

My sister and brother in law have a lot of financial issues because they love above their means and my sister doesn't work and he is in the mortgage business. My wife is an auditor so she is their worst enemy. So my

Father was having some financial difficulties as well so my wife tried to help him because he is financially savvy. But it was then uncovered that he thought he cosigned my the loan for my sisters house but they duped him into being the sole owner because he believed whatever they say. It was uncovered that they forged my dads name to a faulty home equity loan saying that my sister was married to my father. My parents excuse was oh they must of checked a wrong box. Again my parents are not intelligent when

It comes to finances. They once this was uncovered they said that is their busy and it is none of our business after they asked for the help. So my sisters house is in foreclosure as well as my parents house because my father is so in debt because of being the owner of 2 houses. But my parents are ok with what was done to them and just make excuses.

 

My wife is the scapegoat. She was blamed for turning in the illegal apartment in my sisters house which she did not. Then my wife was accused of turning my sister and her family for Medicaid Fraud again which she did not do. My sister said she was given my wife's name as the person who turned them in. My mother said she was their and heard it also. If my sister did commit fraud then the Medicaid office will not accommodate her and give her that information. Fraud claims are kept confidential anyway. But my parents insist my wife did it because she is intelligent when it comes to that stuff. I spoke the director and he said their was only an anonymous complaint nothing with my wife's name. My parents did not what to hear it. So this put my wife over the top and had words with my parents.

 

So then my father sign a cease and desist letter with my sister and brother in law saying my wife used her job to gain financial information and sent the letter to her job and CPA board they also sent the same letter to my mother in laws job saying because my dad banks in her bank she was looking into his accounts. So my father was ok doing this because he feels it is the truth. My mother said my wife turned them in for the fraud and she is sticking to that.

 

In all of this my wife and I had our 2nd child and refused to have my children be around my parents because I don't want them exposed to this behavior. Am I wrong for that? I told them they can see the kids if they do the right thing but they refuse to go against my sister because they know she will flip out and so the just cater to her. Not realizing I am their child also.

 

I haven't seen or spoken to my father in about 2 years. My grandmother recently passed away (his mother). So I ridiculed because I didn't call him but I am still am so angry with him and just couldn't. At the wake I contemplated going up to him but as soon as I walked in he turned his back. So I chose to keep silent for the wake and funeral and mourned my grandmothers loss without saying a word to my parents. This pissed my mother off and she tried her hardest to create a scene but I felt not the right place and time to start anything. I felt like an outcast because the rest of my family feels I should brush this under the carpet and respect my parents. I said I can't get passed what they have done. One family member said that my father is waiting for an apology from my wife and I. That is because they have only heard my Parents side of the story and refuse to hear mine. So now I feel I am the black sheep of the family because I am sticking up for myself and my wife instead of giving in I feel bad for my kids because the rest of the family is uncomfortable being around my kids because I am not letting my parents be apart of their lives. My sister the fraudster continues to get rewarded and praised because she treats my parents well. She has it just the way she wants as I come off as the bad one and she is the good one. Do you think I handled the funeral correctly? Would you still talk to your parents even after all they have done. My wife doesn't really want relationship with my family for what they have done. My family feels my wife butted into their business and had no right to have words with them. Thank you for reading this and sorry for this childish family drama.

[whichwayisup]

You have your own family now, your wife and kids.

 

This truly is a sad situation but you cannot reason with those who are hell bent on blaming others (aka your wife) and not taking responsibility for their own actions and mistakes. Your sis and her husband have taken advantage of your parents, selfishly and that is just plain wrong. They stab your parents with a smile on their faces and use them. Unfortunately until they mess up and your folks see them for who they are, this is how it is.

 

I say, write your parents a long letter, say it straight from your heart, all that you want them to know, your side of it all and also that it's sad that they can't see what is going on right under their noses. Mention too how your kids are missing out as well because of their behaviour towards you and your wife.

 

Your sis? don't even bother. She's a mess and stuff she's done will catch up to her.