One month post BU - Craving contact! [update]

[SCJACK]

At this point I don't think you should even be friends with her. You are too attached to her, and you screwed up all chances of reconciliation. Why be her friend when she can't give you anything? Right now she's only agreeing to talk to you and meet up etc just to yank your chain, she doesn't care. Don't lean on her for emotional support for anything, find someone else for that. And testing her about the posting vids online, come on man, really? Why would you tell her that? She basically lost all respect for you for doing that.

[ahthepain]

Guys we ended it well. Basically I said that in over a month I didn't post those videos even though everyone was telling me to and after you were so cold and harsh to me I still didn't.

 

If anything she will think it's a bonus.

 

You say I have blown all chances. Isn't that a good thing? She's with a new bf, she doesn't think about me even once during the day, I can tell I'm dead to her, so surely it's good and that will help me move on? But I don't think she took it too badly because I didn't post them.

 

She is pretty tough. I offered her $250,000 in cash - I showed her I would transfer it to her bank account on my phone ready to go if we could have sex one last time and she still said no.

 

I offered to buy her a house if we could just live together as friends ... she said no.

 

Kind of classy I guess.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Guys we ended it well. Basically I said that in over a month I didn't post those videos even though everyone was telling me to and after you were so cold and harsh to me I still didn't.

 

If anything she will think it's a bonus.

 

You say I have blown all chances. Isn't that a good thing? She's with a new bf, she doesn't think about me even once during the day, I can tell I'm dead to her, so surely it's good and that will help me move on? But I don't think she took it too badly because I didn't post them.

 

She is pretty tough. I offered her $250,000 in cash - I showed her I would transfer it to her bank account on my phone ready to go if we could have sex one last time and she still said no.

 

I offered to buy her a house if we could just live together as friends ... she said no.

 

Kind of classy I guess.

 

I dont think you know how pathetic any of this sounds. No offense man, but oh my god that sounds awful. Everything you did is NOT attractive to ANYONE on this planet.

 

You offered her money like a hooker?!?!?! Good lord.

 

Put the shovel down. The relationship is now 100% over. There is no turning back. Delete her from EVERY social media site. All you will be doing is checking it every single day. Delete her number. DELETE EVERYTHING. There is NO excuse to keep all of this stuff. She LEFT you from someone else. That's like Robin turning on Batman, but he doesnt want to throw the suit away because it smells like him.

 

FULL NO CONTACT!

Edited April 28, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing

[elseaacych]

I really want to block her but the last three years nearly all of my pictures she has tagged me in so I will lose them. Also she has kept all of our pictures and albums from the last three years on her facebook - of us together, holidays ect and I don't want her to delete them which she may do if she finds out I have blocked her.

 

I still want to be able to have the freedom to call and text her if I need to (family situation, pet gets hurt and I need her emotional support, which she promised me she will give) I need that at the moment.

 

But I also know what you mean. If I'm not able to see what she's upto and new pictures of her with that guy then I can't get hurt as much.

 

I have a date lined up but I feel I will just constantly talk about my ex but that's another problem in itself.

 

Save the pictures to an email or on a flashdrive with her contact information. PPut it on the cloud. Then get busy shutting it down.

 

There is no can't in this situation, only a won't.

[BC1980]

You actually look worse than her right now. Offering to but her a house, paying her to have sex with you, threatening her with sex tapes. What is wrong with you? How low do you have to sink? You need to take a long look at yourself and figure out what's wrong with you.

[ahthepain]

Ok guys I will do that.

 

I think I said and did those things because maybe in the back of mine I wanted to kill it as a month on it still hurts just as bad.

 

I do honestly believe that somwehere along the line (great billy joel song) she will realise that what we had was great. I was a great boyfriend to her and we had a great relationship she admits that but says it's over and I can't make her love me.

 

I think it will be atleast a year if not two before she would even consider wanting to chat again, so I know I must move on.

[KaliLove]

Guys we ended it well. Basically I said that in over a month I didn't post those videos even though everyone was telling me to and after you were so cold and harsh to me I still didn't.

 

If anything she will think it's a bonus.

 

You say I have blown all chances. Isn't that a good thing? She's with a new bf, she doesn't think about me even once during the day, I can tell I'm dead to her, so surely it's good and that will help me move on? But I don't think she took it too badly because I didn't post them.

 

She is pretty tough. I offered her $250,000 in cash - I showed her I would transfer it to her bank account on my phone ready to go if we could have sex one last time and she still said no.

 

I offered to buy her a house if we could just live together as friends ... she said no.

 

Kind of classy I guess.

 

This is sick, disgusting, perverted, and extremely pathetic. She's not your paid wh o re. What the eff were you thinking??

 

You cannot buy someone's love and you cannot blackmail someone into loving you. You sure can make them hate you that way though, which is most likely what's coming. I know I'd hate someone who did this to me.

 

This whole post gives me a giant case of the icks. Seek help.

[SCJACK]

Ok guys I will do that.

 

I think I said and did those things because maybe in the back of mine I wanted to kill it as a month on it still hurts just as bad.

