22 and never been on a date...

[fitzgirl]

OK, so I just turned 23, and I've still never been out on a real date... People tell me all the time how attractive I am, and I believe them. I have plenty of guy friends... I'm actually more comfortable around guys than I am around girls... but for some reason, I've never had a boyfriend. To top it off, I'm still a virgin. The last time I had the opportunity, I was shut down because of the fact. He didn't want me to get "attached".

 

I make a point to go out all the time, to clubs, the grocery store, the book store, museums... and nothing! I've even worked up the nerve to chat several guys up (tastefully) at clubs, but they turn out to be uninterested or gay. In fact, one of the guys I started talking to turned out to be gay, and now we're really good friends, totally onthe same wavelength... WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE GAY?)

 

Please don't advise me to find a hobby. I have a zillion of those.

 

For some reason, I only attract men I'm not attracted to, desperate guys, unavailables, or dirty old men.

 

I still live with my parents, as I'm still in school, and they have a very unhealthy relationship. Always fighting, arguing, putting each other down... and I know it's rubbed off on me. maybe I'm just affraid, and have this constant barrier up I can be very sheltered and will often cancel plans to just hang out at home because I don't feel like going out. I don't let friends get too close... because I don't know how to relate to them. Come to think of it, I have a hard time relating to anyone, because I have a hard time trusting people.

 

Bottom line is... I'm tired of being single. I've put it out of my mind, given up trying to find anyone in the past year... but now my parents are starting up with the typical questions, like "why don't you find yourself a boyfriend?", "are you a lesbian?" ... and everytime they bring it up, I break down crying. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be in a relationship! I want a boyfriend! I'm tired of the hook-ups that only lead to 3rd base. I feel like such a child, and whenever people find out that I'm still a virgin, I feel like they have one over me.

 

Any advice at this point would be wonderful! Thanks for reading this super long rant.

[birdstealingbread]

Your situation sounds very similar to my own when I started college. I made it to the age of 19 without so much as a first kiss, and felt pretty crappy about it - especially when I had to listen to my friends brag about who they hooked up with that weekend, or what a boyfriend bought them, or whatever. I pictured a long, dull future of Lean Cuisines and cats. Many, many cats.

 

I now have a wonderful group of friends at school with a scope that extends beyond hook ups and gossiping. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel inferior for not having a boyfriend. And then, when I least expected it, a good male friend of mine asked me out, and we've been together several months now. I didn't pursue him romantically when we first met, but our attraction to one another grew over several months of friendship.

 

I have my own set of trust issues and quirks (my parents sound a lot like yours!), but time helps. And remember: you know that your parents' relationship is unhealthy, so what position are they in to criticize your own? Don't give them that power!

 

Speaking of power, and if you're tired of hook-ups - if you want a boyfriend, you have to act like a girlfriend. The kind of guy you'd want for a relationship wouldn't take advantage of a girl as diverse and attractive as you describe. The kind of guy you'd want for a relationship wouldn't feel like he "had one over you" to find out you are still a virgin.

 

You say you are very active and go many places, you're attractive and sound intelligent. Why not take a break from hook-ups and hold out for a guy who will still be there when you cross home plate? Good luck to you.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Ever think you might be interested in girls?

[Barby]

Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue

Ever think you might be interested in girls?

 

 

I kind of wondered the same thing, it seems odd to me that you would break down and cry when you parents ask you if you're a lesbian. If you think you might be attracted to females, go to a local gay/lesbian bar and see what happens.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue

Ever think you might be interested in girls?

 

Are you available IHNFIC?

[EIN]

Fitz, I feel you cause your story parallels mines except I'm a guy. I am dealing with it by keeping my mind occupied while working my ass to save money to start my own business. Around where I work, the motto is "No one wants to know you if you aint got no money" (yeah it sucks right) but dont get me wrong. I am saving money not to be like them but to get myself out of that ****ty thinking neighborhood. Worry about your priority first, which is you, and then when you feel complete, then go looking for someone that complements that completeness. Thats how I am dealing with it.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by fitzgirl

 

 

For some reason, I only attract men I'm not attracted to, desperate guys, unavailables, or dirty old men.

