Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 If that were true then why does what they say bother you? I am SO much better than a person who makes fun of someone for being anorexic. Come on now, I think I am 1000000 times better than people who make fun of other people for being ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 If that were true then why does what they say bother you? And it hurts my feelings when people pick a sore spot such as my late college entrance. That is why I care, I am a very kind and sensitive person. It hurt my feelings; I do NOT think these people are even close to the person I am. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I am SO much better than a person who makes fun of someone for being anorexic. Come on now, I think I am 1000000 times better than people who make fun of other people for being ugly. Of course you are so what does it matter what they think or say? It doesn't. But in the future you may not want to put too much of yourself out there, be it sensitive information on your past or rides to low-lifes until you know that the person is worthy of your generosity or intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 Of course you are so what does it matter what they think or say? It doesn't. But in the future you may not want to put too much of yourself out there, be it sensitive information on your past or rides to low-lifes until you know that the person is worthy of your generosity or intimacy. It hurt my feelings. I don't think they are better people than me. I think I am far superior to a person who is mean. Sorry but I value kind people who are generous to others and who do not say nasty things about other people. I believe a person like me, who doesn't say nasty things to other people, is a better person than these creeps who made fun of me for being anorexic and it making me an old college student. I do not fathom how anyone could think I was not any better than these creeps. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 I have recently being dealing with a newish employee who has filed complaints that his co-workers have been talking about him, making awful statements about his background and character, etc. He even provided a couple of audio recordings allegedly including these comments. But the only conversations on the recordings concern distance learning platforms and other mundane shop talk. Just an anecdote. Make of it what you will. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) Don't worry about what bullies think of you. Who cares? Just spend time with your friends and the people who do care about you and are nice to you. Edited April 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 Are you okay, Leigh? You've seemed really on edge lately. Don't worry about what bullies think of you. Who cares? Just spend time with your friends and the people who do care about you and are nice to you. No I don't like being called fat actually it really hurts my feelings. I also don't appreciate seeking support on here and being told by some wanker that I am just as mean of a person as the people who told me to kill myself. I fail to see how ANYONE in their right mind, would come on here and say that I am just as bad as some girl who calls me a fat slut who was a loser for being anorexic and going to college later in life, JUST because I refuse to give her a lift. No sane person would think I was not a lot more decent than a girl like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 And thanks for the supportive post. I have a lot of decent friends who all think I am a wonderfully nice individual. My friend picker is excellent, I love my own company so don't need to have people around me, hence I am picky and only become close to people who have genuinely good hearts. I regularly have guys falling forme because I am "so nice". How bizarre? Maybe, hmmm, geeez, this is no coincidence that every person I have come into contact with has commented on now kind I am to them? The new kid at work... the new student who cannot reference properly..... always me that helps. I don't deserve a meddle but I am DEFINATELY not the mean type. So yeah, plenty of people who are not deluded enough to think I am a bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 And thanks for the supportive post. I have a lot of decent friends who all think I am a wonderfully nice individual. My friend picker is excellent, I love my own company so don't need to have people around me, hence I am picky and only become close to people who have genuinely good hearts. I regularly have guys falling forme because I am "so nice". How bizarre? Maybe, hmmm, geeez, this is no coincidence that every person I have come into contact with has commented on now kind I am to them? The new kid at work... the new student who cannot reference properly..... always me that helps. I don't deserve a meddle but I am DEFINATELY not the mean type. So yeah, plenty of people who are not deluded enough to think I am a bad person. I don't think anyone is intending any harm. Just trying to get you to understand that while others have many things they have to work on, this subject is something you need to work on yourself. You are being just as judgmental, albeit in another way, as those who have wronged you. But again, this all circles around to where we started... self esteem and external validation. You've turned what was an opportunity to strengthen yourself into a pity party where you've consistently judged others, even those trying to help you open your eyes, and swung back around to the denial/superiority/judgmental issues. I hope you are able to understand that no one is beating you down, just trying to help you find sympathy and a path to help yourself from now into the future. No one is saying that in the area of niceness you aren't further excelled than others, just that your judgementalness and superiority aren't a whole lot different than those who are wronging you. ^^^^^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thanks Philosoraptor I liked your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 You said I am no nicer than the girl who called me a fat slut for refusing to spend 30 dollars petrol on her, when we were not even friends. I do think people who abuse animals and do heinous acts are sub human. Bullies and mean people are also just not nice people. If you are not friends then why does it matter what she called you? Let her shout into the wind. It doesn't harm you unless you allow it to, and you definitely allow it to . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 If you are not friends then why does it matter what she called you? Let her shout into the wind. It doesn't harm you unless you allow it to, and you definitely allow it to . She was just some girl I met in college briefly. I did not like her but she is younger than me and has no money and I felt good about giving her lifts. She would run out of food in her house since her parents didn't stock the house with food, and call me to bring her maccas. She would ask me once a week to take her an hours drive away to her bf. After doing a few good deeds because I enjoy doing them, I told her to please stop asking me. She then called me a fat slut blablabl. Can you please elaborate why you feel I am that mean myself? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 She was just some girl I met in college briefly. I did not like her but she is younger than me and has no money and I felt good about giving her lifts. She would run out of food in her house since her parents didn't stock the house with food, and call me to bring her maccas. She would ask me once a week to take her an hours drive away to her bf. After doing a few good deeds because I enjoy doing them, I told her to please stop asking me. She then called me a fat slut blablabl. Can you please elaborate why you feel I am that mean myself? Was that THIS girl: I never liked this young girl as a person, I just felt really good doing nice things for people. I was not trying to win her approval, I did not like or respect her on a personal level, she was trashy and not a very good person. Can you not see how you are no better? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 Was that THIS girl: I never liked this young girl as a person, I just felt really good doing nice things for people. I was not trying to win her approval, I did not like or respect her on a personal level, she was trashy and not a very good person. Can you not see how you are no better? I did her favours because it make me feel good to do a good deed. I didn't do it to win her over. I am a really good person and I really enjoy doing nice things to people. I have many friends and have no need to do something purely to win a person over whom I do not much like. I am a nicer person than her plain and simple. She called me a fat slut and made fun of my past anorexia, I don't think a nice person would do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 These bullies: enjoy hurting other people. Me: I do not enjoy hurting people and go out of my way to make people feel good. The bullies: have no empathy and wished me dead, due to being "ugly". I find this sociopathic to have such a lack of empathy. Me: Most of my thought space is dedicated to mapping our a life and career that will make the most out of helping other people as much and as much as I can The Bullies: were not philanthropic minded, were not altruistic and spent a lot of time being mean to other people. They had NO interest in world affairs or issues, and only cared about themselves and their friends. Me: I would never make fun of a person for being anorexic. I would never tell a person to commit suicide because they were ugly Me: I do not go asking people I know whom I don't like for lifts and then call them ugly fat sluts when they say no. Me: I get off over helping other people, always have, it is just something that I derive a huge self joy from, in the process of also making others feel good. Me: I helped a girl that I knew wasn't a very nice person, because I have empathy and derive joy from helping people even if I feel them less nice than me. I think anyone who thinks I am just as nasty as the bullies are deluded. These things, in my opinion, make me feel like a nicer person than the bullies. I think they are mean spirited, unkind people. I would not want my friend or loved one dating such a person. I do think I am more classy and better quality than a person who tells me to go and die for being ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 My point is, your world view is strongly based on judging and rating of people and their inherent worth and value. You perceive your world primarily through that lens and YOU suffer tremendously because of it. When someone calls you names or says cruel things like telling you to hurt or kill yourself, that is despicable of them. It is a loathsome and massively cruel act. If called upon to judge their behavior to their faces, I would tell them exactly that....it is an accurate statement and they may even choose to take some action to correct it. (Probably not. :-( ) I would recommend NOT leaping from there to say that they are loathsome, inferior people, either to their faces or behind their backs or even in my own mind. Reason: DON'T judge PEOPLE as inherently inferior, it inevitably will make them react badly. When I made the simple point above, earlier, you took it as me judging you and calling you equivalent to the inferior people you despise - you appeared very hurt and almost enraged. I was NOT judging you or thinking of you as inferior. AT ALL!!! I see you have been very hurt and you are continuing to suffer in this thread. I'm trying to show you a way of thinking about and interacting with the world that I believe will bring you much better peace and happiness. Please consider reading The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. I think it will help you. I am truly sympathetic, as I believe most people are in this thread, and I hope you can find a better way to navigate the world. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 25, 2014 Share Posted April 25, 2014 You titled your thread, "Abuse from People". Not, "Let's rate Leigh 87 and determine whether she is better than those who bully her". <-- If you started a thread with this title, I'd add my thoughts that it is fundamentally an unproductive topic. IDEA: EVERY human being is entitled to respect as a human being. This applies regardless of their behavior. The more respect you give, typically the more you get. Not always, and some people will always behave badly and hurt you. Don't bother trying to prove you're better than them, just withdraw from and/or ignore those whose behavior is typically poor or hurtful. DON'T rate them or judge them. DON'T rate or judge yourself. If you can stop rating/judging others, I think you will have less concern about others rating/judging you and this will bring you peace of mind. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 25, 2014 Author Share Posted April 25, 2014 I simply think these bullies are nasty people. I don't know many truly nice people telling other people to kill them selves for being ugly. I simply stated thatI feel that nasty bullies are not high quality people. I don't think mean spirited people are of a high quality. I know many people who thinks these views are common sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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