 

I do honestly believe that somwehere along the line (great billy joel song) she will realise that what we had was great. I was a great boyfriend to her and we had a great relationship she admits that but says it's over and I can't make her love me.

 

I think it will be atleast a year if not two before she would even consider wanting to chat again, so I know I must move on.

 

Honestly I don't think she will realize it. Not after what you just posted in your previous posts. You can only screw up so many times before they completely don't care. The sex tape thing, offering her money for sex, etc. She's probably going to remember that then how great you were. It's what you do after the BU too. Once someone loses all respect for you it won't matter how great you were.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Honestly I don't think she will realize it. Not after what you just posted in your previous posts. You can only screw up so many times before they completely don't care. The sex tape thing, offering her money for sex, etc. She's probably going to remember that then how great you were. It's what you do after the BU too. Once someone loses all respect for you it won't matter how great you were.

 

VERY true. Good point.

[ahthepain]

But I can't win can I?

 

I have to try and move on which is next to impossible without killing hope. If I know I've killed hope it should help me move on even though it hurts so much the thought of her never coming back.

 

But I've probably done myself a big favor in the long run.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

But I can't win can I?

 

I have to try and move on which is next to impossible without killing hope. If I know I've killed hope it should help me move on even though it hurts so much the thought of her never coming back.

 

But I've probably done myself a big favor in the long run.

 

Dude, hope was already killed when she left. You keep wanting this "closure", but its not going to come from her thats for sure. It only comes from you....with time and leaving her alone. Do 'that, you'll be fine. Yes, it sucks knowing she isnt coming back, but use it as motivation to do it right the next relationship.

 

You CAN win......by living a good life. That's how you win.

[ahthepain]

Thank you all again.

 

I am still hurting very bad, but I know that in a few weeks I will feel so much better.

 

I think I will just stick to my no contact and try my best not to think about her.

 

It's so hard when we did everything together.

 

I'm going on a date in a few days. I don't feel like dating but I need more female friends so even if we turn out to be just friends that would be great.

[ahthepain]

For those how don't know my situation - Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me without any real signs, very suddenly 6 weeks ago. She said the reason was that she didn't want to be in any relationship for a long long time and wanted to find herself. 3 weeks after BU she got in a full relationship with someone she met 3 days prior on a mobile dating app. I have been NC for just over a week now ...

 

I bought a new car, a very expensive supersports car and crashed it 4 last night. Totalled. I was laughing because even though I nearly died - high speed crash, all I could think about was my ex. I had some injuries but the only reason I wanted to go to the hospital was to see if my ex would come.

 

So this is 6 weeks on after BU and I feel alot worse. I've just typed a suicide letter and I can tell you if things don't improve I have no idea what to do.

 

She was my world. We were amazing together. My best friend and we don't talk and she is happy to never talk to me again. It has killed me inside.

[FredJones80]

If you're seriously considering suicide please seek help immediately.

 

It won't solve your problems.

[Strength in Healing]

The quote "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." needs repeated...

 

With all due respect, you're being selfish. Do you think you're the only one who has had their soul ripped out? We all feel like acid is coursing through our veins...

 

You realize you got along fine in your life before you met her, right? You had fun, laughed, went places and did things before you ever knew she was out there?

 

You need to wake up before you kill yourself. Burn that suicide letter. Write a letter of all the bad things your ex has done to you, all the pain she has caused, all the bad things she makes you feel. And burn it with the suicide letter.

 

There are so many people who have been through so much worse than you, and channeled it to make them stronger. You have to wake up brother before you never wake up again, and it all be for nothing.

[FeelingLikeAnIdiot]

Please please please get help. Call a suicide hotline or see a doctor. The only way for things to improve is if you get yourself better.

[Natsume21]

First off, the fact that you can buy a sportscar while the rest of us have to slave with horrible bosses in crappy ass jobs proves that you got money and lots of it.

 

With all the shallow chicks out in the world, why are you wanting to kill yourself over this one chick?

 

What's the matter with you? YOU GOT MOOLAH, DUDE!

 

You're already seen as more of a catch than 70 percent of men who don't by those shallow standards alone.

 

Screw that chick. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE. ALL OF US.

 

Unlike us though, you have a huge advantage. Use it, and use it to gain a good life.

[ahthepain]

All of you thank you so much for your replies.

 

The problem is with having a good amount of money - I can buy everything I want but not her. So I spend spend spend thinking it must make me happy. Surely I will be happy but I'm not.

 

I just can't stop thinking of her doing something with this new guy. How can she be so happy and not give me a minutes thought while I'm like this. It's crazy.

 

I am seeing two councilors each week and while that's fine for the hours around seeing them, it's when I'm alone like this that it hits me.

 

I just want to message her. Even if it's saying "I hate you for what you are doing to me now!!!!". But I know I shouldn't.

[FredJones80]

Really despirate

 

Oo-ar matey.

[KaliLove]

Suicide is the most selfish act a person can commit. I speak from experience..my mother killed herself and I will never fully heal from it.

 

If you can't pull it together for yourself, do it for your family and your friends.