 

I still live with my parents, as I'm still in school, and they have a very unhealthy relationship. Always fighting, arguing, putting each other down... and I know it's rubbed off on me. maybe I'm just affraid, and have this constant barrier up I can be very sheltered and will often cancel plans to just hang out at home because I don't feel like going out. I don't let friends get too close... because I don't know how to relate to them. Come to think of it, I have a hard time relating to anyone, because I have a hard time trusting people.

 

This is the issue.

 

I was single and a virgin until I was 19 because I was molested as a child, and raped when I was 12. I was raped again at 19 and finally had a breakdown and sought counselling, suddenly I could date. I broke the wall down. How bizarre that it took that final incident of degredation for me to do something about being so g-d frigid.

 

If you don't let people get close, you can't date. period. work on that. it's tough. I have mostly male friends as well.

[tattoomytoe]

well dating sucks as bad or more than being single!

 

hopefully the wait will be well worth it and you will not have to suffer through obnoxious losers!

[fitzgirl]

Thanks to everyone for all your great and swift advice!

 

 

birdstealingbread -- your advice makes me feel so much better. What you said totally makes sense! And from not on, I'm going to act the girlfriend part. You hit it right on the nail!

 

blind_otter -- thank you for sharing your story. I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. I'm just glad things are looking up for you.

 

I can be frigid too. I'm willing to let people get close, I just don't know how. Everytime I allow myself to warm up to people, I get shut out. Im considering therapy to deal with my issues, but it's just a matter of convincing my parents. They don't believe in it. I see my friends being so casually close to each other, and I only wish I could let loose like this. I'm always worried that I'm intruding. I find it very difficult just to be myself in social situations. I'm too polite. (did I just go off tangent?)

 

I cried when my parents brought it up not because I'm unsure about my sexuality... but just because I'm tired of being single. Tired of mulling over what I'm doing wrong, and being lonely.

 

Anyway, I did consider the fact that I might be a lesbian. I've imagined myself with girls I'm friends with, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm just very much so attracted to men. No question.

 

Thanks again! Keep the advice coming! So glad I found this community.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by fitzgirl

I can be frigid too. I'm willing to let people get close, I just don't know how. Everytime I allow myself to warm up to people, I get shut out. Im considering therapy to deal with my issues, but it's just a matter of convincing my parents. They don't believe in it. I see my friends being so casually close to each other, and I only wish I could let loose like this. I'm always worried that I'm intruding. I find it very difficult just to be myself in social situations. I'm too polite. (did I just go off tangent?)

 

Hey, are you of asian descent by any chance? hahaha. sorry, personal issues.

 

Anyways, you might could get free counseling through your university. They offer that at the Uni. I attended/now work at.

 

I veered off on the wrong path and started using various substances to chill out socially, now I'm struggling with the consequences in that it's hard to get OUT of the scene once you're in it. That said, a little drinky poo never hurt anyone.

[fitzgirl]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Hey, are you of asian descent by any chance? hahaha. sorry, personal issues.

 

Anyways, you might could get free counseling through your university. They offer that at the Uni. I attended/now work at.

 

I veered off on the wrong path and started using various substances to chill out socially, now I'm struggling with the consequences in that it's hard to get OUT of the scene once you're in it. That said, a little drinky poo never hurt anyone.

 

No, I'm american. I know where you're coming from about substances, though... almost everyone I know does stuff. I've tried it, but haven't since. Anything other than drinking, I want to steer clear of. I don't need it. I'm glad you realized the same. That's what also boggles me... like smoking, it's such a social thing. If you don't do it, you're out of the loop.

[FolderWife]

Are ya self absorbed? because I swear, whenever I'd go out with someone, and all they seemed to talk about was themselves, YAWN! How can you have something in common with someone who just talks about themself. Then, whenever I talk about myself, they just nod and look around the room. You have to be interested to be interesting. Have a conversation. One part you, one part them. When they talk, don't look around the room, or just nod, say, "Uh huh...oh, I know!" Roll your eyes at their frustrated points, laugh at their funny points. Don't act like you're half listening.

 

I tried to think of a pretty friend of mine, and what was wrong with her that she couldn't get a boyfriend...she liked to talk to much, and didn't listen.

