emily_m Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I've been seeing a guy for just over a couple of months now (we're both living in a different country to home, both 28). Things progressed really quickly, we've spent a lot of our spare time together right from the beginning and I stay over about 4 nights a week. We like quite similar things and have the best laugh together. A couple of weeks in he told me he didn't want anything serious right now, but also that he didn't want to see anyone else either. I knew he was seeing someone for a short stint just before we met, as was I, so I was ok with this (at least short term anyway). Originally I saw pics of him and a girl and asked if he had a gf. He told me he knew her from home and called her a 'holiday romance' as she was here when he arrived. But I had suspected they were still in touch and that he still had feelings (nor did I expect him to be over her so quickly). I was in two minds about it - 1. We're keeping things casual right now, and 2. But do I really want to be caught up in this? Anyway I figured that as she was living on the other side of the world, it would fizzle, and that there was only so long this casual arrangement was going to suit me anyway. Although we've always behaved like a couple, are both very affectionate, etc. In addition he can be very short tempered, snappy, and impatient. When I'm on the receiving end of this, I make it clear I'm not happy with the way he talks to me. And I had pretty much decided to end things fairly soon as a result. To cut a long story short, I've been staying with him for almost two weeks now (I'm between homes) and when he was out one night, I was using his laptop to watch a film. As I was closing down his emails, I decided to read one with a title that caught my eye. He'd been sending flirty emails back and forth to a nurse from when he was in hospital about a month previously. Something I'd supported him through emotionally. I was quite shocked as he seemed keen to keep the conversation going and was quite persistent. So, I decided to read his Facebook messages and see what else he'd been up to. Here's what I found: - The girl from home he was seeing was actually due to be moving back over here next month, supposedly for him. They had a trip booked for November. For whatever reason she's now no longer speaking to him and isn't moving here. He'd been messaging her saying she was the most amazing person he'd ever met and he missed her and couldn't stop thinking about her. Some of which he'd sent when he was with me. - The girl's friend had messaged him telling him to back off, and that she couldn't believe the horrendous things he'd been saying to her. I got the impression the messages had been quite nasty and abusive. - He'd been messaging several girls (from home) who he'd obviously slept with in the past, reminiscing, flirting and attention seeking. Conversations obviously continued on whatsapp. - He'd said a few things to people that I know to be lies. Including how he was taking this 'amazing' nurse out for lunch. But I was with him on that day and know it didn't happen. I was kind of shocked to find a big woven web of lies and antics. He's clearly very insecure and seemingly very lonely and in need of a constant ego boost. I'm aware I need to end things asap, and I won't be staying at his house for much longer anyway. I just can't believe his cheek! Lying to me so badly when he's up to all kinds! Actually lying to a lot of people. And calling that poor girl a holiday romance when she was due to be coming back for him. Makes me sick. Anyways I guess I'm not asking a question...I just thought I'd share my story. I've never snooped before but my god I'm glad I did!! Thanks for reading, I really needed to vent 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Ugh men like him make me feel sick to the stomach. Glad you snooped earlier than later! What a messed up man! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author emily_m Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 Me too, lucky escape! Even I feel betrayed, I can't imagine what it must be like for those who find out their long term partners have cheated. I'm really struggling to believe there are any good guys out there Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 emily m, I'm sorry that things didn't turn out as you had hoped. A couple of weeks in he told me he didn't want anything serious right now, The clue was there from the beginning. If a guy says that to you while he is taking you out - run ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author emily_m Posted April 27, 2014 Author Share Posted April 27, 2014 You're totally right Aries, and I knew it, which is even more annoying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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