 

The fact that you're posting about it on here is a good sign. It means you want to be talked out of it.

 

Please get yourself to a doctor before you do anything rash. I know I've been hard on you in your past posts but I really hope you get the help you need.

[Catwoman13]

For those how don't know my situation - Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me without any real signs, very suddenly 6 weeks ago. She said the reason was that she didn't want to be in any relationship for a long long time and wanted to find herself. 3 weeks after BU she got in a full relationship with someone she met 3 days prior on a mobile dating app. I have been NC for just over a week now ...

 

I bought a new car, a very expensive supersports car and crashed it 4 last night. Totalled. I was laughing because even though I nearly died - high speed crash, all I could think about was my ex. I had some injuries but the only reason I wanted to go to the hospital was to see if my ex would come.

 

So this is 6 weeks on after BU and I feel alot worse. I've just typed a suicide letter and I can tell you if things don't improve I have no idea what to do.

 

She was my world. We were amazing together. My best friend and we don't talk and she is happy to never talk to me again. It has killed me inside.

 

I know you're in pain but recently a friend of mine died in a high speed road accident. You think you're in pain now - you won't know the pain you'll leave behind. The betrayal is awful but that is what you feel - and it is what you must feel for a while. You have to go through with it. That's the risk you take with love. You will feel better again, you just have to bear it while it's at its worst and be strong in the moments you have some energy to move forward. Don't be discouraged by the dark moments, but don't be destructive. Going to hospital so your ex can come is ridiculous, and you know it. I don't know you or your ex but to break up so suddenly from a 3 year relationship seems a bit out the blue - are you sure there were no signs you were ignoring? Maybe your lesson here is to figure out if you are really as honest a communicator or listener as you would like to believe. Sometimes we miss those signals because we are too busy wanting to believe what we want to believe. That said, if your ex really didn't give you any chance at understanding her feelings before this happened then it really must be a terrible shock. I just think it sounds pretty harsh to end a relationship out the blue like that without any communication leading up to it. And that's the reason you have to remind yourself that next time will hopefully be making up/breaking up with someone who opened up to you fully and totally with their feelings. Sorry for your loss and stay strong!

[Natsume21]

All of you thank you so much for your replies.

 

The problem is with having a good amount of money - I can buy everything I want but not her. So I spend spend spend thinking it must make me happy. Surely I will be happy but I'm not.

 

I just can't stop thinking of her doing something with this new guy. How can she be so happy and not give me a minutes thought while I'm like this. It's crazy.

 

I am seeing two councilors each week and while that's fine for the hours around seeing them, it's when I'm alone like this that it hits me.

 

I just want to message her. Even if it's saying "I hate you for what you are doing to me now!!!!". But I know I shouldn't.

 

You are living PROOF that money doesn't buy happiness. However, money does make for better distractions.

 

You can take a trip, go see friends, club, try a new hobby. You can do these things cause unlike me stuck in a trailer park in the middle of Bumblescum Alabama, you're THE MAN.

 

Women come and go bro, enjoy each experience and learn their lessons. Focus on YOU.

 

But if that money is making you unhappy, there's a poor guy over here that would be glad to take it off your hands --Natsume21.

[Elle1975]

All of you thank you so much for your replies.

 

The problem is with having a good amount of money - I can buy everything I want but not her. So I spend spend spend thinking it must make me happy. Surely I will be happy but I'm not.

 

I just can't stop thinking of her doing something with this new guy. How can she be so happy and not give me a minutes thought while I'm like this. It's crazy.

 

I am seeing two councilors each week and while that's fine for the hours around seeing them, it's when I'm alone like this that it hits me.

 

I just want to message her. Even if it's saying "I hate you for what you are doing to me now!!!!". But I know I shouldn't.

 

I find that to get better, we have to want it, and work for it. It won't land on your lap while you're sitting on your couch crying.

 

I am fighter, and I know crisis can (do) happen in life. That's why I decide to punch life in the nose, and tell her who's boss. That's my philosophy on life.

 

Is it easy? Hell no! Personally I believe that people have a choice to live, or not. They can stay in this world, or leave. I choose to stay. And if someone makes me feel like dirt, I WILL get back up. There is no one in this world who's going to make me give up.

 

So.. you're going to fight, or you're going to total another car?

[Natsume21]

Men have a natural sense of possession when it comes to women they are into. However, the beauty of being human is that we have the willpower to rise above instinct.

 

She's not your property. You need to heal and go NC, cause I'm sure you're a good looking, successful dude, and that makes you a catch by the standards a poor guy like me may never reach

 

Use your strengths. Mine is comedy and intelligence. Yours is security and assurance.

 

If you can completely OWN what you're good at, girls will come to you, and then you can choose and test them out to see which ones will be better than your obviously unhealthy for you ex.

 

It's okay to cry man. But eventually, it'll get better. Till then, rant, rant, RANT AWAY on here and please don't kill yourself.

 

You're robbing an awesome girl of an awesome man, so don't be that guy.

 

Funerals suck anyway.--Natsume21

[FredJones80]

Bumblescum Alabama

 

Sounds nice, would you recommend it for a vacation ?