[fitzgirl]

Originally posted by Monday

Are ya self absorbed? because I swear, whenever I'd go out with someone, and all they seemed to talk about was themselves, YAWN! How can you have something in common with someone who just talks about themself. Then, whenever I talk about myself, they just nod and look around the room. You have to be interested to be interesting. Have a conversation. One part you, one part them. When they talk, don't look around the room, or just nod, say, "Uh huh...oh, I know!" Roll your eyes at their frustrated points, laugh at their funny points. Don't act like you're half listening.

 

I tried to think of a pretty friend of mine, and what was wrong with her that she couldn't get a boyfriend...she liked to talk to much, and didn't listen.

 

I'm totally the opposite! I worry that I talk about myself too much, so I avoid saying too much about myself... I'm an awful conversationalist to boot, as well. I'm great at intros, but surface is all I can seem to get out of myself. I blank on other things to say... sometimes I'll pick up the extra info within their responses to my questions (can u tell i've read a lot of self help books?)... I need to talk more. That's my problem. I clam up. I need someone to bring the conversation out of me, as awkward silences are my specialty. ;-)

 

However, sometimes if I'm just not into or attracted to a guy (see first post for men I can only seem to attract), I'll act aloof and uninterested, just to make him go away... which usually has the opposite effect.

[joel]

ah i hear ya i am 24 same thing as u but i'm a guy. i'm not ugly either been told i'm handsome. i'm asian though. i'm just shy and stuff. at the same time as a guy i'm kinda of glad b/c having a gf costs money-going to movies, dinner, hanging out vosts money man well most things. oh ya and i have no car and no job too but finding a job.

hey i would date ya or love to hang with ya but i live in vancouver bc

[runner]

hi fitzgirl,

 

being single myself, i can definately understand what you're going through with the horrors of finding a mate. but the fact is it won't happen without a little bit of strategy and whole lot of patience. you already exude the third ingredient, and thats wanting a boyfriend to begin with.

 

perhaps part of the problem could be that you're trying too hard to find mr. right. you need to ease off on that a bit and just try and keep your sanity with the single life. i say sanity cos we live in such an insane world, so its not necessarily you. ...start with that and from there you can try to build and maintain some bit of confidence. good guys (the guy you deserve) like confident girls, not just the other way around.

 

be more open and sociable; another part of your problem is that you might be mixing into the wrong crowd. you'd prolly do best to stick around ppl who share your more passionate interest, and you're more likely to be more open and keen to conversation. party bars, etc. are no place for a single girl your age to be looking for quality company; most guys there have a one item agenda, be careful. and no you don't need more anti-social hobbies, you need to go out there and be around ppl.

 

lastly - be yourself; don't change for anyone or any guy and you'll attract the right ppl. a great guy will accept your flaws and shortcommings and not just want you for your looks.

 

hope my 2 cents have given you something to think about. good luck ! =)

[Fuzzy Chickens]

Holy crap. I thought I was the only one.

 

I'm a 20-year-old male, and I've never been on a date. I, too, have a hard time relating to other people. There's one girl I've met who thinks the same way I do about damn near everything from politics to the miracle of Macaroni and Cheese... and she's a lesbian.

 

I was very repressed throughout Middle and High School, because I was afraid of becoming what I despised most about other people my age: completely obsessed with sex. So I tried to force myself to the other extreme, and now I'm paying for it. Being a virgin kind of grates away at my mental health. I suppose that being deprived leads to being depraved. I got a pet rabbit a week ago, and that has helped, because now I can talk to the rabbit instead of talking to myself all the time... but I think that any day now I might start referring to the bunny as my "precious"

 

Still, I have no regrets. I'd rather be a virgin my whole life than lose it to a one-night stand. My dignity is important to me.

 

Anyway... my advice? I think the two of us should consider getting together. I haven't felt anger for at least 5 years, so if your parents' argumentative habits have indeed rubbed off on you, then there's no better guy to vent at

 

-Gregorius

[Fuzzy Chickens]

For the record, I also haven't felt grief, fear, or shame for at least 5 years, and most of my pride or enthusiasm for anything is fake.

 

I'm a wee bit of a zombie.

[Grinning Maniac]

Ahh....let me say that this thread makes me feel relatively normal. I'll be turning 20 late next month, and so far I've dated two girls casually and had two relatively short-lived girlfriends (about 4 months each). Not that impressive, I know, but a drastic change from my early teenage years...

