nbman Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I had to see my ex today when I dropped off my daughter. We didn't say anything, but it just sent me tumbling emotionally. I have been doing so well since she moved out, but today is terrible. I am glad I came here instead of contacting her, or doing something really silly.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 I get so disgusted with myself that I allow one person to have such a negative impact on my mood. I am bigger than that. And I have never been one to hold on. This just feels so ridiculous to hold on to the idea of something that doesn't want me. Something has to click in my brain soon. This just sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
jt27 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I wish I could just flip a switch and turn her off in my head too. I can't stand that I am holding on to something that isn't there. I guess it happens when you love something so much that doesn't love you back. This sucks indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 I just finished a hard workout. It felt great as soon as I was done. But, maybe fifteen minutes after I started crying uncontrollably. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular, but these emotions were overwhelming. I am in control now, but it has left me feeling extremely angry. Anger like I have not felt yet, and it has been almost two years!! Angry at the whole damn situation!! Mostly angry that she didn't even give me a chance to rectify any of our issues before I was discarded after seven years!! Has this ever happened to anyone? I feel like I have been in a sad fogness for so long and now this anger is errupting and I really don't want to feel hatred towards her. I know healing is not linear and tomorrow is another day... time will tell I guess!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 Do I say congratulations? 47 days LC, we work together. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 No. Not unless you intend to open up the R again. Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 It's not just you! I try to really engage all my anger during my workouts and since she left me, I've been smashing all my personal bests at the gym...and I feel great for all of an evening (at best). The next day I feel like I've taken a HUGE turn backwards, I'm deathly upset and angry at her for never evening giving the relationship a chance - 7 years for me too. You loved her, you trusted her and never expected such a sudden implosion. Anger i healthy Mary Oak - I guess all I can say is don't let it overtake you. Emotions you can feel, actions you cannot take away. Tell me - have you been improving your figure / working harder since she left? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Zilch. It's not petty that you don't "join in." It's an acknowledgement to yourself that you're not ready to communicate in a detatched way yet. Take it this way - holding yourself away, because you know it's not right despite your want is a sign of your inner strength. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 i absolutely have. Physically, I look and feel better. Emotionally is still touch and go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 I knida figured I shouldn't say anything. I don't think it would really effect me either way, as we have to communicate through email so often for work related items. SO, I thought maybe a quick Congrats would be nice. But, I guess if I have to put so much thought into it, I shouldn't. But I am really a nice person and usually like to extend congrats to other co-workers. I don't know.. kinda torn.... Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 But I am really a nice person and usually like to extend congrats to other co-workers. She is a co-worker you had a relationship with. There's a difference. Leave it alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 I don't know.. kinda torn.... I vote no. You probably get your co-workers a drink in the middle of the day or something similar, would you get her one? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 If you bump into EX randomly at work, say congratulations. It will save you from having to say anything else. Otherwise don't initiate not even to be nice / polite. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 No. (ten characters) Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Keep your distance. No. Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 i absolutely have. Physically, I look and feel better. Emotionally is still touch and go. After 7 years, it will be for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 And only minutes before you posted this thread you created a thread that you were bawling after your workout today. A repeated no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 I am not going to say a word. Feels odd, but it is about me at this point. Plus she probably would only feel obligated to reply. Don't need that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 So, I haven't said anything about the award, but I really feel immature by not acknowledging it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 So, I haven't said anything about the award, but I really feel immature by not acknowledging it. There's nothing immature about self-preservation. It's the smart and mature thing to do for you. Stop thinking about how it looks in her eyes. If you happen to bump into her, then say a quick something. Other than that, focus on what you need to do to help you move on from this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 So, she email me regarding work, and I emailed her back saying thank you and btw, congrats on your award. SHe wrote back how the project went and said she had some coupons for me. I said, Thanks anyways. But, she left the coupons and some cds she borrowed from me with a note. Even in the note, I can tell she has no feelings for me anymore. I guess, in a way, I needed that. I don't feel any different. In fact, I think it feels good to act so aloof about the whole thing. I still love her, but know I won't have her, so I am focusing my energy elsewhere. Actually planning a summer vacation! That is something to look forward to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 I went into my ex's office this morning to drop off some paperwork, and saw she had changed her pictures to her new girlfriend and her dog. I know this is expected, and is okay. But, it sucks and it hurts! And she knew I would see it and it would hurt.... Just makes me hurt Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Yes it does but try not to linger on it. Take some deep breaths and rise above it. Remind yourself your self worth and be nice to yourself Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Hey-she is moving on and so should you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 and broke contact....after 50 days!!! Started with seeing the pictures this morning, then I had to contact her about signing and notarizing some paperwork. I informed her that I put the paperwork at her desk. She responded with "good morning beautiful" I said that must have been sent to someone else, then I broached the subject of her gf talking **** about me. She said that she would never say anything about me, whatever! I don't really feel much worse. Life moves on. I know it. I am glad I brought up the things I was hearing, so that is a plus. But... this girl is straight back to NC.... I said what I needed to. I saw the pictures, and that painted a picture of their life together, and I guess I needed to see that. I didn't go searching for that, it was just kinda thrown in my face. But, evidentally, God needed me to see that in order for me to become stronger.... Link to post Share on other sites
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