 

- First kiss to 2nd base at 18 (freshman yr in college) with gf #1.

- "The whole nine yards" at 19 (sophomore yr) with gf #2.

 

I just exploded this year though. I swear they must be putting something in the water up here. This school year was insane. My last gf and I couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We were making out half-naked at the end of first date...which wasn't even 36 hours after first meeting each other. Jesus. It was like some wild animal documentary. *thinks* Damn, we did a lot of ****ing... but maybe it just seems that way, in comparison to [color=red]]18 YEARS OF INVOLUNTARY ABSTAINANCE.[/color]

 

To get to the point, so you all don't think I'm just tooting my own horn... when I was younger, I wasn't in this state of mind at ALL. From middle school, all the way to my senior year of high school, I thought that I was a COMPLETE F*CKING LOSER. Maybe it was true, maybe not. Girls didn't want anything to do with me at all. Every single girl who I had feelings for, would give me that "I like you, but just as a friend" crap. That didn't help me when I just wanted to be "friends" with the large squishy orbs on their chests. I'm serious. I was getting absolutely no parts of pussy when I was in grade school. That was some depressing sh*t to me back then, because I would always hear about the other cats who were getting "action". People getting blowjobs in the woods behind the playground in middle school. People having sex on the abandoned 8th floor of our high school. Depressing days for me. I even had one girl in high school laugh at me and tell me "I didn't need to know that" when I told her that I liked her. All the way through high school, I had the stupid misconception that if you're still a virgin by your senior prom, you'll be banished from the face of the Earth.

 

As if they'll be playing "musical chairs" with pussy at the end of the night, and if you lose, they'll cut off your penis and make you live in the boiler room of the mall where you'll get regularly gangbanged by mall cops.

 

"And at closing time, we're flinging used condoms at ya...PUNK BITCH VIRGIN!"

 

I thought sex and relationships were so important back then... Flash-forward to the day I lost my virginity. What had changed? Absolutely nothing. I was 19 years old, and I had waited (mostly against my will) until it was with someone I cared about. That was great. But I didn't get superpowers and my dick didn't glow with an unearthly golden light. Quite disappointing. Hollywood had led me astray... They had us all believing sex would be the missing link in our lives. We would be *MEN*. Do you want to know what losing my virginity linked to?

 

WANTING SEX EVEN MORE THAN I DID PREVIOUSLY.

 

Maybe it's just because I'm a guy, and because my parents burnt me with cigarettes in order to train me not to cry, or show any emotion...but sex didn't change anything in my life. I remember thinking to myself that morning after the girlfriend had left and I was trying to toss my drippy sheets... "That's it? That's the magical loss of virginity? Fun ride, but I'm not enlightened. What a ****ing gyp. I want my money back."

 

And that's how the long tradition of her paying me for sex began....

 

I suppose if I have to make a point...it's that you guys and gals shouldn't worry so much about it. It's all good. Pop your cherry at 13 or 25...whatever. It's all the same. One day, you'll all meet that special person who you really makes you feel great. It'll be the right time, it'll be the right place...and you'll get to be just as sexually frustrated and miserable in relationships as the rest of us.

[Fuzzy Chickens]

That's an amazing coincidence. I burned myself with matches in an attempt to improve my emotional responsiveness.

[oceanlove_gx]

Hi fitz:

You situation fits me so much that i'm 22 and going to be 23 in 2005, and the fact is i used to get a girlfriend even without a kiss when i was 20, and now i just got a girlfriend without love but kisses and sex who dumped me on this V Day.

Everyting happens so fast even like a hollywood movie, i don't give the details but the point is that i want to have a girlfriend. For the most time, lots of girls loved me but when i found my lover who i want to be with, she refused me, even refused my rose.

Things all happen like that you love the ones don't love you,and you don't love the one who loves you. In colledge, lots of boys and gals here pursue the different sex cuze of loneliness and sex, but i'm not. I'm still looking for real love although lots of my friends don't believe.

I can't believe that im still a virgin when i am 22 which i'm not at this time. But after the first time, and after several times, my newly girlfriend dumped me. So , how dare i to pursue a new one for love?

I need time to heal, to understand, you and i are really similar in lots of situations, friends of mine can never imagin i don't get a girlfriend, but it's true.

My msn is [email protected]. hope to get close contact and share with you

lol

[7on]

Yeah, I'm 19 and I just got my first kiss about a month ago. And I turn 20 the 26th of this month. Girls I've liked are just not into me. I g with girls, sometimes I'm the only guy in a group of girls - though this has been a recent occurrence. Women have even said my problems were that I was too agreeable and that I apologies too much. Personally I'd love to find someone who I wouldn't fight with and we could go out and do things fun like skiing, canoeing, boating, aka all the things that'd be fun doing - but I want to do them with a girlfriend and not a bunch of rowdy guys throwing punches and what not. And the girl who I was most compatible with - and was my friend - is now mad at me for being too worried about her. That situation involved me contacting some of her friends to help her through this, but they turned out to not be that close of a friend. Honestly by her away message on AIM I thought she was contemplating suicide. I would have called her, but I lost my cell tuesday. And I never go over to people's houses without an invitation.

 

Anyway, there is this girl I know who "might" have a thing for me - but I don't know. I really don't feel anything for her, like a first sight type thing - and I actually felt this for her friend. And I started hanging out with their little group Thurs. and found out that her friend is a big flirt - talking about other cute guys and such. Nothing is a bigger turnoff. Though this girl said stuff like "she stalked me" and another friend said "she was obsessed with me" but she seems like the kind of girl that would joke about this stuff. Anyway part of the reason I haven't had a girl is that I can't read girls. I do not pick up on signals - other than when they are hostile towards me.

[rakula]

Originally posted by birdstealingbread

Your situation sounds very similar to my own when I started college. I made it to the age of 19 without so much as a first kiss, and felt pretty crappy about it - especially when I had to listen to my friends brag about who they hooked up with that weekend, or what a boyfriend bought them, or whatever. I pictured a long, dull future of Lean Cuisines and cats. Many, many cats.

 

I now have a wonderful group of friends at school with a scope that extends beyond hook ups and gossiping. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel inferior for not having a boyfriend. And then, when I least expected it, a good male friend of mine asked me out, and we've been together several months now. I didn't pursue him romantically when we first met, but our attraction to one another grew over several months of friendship.

 

I have my own set of trust issues and quirks (my parents sound a lot like yours!), but time helps. And remember: you know that your parents' relationship is unhealthy, so what position are they in to criticize your own? Don't give them that power!

 

Speaking of power, and if you're tired of hook-ups - if you want a boyfriend, you have to act like a girlfriend. The kind of guy you'd want for a relationship wouldn't take advantage of a girl as diverse and attractive as you describe. The kind of guy you'd want for a relationship wouldn't feel like he "had one over you" to find out you are still a virgin.

 

You say you are very active and go many places, you're attractive and sound intelligent. Why not take a break from hook-ups and hold out for a guy who will still be there when you cross home plate? Good luck to you.

 

Hi birdstealingbread ,

 

I know this is off topic and I was trying to send you a private message but couldn't. But how did your friend end up asking you out? I've known a friend of mine for quite sometime and I think I've recently fell for her.

[Screenplay]

As far as it being "wierd" to be 20+ and to not have been in a relationship or to be still a virgin; well then I guess there are quite a few of us that are "wierd" and you can add me to the list. Myself i'm 20 and though when I was a young teen I had a semi-serious (well, as serious as those can get anyway) relationship and a casual one in high school I really havent dated at all.

 

Now heres my outlook on that. Firstly, I used to think that I was an oddity for it too. All of my friends save one were always, always with a girl and bragging about their exploits, and meanwhile there was me as the handsome, nice, and very lonely guy over there in the corner. Only recently though I realized (Partly through the help of this site as a matter of fact) who I was. I found that personally I simply wasnt ready for a relationship in the past due to a poor self image (I had a rough upbringing, and likely had a slight inferiority complex).

 

As for it being wierd? No. Hell no. For one thing, the only bar, the only measure of how "normal" you are is the one that you place upon yourself. Look back on my previous sentence of my friends with their girls; ALL of them have complained to me about how they dislike their relationships. Rather than look at the amount or longjevity of your friends relationship in comparison to yours, look at the quality. Is the problem in that you simply "cant" find someone to date, or is it rather that your views on dating and finding someone are based on a different criteria? You and me may be similiar in that we simply require the ability to connect to the person, as opposed to the simple need to chalk another mark up on the board.

 

But then of course is the thought nagging you at the present, why is that number 0? There are a variety of reasons that "could" be placed there. Speaking from personal experience here; take the sentence of "I am tired of being single" and think about why. Is there some overarching requirement in the grand scheme of things that requires you, right now, to be in a relationship? Is it "you" feeling the need for companionship, or is it pressed down upon you by your parents, your friends, or elsewhere? The reason you haven't been dating could be as simple as you haven't found anyone who you really felt that dating would be a good idea.

 

But I rant, and rant about my own personal, unprofessional opinion. My advice would be for you to simple sit down and examine yourself, stare into your own eyes in a mirror, and take stock of who you are. Youve already mentioned that you are good-looking and are confident, so you have things in your favor. Everyone, every single person on this planet, wants to be in a relationship full of love and compassion; you, me, and everyone who has posted in this thread included. The key however is to keep in mind that though you are single now, you won't always be, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Take comfort and gain confidence from the fact that you are your own person, your measure of success and the quality of your life is only measured by yourself, and that those who try to take measure of your life should take a long, hard look at how that same measurement stacks up against their own.

 

[Edit: I can't spell to save my life.]

[Sydney54]

My situation seems very similar to yours. I'm 22, never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin...I've never even been kissed. I've always been kind of shy and quiet, so I guess that's the reason why.

 

Anyway, I know what you're going through. I'd love nothing more than to have someone special in my life. I get so sad and lonely being by myself all the time...often to the point of crying. What makes it worse is that it seems like everyone but me has a boyfriend. Several girls I know who are my age are already married, and even my younger sister is engaged to be married in December. I also know how you feel when you get comments from relatives. I get so sick of people asking me "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" or "When do you think you'll get a boyfriend?" and stuff like that. It just adds insult to injury. Sometimes I just feel so abnormal...like there's something wrong with me that's keeping guys away...

 

Anyway, just know that you aren't alone. I understand exactly what you're going through. Best of luck.

[RedneckRomeo]

I guess this thread is filled with the weird ones - have room for another? haha I too am 22 and never had a real date, and still a virgin (though I'm not really upset about that part of it). I've had several girls I've liked and tried to get to know - but things never worked out - and they never were really into me now that I look back on it. They were just tryign to be friendly. Advice to everyone - dont give up - keep trying, and you'll someday find the person thats just perfect for you. I found someone that I'm absolutely crazy over - and we always have a ton of fun when we're out together. Still - I havent had an actual date with her yet - but I'm getting closer. I'm going out this weekend with her and some of her friends as something different than the norm - and we're all excited about it. (well, I am, and from the 'sound' of her emails - she is too).

 

I don't think of it all as being a bad thing. By having trouble finding a girl that really likes me, I've been able to sit back and watch everyone else in relationships, but see them go bad time after time. I have learned a lot from them, and I believe it will help to make my first relationship a great one, and a lasting one. I'm looking for someone to have fun with, to talk to, to call my girlfriend, but I'm really not looking for a one-time thing or a short lived relationship...I want to find someone for life, and I may have found her.

 

Another thing I've learned through hindsight is that EVERYTHING in my life has led me to where I am now. Everything - from where I went to school, to the things I did in elementary school - the people I met, the way I lived, the girls I've had crushes on but lost, EVERYTHING. I was sent to a private school, and wasn't that much of a popular kid. We had some new students (2 girls, 2 guys, all brother/sister) at the school one year and they became some of my better friends of the time because of the way things were. They left the school and I saw them rarely after that. Advance about 10 years - I never had a girlfriend, never even had a crush on someone until a few years prior, but started hangin out with some girls in an attempt to possibly find someone - and it was through them that I was able to get back in contact with the same students that I met 10 years earlier, and eventually developed a huge crush on the one girl who I was friends with long ago. She did get herself a boyfriend, but recently they broke up - and I've stuck beside her the whole while - and that brings me to where I am - and its the best place I've ever been in life - and it just keeps getting better.

 

So just stick with it everyone - don't give up - as Nietzche (spelling?) would say - That which does not kill us makes us stronger - and INDEED IT HAS.